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Chipper Jones says he thinks he injured himself while running out of the batter’s box. For a baseball player, this seems like a pretty innocuous place to injure themselves. How exactly do you get injured coming out of a batter’s box? Swing, turn, run. A layperson (you and I) does not come out of a batter’s box, but a similarly innocuous place might be, say, a bathroom. So imagine a buddy told you he hurt himself taking a crap. Previous week, he strained something showering. Couple of weeks ago, while putting unicorn jizz (that’s what I call toothpaste) on his toothbrush, he pulled a metacarpal. Previously, he’s broke a toe changing the TP, popped an eardrum Q-Tipping, sliced off a piece of nose while shaving, got a hernia while toweling off and he got a Grade 3 windburn from a blow dryer. Would you think your friend was a good bet to stay healthy until October? Yeah, me neither. As for Wainwright, this strikes me as really bad luck for his owners (which is me for many teams). He says that he should be fine and there’s no official word. I doubt official word is at all positive. Brace yourself for different options. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday:

Matt Garza/Dioner Navarro – Had a scuffle in the dugout yesterday, causing Garza to get pulled early. Going forward this is a problem for one of my teams because I have both guys. Here’s my plan of action, I’m going to sit Navarro whenever Garza pitches, but in the meantime I’m going to have my corner infielder, Helton, talk to both of them about the importance of the Lord, charity and all of that. Then I’m going to bring Keith Foulke in to talk to both guys because– Wait, this is fantasy baseball, not real. Oh, yeah, then Dioner and Garza will be fine.

Kyle Lohse – 7-2. The “h” in his name is like a precarious Jenga piece.  At some point it will be pulled out, his success will collapse, and all he’ll do for your team is Lose.

Kevin Slowey – 8 ER in 3 IP. Another outing like that and he’s on the short bus back to AAA.

Aaron Harang – I’m trying not to blame that long relief outing still, but…. Ugh. He’s an excellent buy low candidate right now. He is better than his numbers.

Alexei Ramirez – 3-for-4 with a home run. The Alex(e)i with the ‘e’ is showing the Alexi without the ‘e’ they’re only similar in almost names.

Mark Reynolds – Now 6 home runs in 15 games. If you remember from the beginning of the season, Reynolds is what you call streaky.

Nick Swisher – Getting hot. If he’s on your waivers, he’s absolutely worth a pickup. He’s valuable when he’s hot.

Jason Giambi – 14th home run. Much like Ron Jeremy, Giambi sports a ‘stache, swings a big bat, and appears out of shape and over the hill.

Luke Scott – From the files of abandoned outfielders that never produced, here comes another streaky hitter. Hit two home runs yesterday. Might hit three more in the next week. Cust kayin’.

Gavin Floyd – He has a 20/1 K/BB ratio in his last three starts. And his first name is Gavin. What’s not to like?

Wandy Rodriguez – Lost to the Cards, but his line doesn’t look awful. Only allowed four hits and no earned runs. 7 Ks.

Mark Teixeira – PABST has five HRs in the last 11 games. Might have officially turned the corner into a full season stud or FABST? Um… Not sure about this one anymore.

Justin Masterson – That’s it. You got what you got. I wouldn’t start him in his next start.

Curtis Granderson – I was happy to see Granderson hit a HR, but I was even happier to see him bat ninth. That makes a lot more sense than Miggy in the sixth hole.

Ryan Tucker – Must Die. I’d bid maybe a $1 in NL-Only leagues, but that’s about it.

BJ Upton – Two home runs in three days. Maybe this is when the power streak comes on. Then again, it was in Texas and Ramon Vazquez is hitting in Texas.

Vernon Wells – Not only came back early from a wrist injury, but hit a home run yesterday. I’d try and sell him quickfast.

Jose Guillen – Just in case you missed it, he hit 3 HR and 9 RBI over the weekend at Yankee Stadium. That’s now 9 HR and 45 RBI for the year (albeit with 25 R and .262 AVG).  Between this and Milton Bradley’s triple crown run, 2008 is shaping up as the year of the crazy. Jose had a incredibly silent 23/99/.290 last year in Seattle after some troubles in Washington, but he’s worth taking a flier on if he’s hanging around on the FA wire.  BTW, how incredibly dull is Carlos Guillen in comparison to Jose and Ozzie Guillen?  Jose and Ozzie Canseco were pretty nutty too.

  1. wakeNbake says:

    If there is a God, he will let Wainwright’s injury be minor.
    If there is a God, he will let Wainwright’s injury be minor.
    One more time, all together now… (inhale) (exhale)
    If there is a God, he will let Wainwright’s injury be minor.
    May all positive energy be directed at Adam Wainwright’s index finger.

  2. Steve says:

    Would obviously ask this in the forum but am awaiting registration confirmation:

    Glaus or Swisher?

  3. johnson says:

    @wakenbake- as patrick swazye once said as he entered the body of whoopi goldberg to romantically throw a pot with ashton krutchers wife, “ditto.”
    @grey/rudy- what do you i could get for wells? which/any closers or power hitters? and unicorn jizz is classic. with your permission, I would like to use the term liberally.

  4. Hey, lay off Chipper! Most guys his age can get injured picking up the morning paper or changing their Depends.

  5. Grey

    Grey says:

    @johnson: Unicorn jizz is yours to do what you want with.

    re: Wells — I’d try and get a starter like Maine. Especially if you’re sitting on Wainwright when he goes down.

    @JR Ewing: hehe

  6. Zebo says:

    @Grey: I am thinking about dropping Ben Francisco, so should I pick up Alexei Ramirez or Jose Guillen? Who is better for short term? Long term?

  7. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    Ahh Wainwright… In a stroke of brilliance, I added Masterson 10 minutes before the rosters set and sat Wainwright this week (weekly roster moves). Hooray for me.

    @Zebo: I dropped Francisco and added Headley again in hopes of his callup. You are a well run organization, Padres.

    @Grey: I like Tyler Clippard over Ryan Tucker. Slightly better K/9, much better K/BB and he’s two years older.

  8. Grey

    Grey says:

    @IowaCubs: Better than Tucker? Yeah, that could be. But want neither really.

  9. RT says:

    My pitching is an absolute mess. I had Smoltz and Carmona as 1 and 2 going into the season. 18 team league so not much on the waiver wire. Currently have Slowey, Rasner, Marcum, Burnett with Carmona on the DL. Offence is #1 across the board and I have 3 closers…. BUT, nobody will trade for an arm without asking for Hamilton.

    I know it is hard without seeing my full roster, but any ideas/thoughts???

  10. Grey

    Grey says:

    @RT: Why not trade Hamilton for two very solid number two pitchers? His value can’t go much higher and he’s still injury prone.

  11. Do I make this trade in a keeper OPS league: Give Manny; get Giambi and Joba? My outfield/utility right now has Manny, Milton Bradley, Quentin, Burrell, Grady, BJ Upton and Bourne; two of which have to sit on my bench. My pitching is not good and my currently 1bs are Ryan Garko and Carlos Pena.

  12. RT says:


    OF = Bruce, McLouth, Drew, Hamilton, Granderson. Headley stashed. Outside of Drew, OF is young. Seeing above, would you still trade Hamilton? I’ve been dangling Grandy and Mauer (trying to trade based on name value)

  13. Grey

    Grey says:

    @2&Fro: I would do that trade, for sure.

    @RT: I would trade whichever one gave me what I needed. Grandy would be the best one to move, but I could see savvier owners realizing he’s not that great. Mauer would be another one to trade, but again most people are wise to the fact he only gives you average.

    I’d also try and move Bruce, but just get some pitching and trade what you need to. (Within reason, of course.)

  14. nick says:

    what do u think of picking up swisher and droppping votto to fill first since he is eligible in yahoo for a short period? shallow league of 8…votto was on waivers a week ago so dont think he will be picked up

  15. Grey

    Grey says:

    @nick: I wouldn’t make that switch. Votto hasn’t been great in the last week, but he’s out hit Swisher for two months. I’d hold tight for a little while.

  16. wakeNbake says:

    No word on wainwright yet. Im buggin.

  17. wakeNbake says:

    start Edwin @ the Angels tonight?

  18. wakeNbake says:

    Rickie Weeks on DL….. i should change my team name to The Walking Dead

  19. Steve says:

    @Grey: Drop Glaus for Swish? Rudy likes Swish, what say you?

  20. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Yeah, I like that move. But I’d try and drop someone else maybe. As I said above in the post, Swisher should be on a team now.

  21. Steve says:

    I have Atkins so Glaus isn’t a starter for me, but I could drop Chris Perez as I have Mike Gonzalez, Izzy and Zumaya all lurking on the DL.

  22. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: If Glaus isn’t starting, then drop him.

  23. Pingback: Mark Reynolds: The Sultan of Streaks « Imaginary Diamond

  24. wakeNbake says:

    wainwright on 15 day DL…i guess thats not completely horrible

  25. Ross says:

    bruce for pence? thoughts?

  26. Grey

    Grey says:

    @wakeNbake: I hope it’s only 15. I have my worries.

    @Ross: Pence.

  27. wakeNbake says:

    Is Eric Gagne worth holding onto…or has Salomon Torres taken over?

  28. Grey

    Grey says:

    @wakeNbake: You should hold onto him for a little while longer. Need to see what happens when he’s back and healthy.

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