So I was semi-bored this week, only semi, because I am a guy and porn still does exist. I was looking at the save totals this year as compared to last year, so I went to my local library and to my surprise it still exists, although I had to google directions on how to get there. So, the numbers this year through Tuesday — that’s 8/26 for all of you keeping score on your watch calculator — are as follows: there have been 1971 games played, 1971 wins and losses (if they don’t equal then something is wrong) and the total saves for MLB to date is exactly 1,000. You’re asking yourself how does this help you? Well this is a numbers game where the games left play against you in order to move up in the standings. So, if save totals are averaging at 50.8% of the wins, and this number is fairly consistent (2012: 51.4, 2011: 51.1), and there are 459 (there are 2,430 wins and loses every year, minus rain outs) wins left to garner a save in, that gives you 233 saves left to collect in your league. That may look like a lot but you prolly only have anywhere between 2-4 closers on your roster, so the accumulation for your gain may be slim. Stick around for some opines on some closers, I can’t promise there won’t be anymore numbers though.
Greg Holland – Is just sik wit it. Slang intended. To think he was demoted from the job for nearly 2 weeks earlier in the year. Yeah, I know he is a top 5 closer, but statistically he is on par or better than some of the popular favorite closers who get smoke ritualistically blown up their you know whats. K/9 better than everyone not named Chapman. BB/9 better than Kimbrel, and the best xFIP among all closers. I am not saying he is the best, but merely reflected and letting some numbers hit ya.
Tyler Clippard – If he isn’t owned go get him, the Soriano ship is sinking and word through the grapevine is he may be on the outs.
Addison Reed – If you haven’t noticed, if you play in H2H leagues Reed basically has won you the last 2 weeks prolly all by himself. With 8 saves in as many chances he is making a push to be tail end of the top 10 closer pond based solely on quantity. He doesn’t woo you with the sexual K chocolates that others offer but he has the job until he sucks. Now if the pale hose get some decent SP next year look out.
Rex Brothers – As the burial at sea of Rafael Betancourt commences, Brothers takes the reins and is going to run into next year’s little orphan awesome. I wish Rafael the best of luck and hope that Splinter still allows him the occasional pizza. Brothers has the goods, K/IP over 1, a nice fastball and a decent put away slider. He is going to be a highly thought of fantasy option next year, because I say he is.
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.
Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.
I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Carlos Marmol– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Castro in the head with a pick-off throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.
28. LaTroy Hawkins – (-) (Gonzalez German, David Aarsdma, Robert Carson)