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So the end is Bill Nye the science guy. The last hurrah for the year of 2013 in regards to bullpens.  Don’t be upset, you won’t even know that I left, I’ll even make it less awkward and do the Irish goodbye and just sneak off to the bathroom and never come back.  So, it has been a fun year from start to finish, it wasn’t as exciting as last year but we still had 19 guys over 30 saves as compared to guess what from last year.  The suspense isn’t that awesome because it’s also 19.  Crazy how things change but never ever really change, stats are a finicky bunch all muddled with consistency. Damn you numbers and your ever chronologically ordered entanglement. So it saddens me as a Yankee fan to have to write the final time the name of Mariano Rivera.  There is nothing else to say about Mo that hasn’t been said by numerous other more famous sites.  The stats are crazy and to me he is my Tawny Kitaen crawling across the hood of that car looking all 80′s, but an awesome 80′s. Unfortunately that makes Joe Torre David Coverdale and that just ruins it all.  So happy trails GOAT, it’s been real and we appreciate your fantasy aptitude for as long as you have supplied it.  So have at the final rankings of the year for the closers and the dudes who wait for injury or next year.

 

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Craig Kimbrel –  (Jordan Walden, Luis Avilan, Scott Downs)

2. Kenley Jansen –  (Ronald Belisario, Paco Rodriguez, Brian Wilson)

3. Greg Holland –  (Aaron Crow, Kelvin Herrera, Tim Collins)

4. Joe Nathan –  (Tanner Scheppers, Joakim Soria, Robbie Ross)

5. Aroldis Chapman –  (J.J. Hoover, Manny Parra, Sam LeCure)

6. Mariano Rivera –  (David Robertson, Shawn Kelley, Boone Logan)

7. Addison Reed –  (Nate Jones, Matt Lindstrom, Donnie Veal)

8. Grant Balfour –  (Ryan Cook, Sean Doolittle)

9. Koji Uehara –  (Junichi Tazawa, Matt Thornton, Craig Breslow)

10. Glen Perkins –  (Jared Burton, Casey Fien)

11. Edward Mujica – (Trevor Rosenthal, Kevin Siegrist, Seth Maness)

12. Sergio Romo –  (Santiago Casilla, Sandy Rosario)

 

DonkeyCorns

Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.

13. Joaquin Benoit – (Jose Veras, Drew Smyly, Bruce Rondon)

14. Fernando Rodney –  (Joel Peralta, Jake McGee, Alex Torres)

15. Jim Johnson – (Tommy Hunter, Francisco Rodriguez, Darren O’Day, )

16. Jonathan Papelbon – (Justin De Fratus, Jake Diekman)

17. Rafael Soriano –  (Tyler Clippard, Drew Storen)

18. Chris Perez –  (Joe Smith, Cody Allen)

19. Mark Melancon –  (Jason Grilli, Tony Watson, Bryan Morris,)

20. Casey Janssen –  (Sergio Santos, Aaron Loup, Brett Cecil)

21. Jim Henderson –  ( John Axford, Brandon Kintzler)

22. Rex Brothers –  ( Matt Belisle, Adam Ottavino, Wilton Lopez)

23. Huston Street –  (Luke Gregerson, Dale Thayer, Nick Vincent)

24. Danny Farquhar –  (Yoervis Medina, Oliver Perez)

25. Steve Cishek – (A.J. Ramos, Mike Dunn)

 

Brain Freezes

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Carlos Marmol– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Castro in the head with a pick-off throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

26. Brad Ziegler –  (Heath Bell, Will Harris, Joe Thatcher)

27. Ernesto Frieri - (Dane de la Rosa, Michael Kohn, Kevin Jepsen)

28. LaTroy Hawkins –  (Gonzalez German, David Aarsdma, Robert Carson)

29. Kevin Gregg –  (James Russell, Blake Parker, Pedro Strop)

30. Chia-Jen Lo –  (Josh Fields, Josh Zeid, Kevin Chapman)

  1. Gregorius Chant says:
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    FYI, Pedro Strop is being implimented as the Cubs Closer, see article by Carrie Muskat (the Cubs beat writer)

    Kevin Gregg has saved the Cubs this season, stepping in to notch his third career 30-save season. But the Cubs have decided to look ahead, and will use right-hander Pedro Strop in save situations in the final games. Strop, acquired from the Orioles in the Scott Feldman trade, was 0-for-3 in save opportunities this season, and has 15 holds.

    “I’ll try to get him an opportunity,” manager Dale Sveum said Thursday of Strop.

    The switch is not a reflection on Gregg’s performance. The right-hander was 32-for-37 in save situations. But Gregg will be a free agent after this season. Strop will be entering his first arbitration year.

    “Kevin’s done far and above the call of duty,” Sveum said. “He’s done one heck of a job. It’s going to be an opportunity [for Strop]. We want to see what he does in that role. Kevin has been one of the better closers in all of baseball. God knows where we’d be without him.”

    – Carrie Muskat

    Best wishes to my Razzie Friends!

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Gregorius Chant: cool thanks for the heads up.

      • Gregorius Chant says:
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        @Smokey: Ha, so right after they announce that about Strop, they promptly brought him in, in the eight inning with a 3-run lead. Makes perfect sense – NOT

    • abdoozy says:
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      @Gregorius Chant:

      Kevin has been one of the better closers in all of baseball. God knows where we’d be without him.

      Damn straight. Without him they’d be in last place in the Central, 25.5 games out of the lead.

      No, wait…

      • Gregorius Chant says:
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        @abdoozy: Ha!

  2. Ben says:
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    SMokey, trying to gain a couple of points in saves while running into maxing out my innings. How many innings left would project for a closer? – Thanks!

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Ben: teams in contention 7 teams not prolly 4 or less.

  3. Gregorius Chant says:
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    Most closers have about 60 innings for the year, divide that by 152 games, and closers average 0.4 of an inning per game. Prorate this for the remaining ten games (on average) and that means that closers could pitch near 4 innings apiece, however it may be less than that especially for playoff teams in case they rest their closers or weak teams trying out “next years” closer. I would probably say 3 innings per closer at most….

  4. Jack says:
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    Thanks for all of your help this year. One more question…..Grilli 1IP 1K 0H this afternoon. The probability that Melancon loses closer job during next 3 games is ____.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Jack: I say we see one appearance for each guy in the next series. Then it’s an alternating thing til the playoffs.

      • Jack says:
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        @Smokey: Would you rather have Frieri (vSEA) or Melancon (vCIN)

        • Smokey

          Smokey says:
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          @Jack: Frieri

  5. Jeff says:
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    Uehara just had one of the best runs in the history of baseball (literally) and is higher on the player rater than every closer except Kimbrell. Would you really rather have Balfour and Reed?

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Jeff: Uehara has had a remarkable season for basically being the fourth option there. If he closed all year would be higher for sure.

  6. Peter says:
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    Who do you see closing for Tampa in 2014?

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Peter: a reclamation project of sorts. How about Joel Hanrahan. Just throwing darts though.

  7. Matt P says:
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    Smokey! Dynasty league, I’ve got Hawkins and Storen…

    Hold onto Storen in case they try him out as closer again??

    Any guys that might be FA’s (deep 16 team league so no Rosenthal’s available) that I could keep instead of Hawkins and Storen? I’m thinking maybe Vic Black

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Matt P: Cody Allen Sean Doolittle.

  8. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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    fields has been in as “official” HOU closer now for a bit.

Comments are closed.