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Unlike other 2013 fantasy baseball rankings posts, I’m just gonna rank all of the closers in the format of every Closer Look I’ve done in the past.  Unlike other Closer Looks, I put projections in.  The setup men are in order in parentheses, and the relevant ones have projections, as well.  Once Brian Wilson and Jose Valverde sign, I’ll add them; neither are much more than end of the staff flyers.  You should draft saves first and foremost in all but Holds leagues.  Ratios for relievers are very fickle.  Ratios for middle men are all over the map.  Every year middle men come out of nowhere.  Just because Venters is with a top reliever does not make him the number one middle man.  David Robertson would be that.  When I rank my top 400 on Friday, I’ll have everyone in there.  Closers as of right now are listed first even if I think someone else will get more saves; as with the Tigers shituation.  The other day Smokey did a top middle relievers for the NL post (AL will be up shortly); Rudy also has all of the Holds projected in the 2013 fantasy baseball projections.  My biggest problem with ranking Holds is there’s no rhyme or reason from season to season with closers, then take that fickle fluidity (fickidity?) and multiple it by five when you start to go further into bullpens.  Last year, the Holds leaders were Joel Peralta, Pestano, Mitchell Boggs and Dor-K (for our dyslexic readers).  The year before, only Pestano made it in the top 20 and he ranked 16th overall.  Tyler Clippard was the best in 2011, where was he in 2012?  66th overall after he took May thru August off to captain a ship in America’s Cup.  If getting saves is about opportunity, getting Holds is about opportunity plus a coin toss.  Anyway, here’s all the closers for 2013 fantasy baseball:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Craig Kimbrel – 5-2/2.07/0.92/107, 46 saves (Jonny Venters 6-2/3.66/1.29/65; Jordan Walden, Eric O’Flaherty)
2. Jonathan Papelbon – 4-2/2.55/1.02/85, 43 saves (Antonio Bastardo, Mike Adams)
3. Jason Motte – 5-3/2.62/1.00/82, 41 saves (Mitchell Boggs, Trevor Rosenthal)
4. Mariano Rivera – 3-1/3.08/1.12/50, 35 saves (David Robertson 4-5/2.23/1.13/100, 7 saves; Boone Logan, Joba Chamberlain)
5. Joe Nathan – 4-4/2.98/1.05/74, 42 saves (Jason Frasor, Tanner Scheppers)

Donkeycorns

Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes his the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.

6. Sergio Romo – 3-1/2.44/1.01/69, 35 saves (Santiago Casilla, Javier Lopez)
7. Rafael Soriano – 6-3/2.89/1.09/81, 39 saves (Drew Storen, Tyler Clippard)
8. Tom Wilhelmsen – 3-6/2.76/1.13/82, 33 saves (Carter Capps, Stephen Pryor, Josh Kinney)
9. Greg Holland – 5-5/3.24/1.23/94, 34 saves (Aaron Crow, Kelvin Herrera, Tim Collins)
10. Huston Street – 2-4/2.37/1.01/50, 25 saves (Luke Gregerson, Dale Thayer)
11. Glen Perkins – 2-5/2.91/1.09/74, 29 saves (Jared Burton, Alex Burnett)
12. Casey Janssen – 3-2/2.78/1.07/67, 37 saves (Sergio Santos, Darren Oliver)
13. John Axford – 3-3/3.10/1.18/90, 34 saves (Jim Henderson, Mike Gonzalez)
14. Fernando Rodney – 4-5/3.64/1.31/50, 32 saves (Joel Peralta, Jake McGee, Kyle Farnsworth)
15. Steve Cishek – 2-5/2.89/1.19/62, 22 saves (Mike Dunn, Ryan Webb)
16. Jim Johnson – 4-5/3.39/1.22/44, 38 saves (Pedro Strop, Darren O’Day)
17. J.J. Putz – 3-2/3.12/1.07/54, 30 saves (David Hernandez, Heath Bell)
18. Jonathan Broxton – 5-1/3.78/1.30/55, 32 saves (Sean Marshall 6-2/2.78/1.15/70, 9 saves; Jose Arrendondo)
19. Joel Hanrahan – 3-4/3.89/1.33/62, 33 saves (Andrew Bailey 5-4/4.22/1.25/40, 5 saves; Koji Uehara)
20. Grant Balfour – 4-1/3.54/1.07/69, 29 saves (Ryan Cook 7-3/3.05/1.09/94, 8 saves; Sean Doolittle)
21. Chris Perez – 2-4/3.19/1.16/57, 37 saves (Vinnie Pestano, Joe Smith)
22. Rafael Betancourt – 3-4/3.27/1.10/59, 32 saves (Matt Belisle, Wilton Lopez)
23. Jason Grilli – 2-4/2.34/1.12/82, 29 saves (Mark Melancon, Tony Watson)

Brain Freezes

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Carlos Marmol– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Castro in the head with a pickoff throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

24. Ryan Madson – 2-1/3.90/1.24/54, 30 saves (Ernesto Frieri 6-4/3.19/1.26/88, 7 saves; Sean Burnett, Scott Downs)
25. Addison Reed – 4-3/3.90/1.28/52, 27 saves (Matt Thornton, Jesse Crain)
26. Brandon League – 1-4/3.89/1.28/49, 17 saves (Kenley Jansen 5-1/2.25/1.02/90, 22 saves; Ronald Belisario)
27. Carlos Marmol – 2-4/3.98/1.43/84, 17 saves (Kyuji Fujikawa 4-2/3.34/1.21/62, 12 saves; Shawn Camp)
28. Bruce Rondon – 2-2/4.17/1.37/32, 7 saves (Joaquin Benoit 4-2/3.22/1.10/82, 22 saves; Phil Coke)
29. Frank Francisco – 2-5/4.59/1.33/40, 15 saves (Bobby Parnell 5-3/2.98/1.31/65, 14 saves; Josh Edgin)
30. Jose Veras – 1-5/4.37/1.47/82, 19 saves (Wesley Wright, Hector Ambriz, Scrappy Doo)

From Around The Web

  1. anoraxx says:
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    Hi, Grey. What do you think of Hanrahan? Is closer role his to lose or is there a possibility that Bailey could take over? Will he benefit of moving to Boston in terms of saves or will he be punished by moving to tough division?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @anoraxx: It’s his job to lose, which he could at some point, hard to say… Bailey would take over, assuming he’s healthy…

  2. Powerslave says:
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    whaaaaaaaat???, No DH/PH rankings?????, I was looking forward to projections for the craplatoon tandem of Ibanez/Bay, damn….., just wondering about Huston Street being ranked #10 and projected for only 25 saves…….

  3. Elwood Blues says:
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    It will be interesting to see if Grilli lasts the whole year as closer.

  4. Jon says:
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    I remember you loved Madson last pre-season… why is he a Brain Freeze this year? Uncertainty after his injury/layoff?

    If Jansen was the closer would he be a Donkeycorn?

    • Xeno29 says:
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      @Jon: Madson still recovering for surgery, not even sure if he will be ready for those first few weeks of the season according to the Angels. Kind of a toss up if Frieri starts year as closer, and never gives it up.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Jon: Yes on Jansen, what Xeno29 said for Madson…

  5. MattTruss223 says:
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    So, I went out and got the Kendrick Lamar “Good Kid, mAAD City” album the other day (Only $3.99 on Google Play FYI) on your recommendation. I’ve listened to it twice all the way through. The first time I listened to it, I didn’t realize it, but the tracks were all out of order and I didn’t really get into it. I thought there were a few good tunes. Upon realizing that track order is pretty important, I re-listened to it in order and it’s awesome. Weird that track order makes that big a difference, but when an album tells a story the way this one does, it matters. It’s a little on the gangsta rap level for me (must’ve been pretty funny yesterday – 28 yr old white male bumping songs about gang bang in his Ford Focus through Maine). I really like “Money Trees” and “B*tch Don’t Kill My Vibe” is far and away the best song on the album. For $3.99, it’s well worth the money. I snagged a single track off the “deluxe” album too, “The Recipe” for $1.39. That’s a nice track, I’d recommend it. Thanks for the tip Grey.

    • eastsider says:
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      @MattTruss223:
      Interesting. I’ve never thought about the order of the tracks being so important. I feel like I like an album more each of the first few times I listen to it, especially if it an artist I’m not familiar with.

      • MattTruss223 says:
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        @eastsider: I wouldn’t normally either, but there’s short skits at the end of each track and if you follow the tracks in order, it tells a story about him growing up in Compton. You could listen to it out of order, but it’s more enjoyable as a single work I think. It’s a unique, cool album. Very personal/emotiinal sounding.

    • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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      @MattTruss223: What good rapper does this guy most compare to? I will try to listen to one of hissongs later this week.

      • MattTruss223 says:
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        @Wallpaper Paterson: He’s fairly unique, he’s backed by Dre, so there’s some influence there. He admits to being influenced by Tupac as well, specifically “CA Love” w/Dre. Outkast is an OK comparison. It’s definitely a well thought out production much like Outkast’s stuff. Give “The Recipe” or “B*tch Don’t Kill My Vibe” a listen to get a feel for him.

        • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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          @MattTruss223: Andre 3000 and 2Pac are my two favorite rappers, so I will definitely check out this album now. I had been totally turned off by rap of late to the point that I have not been paying attention to any new stuff.

          • MattTruss223 says:
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            @Wallpaper Paterson: Sweet man! $3.99 on Google Play, can’t really go wrong at that price.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @MattTruss223: Nice, glad you like it! Compton, Butch, Don’t Kill My Vibe, Poetic Justice and The Recipe are currently my favorite songs, but I think you’ll find the whole album listenable…

      • MattTruss223 says:
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        @Grey: Absolutely, I’ve found myself humming Poetic Justice to myself today.

  6. Peter says:
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    Your blog rocks. I am a first time reader, & have been stuck in Saberhagen-Metrics for years.

    Thank you for what you do. Right up there with the first cup of (good) coffee for the day.

    Turning to closers, please rank the following in terms of health & job security: Perkins, Soriano & Perez.

    Thanks.

    PS I am on my 3rd cup.

    • Adam says:
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      @Peter: Pretty sure I can handle this one…Soriano (#7), Perkins (#11) and Perez (#21).

      Source: THIS POST!

      • Jay29 says:
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        @Adam: He said in terms of health and job security.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Peter: Thanks for the kind words! Perkins, Perez, Soriano…

  7. Giacomo says:
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    Grey – What player forecasts are used to create the values in the player rater? Are they the streamer projections or something else?

  8. Senator Clay Davis says:
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    Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

  9. Tom says:
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    Is Cervilli also Jewish?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Tom: Why?

  10. GT says:
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    Bullish on Cishek. I’ve read a lot of “experts” down/lukewarm on him this year. Sleeper post coming?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @GT: I’m not writing any sleeper posts on closers… SAGNOF!

  11. Todd25 says:
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    After the roller-coaster ride of Axford last year, i’m surprised hes not in the Brain Freeze section.

    • Todd25 says:
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      @Todd25: On another note Jon Rauch signed with Miami! he’s got a job now… hmmm… now who will i get to fix my plumbing now?

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        @Todd25: Ha! Axford is fairly safe as of right now…

  12. How many Closers were there last year??? 125???? … Seemed like that anyways…

    I really believe, the traditional Closer of the last 40 years has begun to change in MLB..

    Think some committees will take hold with some low budget outfits by design now – if only to keep the RPs wages down in ARB… Why pay a fella an extra 2 million for empty closing games #s – when you’re a couple years away from having a decent shot at pulling the ring…

    Last year sure scorched me… It has been worse and worse every year for the past 7 years or so..

    It’s now like some grade B Hollywood gladiator or Ben Hur movie with the stretcher barriers racing out of the vomitorium (correct) into the coliseum’s arena to gather up the closer’s body parts after the crowd has put their thumbs down or the lions have finished with the poor lads or their chariot has crashed…

    I have no idea anymore with these lists for closers… Throw a dart works well and draft extra “any-ones” for your bench… You need at a 4 minimum in Yahoo.. Better to have 5 out of the gate — oups – meant vomitorium… You can cut them later to cherry-pick SP in the 2nd half when the lower half of the table are no longer playing the game and you have a nice comfortable lead in saves or a collection of body parts – whatever the case may be…

    In deeper league… ONLY keeper leagues… One lousy one and some in-waiting ones are more than enough… Semi-Punt the Cat and hope you wind-up with 4 or 5 or 6 cheap $$$ points as others teams fail or dump around you… Spending more than 15$$$ on saves is a trap… You have to have been lucky or have dumped into cheap ones the year before to be strong here IMO…. Your money is better spent elsewhere…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @t moore: Last year we were hit by the Closepocalypse… Throwing a dart works, SAGNOF!

      • @Grey:

        Sorry, I’m an older gentleman… And not up on the “hip” puterese..

        What does SAGNOF mean????

          • @Grey:

            Boy, that was a lot of help…

            Think, I need to signup at my local adult school for a Razzbonics language class to understand those answers..

            Probably, wouldn’t be able to hear well enough to understand the heavily accented instructor though…

            I really have no hope of ever being hip, so, I’ll just ingnore it all and move along… Now where did I leave my walker????

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Ha! I think there’s a Continuing Education class for Razzbonics at your local college…

  13. TheNewGuy says:
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    Looks good on the whole. Always useful closer rankings.

    Though not sure quite how C Perez isnt above Hanrahan and Broxton with the numbers projected. They are all still donkeycorns mind.

    Interesting on Axford, I thought you’d be down on him (not in the sexual way) after his craptastic 2012. You think he’s gonna bounce back with style then?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @TheNewGuy: In a lot of ways I think Axford’s 2012 proved the Brewers are going to him, which is good for saves… Then again, he could get replaced the first week of the season if he struggles again, it is after all just saves… There could be a case made for Perez being above those guys… In the big picture, they’re all ranked next to each in the top 400…

  14. Paddyman says:
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    Hey Grey,
    Rodney below Axford is hard to understand. 48 saves and and 0.60 era below a guy that was all over the place, lost his job, regained his job, lost his job again etc What gives? I know people will be all over Rodney and that you don’t think he will be worth what his ADP will be, but ranking him below Axford is a whole nother level of pessimism. So did you hear that Rodney is injured or something? I think he’s more like #6 above Soriano who could lose out to Storen, and the SF closer circus that Romo leads.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Paddyman: Not with the stats I projected for him… I see a bounce back for Axford and fall for Rodney… He wasn’t anywhere the pitcher he showed last year…

    • Jay29 says:
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      @Paddyman: Draft for 2013, not 2012.

  15. Cobb says:
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    Any Donkeycorns in particular that you’re targeting? Or just best value available?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Cobb: Just try to grab three of them, or as many as you can… Really just best value…

  16. Mr. Rickey says:
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    I’m taking a late round flier on Scrappy Doo and maybe Benoit – does anyone else remember Scooby Dum? Is he too politically incorrect to be mentioned now?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Mr. Rickey: Scooby Dum — ha! Is he too politically incorrect? Nah… It’s like not being able to mention Cousin Jeri…

      • Rabbit says:
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        @Grey:
        Nice Cousin Jeri reference–though I will always remember her as Jewell in Deadwood. Your comment made me look up her entry in Wikipedia–do you know she began her career doing stand-up comedy? That takes some guts to do stand-up in front of a bunch of drunken fools sitting in dimly lit clubs when you have Cerebal Palsy. (For the record, I count myself among the drunken fools when I go to comedy clubs, or regular bars, or pretty much anywhere they serve alcohol.)

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Oh, yeah, I totally remember she was a stand up comedienne… That was her gig on the show, I think she was playing a highly-stylized version of herself on the show…

  17. Trip Wildhack says:
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    Grey, what are your thoughts about A.J. Ramos of Miami. He’s had success closing at multiple levels and has the K-rate and make-up you want in a closer. Plus, at 26, he really should be pitching at his peak right now. Should Cishek falter, I could see him getting a shot at the job.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yeah, he’s a sneaky guy that could see some chances further into the season (like August)… They might also sign Valverde…

    • wily mo says:
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      @Trip Wildhack: my three favorite Sneaky Possible Closers right now are ramos, josh fields in houston and bryan morris from the pirates.

      ramos is as you say.

      fields was picked #1 in the rule 5. was a first-round pick as a college reliever by the mariners years ago but never figured out command. finally seemed to get it this year in the red sox system. look at his numbers – or just take my word for it, they were good. but the sox didn’t protect him for some reason nobody seems to understand and the astros grabbed him. his control went to crap again in the dominican over the winter so maybe he crashes and burns but if not he could wind up closing after the astros inevitably flip veras. he has the pitches and the likely opportunity. just needs to aim, and he did it last year.

      i just wrote a lot of words about josh fields

      morris: throws hard, grounders, yadda. could pitch his way to next in line after grilli. the other guys PIT has aren’t really much to look at. people keep saying victor black, but he’s a lot like fields only without the one year of good command.

      anyway. there is my essay on sneaky bullpen guys. i hope you enjoyed it

  18. Cole says:
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    I wonder if K-rod is going to sign/commit substantial battery anywhere this year. I didn’t think he was donzzo in terms of stuff last year. Only 31 yrs old…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I think he’ll probably headlock a random person who is twice his age in line at a Dunkin Donuts…

  19. Yeezy Taught Me says:
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    Grey, first of all just wanted to say you’re the shit. Secondly, if you like good kid maad city you should check out Kendrick Lamar’s earlier album Section.80. Both great albums

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks! Cool, will definitely check it out…

  20. DKohn says:
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    Yo Grey, you marvelous mustachioed man you, you reading anything good these days?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I just finished reading my first Crichton book… Was good, I would’ve been fine just watching the dinosaur movie though… I actually finished it last night so would love any suggestions, preferably ones that are iTunes downloadable b/c I like the iPad Mini for reading…

      • Steve says:
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        @Grey: You can also install the iPad Kindle app, so you can buy from Amazon too…

        • Steve says:
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          @Steve: And again, to subscribe to the post…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Oh, nice… will definitely do that because there’s so few books in iTunes… Surprisingly few…

          • DKohn says:
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            @Grey: Ha ok cool thanks! You could also just steal the books online through torrents.

            Basically any album, movie, or book is online for free these days. If you’d like to learn how to acquire these things, and promise not to alert the Feds it’s easily explained.

            Just let me know if you have a Mac or PC

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              I have a Mac…

              • DKohn says:
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                @Grey: Ok so all you do is:
                1) Download the Program “Transmission” (just type in Transmission torrents into google and it will come up)
                2) The site I use is http://www.torrentz.com, you go there type in anything you want (ie. Shawshank Redemption, 2Pac – All Eyes On Me), and wa la a link will come up matching what you just typed in. You click that link, then you click a torrents website to download from (I typically use Kickasstorrents, but any of the options there will work). It will bring you to their torrent webpage, and then you search on the page for an icon that says “Download Torrent”. (Sometimes sites make this link difficult to find to keep you on their page, but it will be there somewhere)
                3) Then a download will appear. Open that, and click Ok to download, and it will open up your Transmission program you downloaded earlier, and boom free entertainment forever. (In the preference section of your Transmission program you can specify where you want your downloads to go)
                4) If you want to download a book put in a combination of the author, book title, or author and book title, but the most important part is after you put in either of those you type “.epub” at the end. You want to download “.epub” files. Books are harder to find on torrent sites because there are less of them but they are out there. Then you can just open the .epub book files in iTunes and load them onto you iPad.
                5) Finally if you don’t find what you are looking for on torrentz.com, all you have to do is type in what you are looking for say Shawshank Redemption with the word torrent after it into your google browser and links will come up just the same. (There are tons of torrents websites)
                6) Basically torrents is the best kept secret in the world. I haven’t paid for an album, movie, or book since like 2004.
                7) Enjoy the early wedding gift!

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Awesome! I would Like this comment if we were on Facebook…

                  • DKohn says:
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                    @Grey: haha sick!

                • DKohn says:
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                  @DKohn: Oh and lastly if you’re downloading movies and you want good quality make sure the files are at least 2gb or 2000mb.

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
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                    Good to know, thanks!

                    • DKohn says:
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                      @Grey: Anytime, it’s the least I could do

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Still need book recommendations….

                • Malarkey says:
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                  @DKohn: Sweet! any suggestions for us PC users? Or does this work for PC as well?

      • potus says:
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        @Grey: If Crichton is what you want– try ‘State of Fear’. It’s a solid hard charging read.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          @potus: I don’t necessarily want Crichton, I just had never read him before and it was on iTunes, so I bought it… But will keep that in mind…

          • RambleOn says:
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            @Grey: Under the Banner of Heaven by Krakauer, great read. After hearing about The death of Chis Kyle, I thought of reading his book, but looked into it and heard that he doesn’t go into great detail about his kills. I read that a better book is Marine Sniper by Charles Henderson. It’s about Sergeant Carlos Hathcock. Check it out, I’m about to read it.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Yeah, read the Under the Banner of Heaven book before… Definitely amazing book… Would read it again even… Will look into the others…

  21. Razztastic says:
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    @Grey; @all;

    2nd yr of a 4 yr 6×6 (obp & qs) keeper league. Roster setup is C-1B-2B-3B-SS-OF-OF-OF-UTIL-UTIL SP-SP-SP-SP-SP-RP-RP-RP BN-BN-BN-BN. We get to keep 10 guys.

    Who’s the odd man out from this group (presumably 1 of the last 3-4 listed)?

    Strasburg
    Felix
    Bumgarner
    Kimbrel
    Tulo
    R Zimmerman
    Lawrie
    C Santana
    Goldschmidt
    Craig
    C Crawford

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Crawford…

  22. Steve says:
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    I’m still chugging through Simon’s Homicide. Real good.

    Doubt you ever got started on that James Elroy trilogy either – American Tabloid/The Cold Six Thousand/Blood’s A Rover. Great stuff.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I’ll read an Elroy book, for sure… Which one should I read first…

      • Steve says:
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        @Grey: In that order.

        If you want some baseball, (and I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned this before) Halberstam’s ‘October 1964′ is fabulous.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, remember you mentioning that… I think I’m gonna do Elroy, which one?

          • Steve says:
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            @Grey: In the order I listed them. American Tabloid kicks it off and then the next two continue/build on the story.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Hmm… That’s a big commitment, do I need to read all 3?

              • Steve says:
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                @Grey: Yes and no. You could definitely read the first one, get to the end and think, shit that was a great (terrible) book and be done with it.

                But put it this way, I was pretty stoked when I found out there was a follow-up.

                Similarly with the third, though I didn’t enjoy it quite as much.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Yeah, I could see that… Like Breaking Bad seemed daunting to have to watch 5 seasons but then when I got to the end I wanted more… Damn, I did bring it back to Breaking Bad, didn’t I? Crap…

                  • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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                    @Grey: Nothing wrong with that. Breaking Bad is my favorite TV show of all-time and I have watched at least 12, maybe 13 TV programs in my life.

                    “Justified” was great last night. Not that it is ever bad, of course.

                    The pilot for “The Americans” was good. The second episode airs tonight.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Cougar likes Justified, I’ve seen one episode and haven’t watched another one… It was all right… I don’t think I can fairly judge it though…

        • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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          @Steve: If any of you fellows have not yet read “Glory of Their Times” that is the baseball book to next read.

          • Steve says:
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            @Wallpaper Paterson: That does look good. I really enjoyed Bouton’s Ball Four too.

            • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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              @Steve: Yes, “Ball Four” was good. Jim Brosnan’s first book, “The Long Season”, was the same type of book. It was written better, but did not have any salacious stuff in it. I prefer the Brosnan book over the Bout on book.

  23. DKohn says:
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    Book recommendations:
    Game of Throne books – Obviously hbo has made a series of these but the books should be read. George R.R. Martin is a goddamn wizard.

    And

    The Name of the Wind, By: Patrick Rothfuss – You give this book some time and you won’t put it down.

    I’m a fantasy/sci-fi book reader.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @DKohn: I love ya, but not a huge fantasy/sci-fi guy…

      • DKohn says:
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        @Grey: Haha no doubt, YOLO!

      • Sky

        Sky says:
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        Except for the great and harrowing tale of the Unicorn Wizard.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          I am the Unicorn Wizard.

          • Sky

            Sky says:
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            Poor Rudy…or as we know him, Princess Handjob.

            • Steve Stevenson says:
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              @Sky: this is the funniest thing i’ve read in a long time. Though counterpoint, this is the drunkest i’ve been in a long time.

              • Sky

                Sky says:
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                @Steve Stevenson: If alcohol came with the warning label ‘Caution: Things aren’t as awesome as they seem’, I would not have a wife so hooray for alcohol!

                BTW, in case you don’t/haven’t heard it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gbra-rKXzk4

                BTW, Pt 2: RCL team name is of course Unicorn Wizards

      • I'm Keith Hernandez says:
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        @Grey: It’s more like a tale of War of the Roses then Lord of the Rings.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          That sounds more promising, but Elroy sounds better to me on paper… Virtual paper…

          • Rabbit says:
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            @Grey: @Grey:
            I am not a fantasy/sci-fi guy at all either, but I loved the Game of Thrones books. I couldn’t get through any of the Lord of the Rings/Hobbit books, but I devoured all of the Game of Thrones books. _Highly_ recommended.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              @Rabbit: Really? Doesn’t sound like my cup of tea at all…

              • Rabbit says:
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                @Grey: Trust me on this one. A friend recommended the books, and I was halfway through the first (completely engrossed) when my wife saw the cover and said she was surprised it was a fantasy book because I never read those. In fact, I hadn’t even thought of it as a fantasy book before she made that remark, and I still don’t–it’s much more character-driven and political intrigue. And George R.R. Martin can craft a great narrative. I’d say the style is more like Stephen King’s The Stand–great characters, really engrossing, sometimes gory in a fascinating way.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  @Rabbit: You’re selling me on it, I like that… All right, I might give it a try… I have been meaning to check out the TV show…

                  • I'm Keith Hernandez says:
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                    @Grey:

                    Elroy taught a one week seminar at my school when I was in college. Dude was beyond creepy and got thrown off campus after picke up a small child and threatening to hurt him. Anyhoot his older stuff is great. American Tabloid is a classic but the sequel was awful.

                    The Caine Mutiny is also supposed to be pretty good, it’s next on my list

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Nice, just about to download it now…

  24. Jon says:
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    Hey Grey, my league starts 5 RPs. I’ll be trying to grab at least 3 Donkeycorns and another 1 or 2 MRs if I can’t get 5 closers. 5×5 stats so no holds. Who would be your top non-closers who could help my Ks/ratios?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      All my rankings will be up Friday… MRs will be ranked for their ratio and K help…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yeah, saw that yesterday…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Ha… When he was pulled over, he was belting out Kumbaya…

      • Steve says:
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        @Grey: It all started going bad for him once he got rid of the mustache.

    • Snake Hips says:
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      When the mountains turn blue on the can, that means the beer is cold enough to drink.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        “I hit .374 in the two thousandth year after our Lord…Burp….”

        • Jack Full of Hate says:
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          @Grey: my experience with the religous types, i was an alter boy, is they sure do love their liquor. Its the drugs they despise

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            Todd Helton resembles that remark…

            • Steve says:
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              @Grey: Hey, maybe it’s not such a good thing for a team to play in a stadium sponsored by a beer company, said no one, ever.

              • Grey

                Grey says:
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                Lucky they don’t play in Cocaine Field…

                • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                  @Grey: isn’t that in the Venezuelan leagues?

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
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                    HA!

            • Jack Full of Hate says:
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              @Grey: steve reminds me of the Simpons episode when homer quits drinking and goes to the baseball game is completely bored. Which then reminds me of my favorite comedian, Bill Hicks, who talked about fights at sporting events and how in every instance they are drunk, but then goes on to point out that if they were stoned then it would be impossible for them to fight. And thats why weed is better than beer.

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