Chad Gaudin shut down the Diamondbacks last night, pitching seven innings, surrendering no runs while giving up just three hits, walking none and striking out eight for his fourth win. Throwing just 92 pitches, he could have easily come out for the eighth but Manager Bruce Bochy opted to go with four relievers instead, because, well that’s the most Bruce Bochy thing ever. Anyway, hello there, Gaudin. Have we met? You say you shook my hand while I was unconscious? Strange, but I’ll allow it. Poor Chad seems like an easy target ever since the news broke that he was arrested for lewdness in Vegas after groping an unconscious woman on a stretcher. That doesn’t sound that…bad….right? Errr. I don’t know the whole story, but perhaps he was trying to resuscitate her? Besides, we all get a case of “the honks” every now and again, amiright, fellas? Despite his inability to keep his hands to his sides, Chad Gaudin has been able to pitch incredibly effectively since stepping into the rotation. Since June 2, Chad has allowed two runs or fewer in six of his seven starts, with a 2.16 ERA and 35/9 K/BB ratio in that span. Gaudin is still under 20% owned in RCL leagues and he gets a good test versus the Reds next week at home. With a 0.55 ERA and 31 strikeouts in 33.0 innings at AT&T Park, Chad Gaudin is definitely worth a pick up in all leagues where you need help with starting pitching, at least until he gets suspended for groping Pablo Sandoval in the locker room.That’s sexual harassment, Panda!
Here’s what else happened last night in fantasy baseball:
Stephen Strasburg 7.0 IP, 7 hits, 2 ER, 6 K. The Strasborg’s only blip was a 2-run HR to Hanley Ramirez, otherwise, he looked great. I’m expecting big things from Stephen in the second half: 200 Ks or 15 wins. One or the other, not both, I’m not delusional or anything. By the way, Mike Trout, Bryce Harper and Yasiel Puig are coming by my house later to play XBox. If you want to come, hit me up and I’ll come pick you up in my Maserati.
Glen Perkins 1.0 IP, K and his 22nd save as he lowers his ERA to 1.77. Glen-Perk-ins! Rob Lowe’s favorite closer! GLEN-PERK-INS! He is LIT-TRALLY my favorite reliever in the cataloged universe. Literally. He is fantastic. He is amazing. And he is great. Glen-Perk-ins!
Hanley Ramirez 1-for-4 and a 2-run HR, his ninth. HanRam is a hot little potato right now, and if you can BUY from an owner who is still mad at him for missing two and a half months, buy quickly. Andre Ethier was the real hero in this one with the go ahead HR in the 9th off Rafael Soriano.
Ricky Nolasco 5.1 IP, 8 hits, 2 ER, 2 K. I’m not the biggest Nolasco fan, but he is still available in about a quarter of RCL leagues, and should probably be owned everywhere now that’s he’s one of the boys in blue. I don’t dislike him, but I’ll let you pick him up.
Jacoby Ellsbury 2-for-3 and his 4th HR. Scott Boras told me Ells is in for a monster second half. And if there’s one person you should always trust, it’s a sports agent.
Jonny Gomes 2-for-4 and his 7th HR. Grey’s BUY and the HitterTron called this one. Can you imagine a Grey/HitterTron hybrid? Think of the Q&As!? You’d have your replies within milliseconds. I picture David from Prometheus with a mustache. He gives expert fantasy advice as he guides you across the galaxy in your giant spaceship. Hey, it’s Stringer Bell with a southern accent! Howdy, Stringer!
Felix Doubront 6.0 IP, 1 ER, 3 hits, 3 BB, 5 K and his 7th win. Grey told you to BUY, and Felix has been outstanding lately and he even got a standing ovation from the Fenway faithful after exiting this one. Considering it was roughly 100 degrees out when this one started that is no small feat, people. Speaking of the heat, holy S is it hot outside. I can’t. I just, can’t do it anymore. You don’t realize how much of a luxury the A/C is until you’re poor and sitting in your 85 degree living room writing a fantasy baseball blog wearing a Nike head band just so the beads of sweat don’t fall into your eyes (it buuuurns!) or god forbid on your keyboard. You know it’s hot when your glasses keep fogging up and you don’t even wear glasses. Anyway, Felix Doubront has now pitched six straight starts with 2 ER or fewer against some tough opponents including Detroit, Anaheim, Toronto and an eight-inning gem vs. Tampa. Felix is still available in over 50% of RCL leagues and holds a 2.28 ERA and 45/20 K/BB ratio since June 1. That’s really good, you guys! He’s got a decent offense behind him too, so the wins should be there. If you’re wondering what else Felix has in his bag of tricks I’d most definitely take a flier on Doubront.
Koji Uehara 1.0 IP, K. With Andrew Bailey done for the season (Surprise!) and the Red Sox scrambling to find bullpen help, looks like this is Koji’s job to run away with, and he is currently sprinting past all the other candidates.
Wil Myers 3-for-5, 4th HR. Hey, let’s jump to conclusions shall we? Tampa is like, the no.1 team in baseball since Myers call-up, or something. It’s like Harper and Puig had a baby with Mike Trout’s sister, and Myers was born. He is good at baseball. Anyway, the Rays were shining bright last night, Ben Zobrist was 3-for-5 with a HR, Kelly Johnson was 2-for-4 with a HR and Evan Longoria hit his 19th, a 440 foot biz-zomb. But hey, pretty much everyone who hits home runs, hit a home run in this game last night. Which brings me to…
Brett Lawrie 1-for-4 with his 6th HR. Grey told you to BUY him, and for serious it’s crazy how quickly some people give up on some people. Lawrie needs to be owned, people! Anyway, about those home runs, Jose Bautista and Edwin Encarnacion homered in this one (because that’s what they do), and Jose Reyes even stole a base! It was just like GM Alex Anthopoulos had envisioned it back in March! Unfortch, David Price held them in check for the most part and the Rays were and continue to be in the zone.
Francisco Liriano 4.1 IP, 5 hits, 5 ER, 4 BB, 4 K. I’m not going to preach like I saw this coming, because it was actually my wise old drifter friend who sells me my psychedelic drugs who told me this would happen. I just relay this information. So yeah, can’t be sure this actually happened or if it was an acid flashback to 2011. Either way I’m starting him next time out.
Eric Young, Jr. 0-for-3 with his 17th SB. Grey told you to BUY, again. If you need speed and EYJ is still on your waiver wire, you are clearly not reading enough Razzball. Pick him up! If you talk to imaginary versions of Grey and Rudy while you eat at the dinner table alone, you are probably reading too much Razzball.
Ike Davis 2-for-4, run. Sometimes I think I sound like a broken record, or a scratched CD, or a music video that’s lagging real bad (close some tabs, bro! Geez!). But we like Ike a lot. Adlai Stevenson? Notsomuch.
Jeremy Hefner 2.0 IP, 10 hits, 8 ER. Philadelphia made ground beef of Hefner (Moo!) lighting him up for 12 runs on 15 hits. Domonic Brown was 3-for-5 with his 24th HR and 2 RBI and Chase Utley and Michael Young homered as well. The Phils ain’t out of this thing yet!
Darin Ruf 2-for-5, 2 runs. Grey told you to BUY, and with Ryan Howard and Ben Revere out, he should play almost everyday. He’s batting .330 with 2 HRs in the past two weeks and has collected a hit in all but one game since being recalled. Deep mixed and NL-Only option if you’re in need of an outfielder, Darin ain’t so rough.
Ervin Santana 7.1 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 1 BB, 6 K. Santana was smooth through 7.1 IP as he held the fearsome Tigers to just 2 hits. Sweet sassy molassy! Alex Gordon scored in the first inning in this one, and then there was no offense to speak of for eight innings. More surprising is the Royals bullpen didn’t blow this one for Big Erv, as Greg Holland continues to be filthy. Way to go, Erv! You deserve it!
Chris Davis 0-for-4, 3 strikeouts. OMFG!!1!!1!! NO! TRADE HIM!!! *Fantasy Pro Tip* Do not trade him.
Wei-Yin Chen 6.1 IP, 8 hits, 1 ER, 2 BB, 3 K. Pretty impressive start versus the Rangers. If it’s hot here, I’m guessing it’s like 150 degrees in Texas and the baseballs float up like balloons, but honestly, the fact that they’re walking around outside is impressive to me. Chen has allowed just 1 ER in both his starts since rejoining the rotation and he gets Kansas City next week. Stream him like it’s your birthday.
Jim Johnson 1.0 IP, 1 hit, K and his 34th save. I feel like he gets a save every day and I’m playing him in H2H every week, even in roto leagues.
Derek Holland 8.0 IP, 6 hits, 3 ER, 6 K. Take a note from the Harper family and start handlebar-ing that mustache, bro. Baseball needs this right now.
Justin Upton 2-for-4, 2 runs. Don’t look now but J-Upside (sigh, that nickname just gets sadder every day) has a three-game hitting streak and is batting .360 with a homer over the past two weeks. For reals, the fantasy universe seems to be at an all-time low on Upton, so if you’re still a believer now’s as good a time as any to buy low.
Chris Johnson 3-for-4, run, RBI. He’s batting .336 this year. That’s better than every other player on the Braves this season! And that should tell you everything you need to know about the Braves’ first half.
Tim Hudson 7.1 IP, 8 hits, 4 ER, 2 BB, 4 K and his 7th win. I’ve always had a soft spot for Timmy Hudson but at this point he’s that pitcher I’m too scared to start against anyone good, and when he does have a good enough match up he’s just so-so. But hey, he got the win, so it’s okay, but my rant remains valid!
Kyle Lohse 6.0 IP, 5 hits, 0 ER, 5 K. Kyle has been quietly reliable to date and he gets the P-Dres next week. If he’s still hanging out on your waiver wire I’d buy him like a rich Wall Streeter with air conditioning.
Juan Francisco 1-for-4 and his 12th HR. Apparently, he’s still hitting home runs.
Carlos Gomez 1-for-4 and his 15th HR. I could have sworn he had at least 20 homers by now. Oh well, 15 is pretty good. I guess. I’ll take it.
Jean Segura 1-for-4, 2 SB. Man oh man, I love me some Mean Jean Segura. If you replaced Ryan Reynolds with Jean Segura, put him in a buddy cop/undead best friends forever comedy with The Dude and Marisa Miller, I might actually go see R.I.P.D. Still probably not though.
Scott Kazmir 6.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 3 BB, 3 K. Grey told you to BUY him for his next couple of starts and Kaz goes out and pitches 6.0 shutout innings. Scott is available almost everywhere and gets a cushy SafeCo match up against the Mariners next week. Pick him up like the trash on a Wednesday.
Chase Headley 2-for-4, RBI. Not one of my favorite players, but a player I could definitely see having a good second half based solely on the fact that he can’t get much worse.
Jake Westbrook 6.1 IP, 8 hits, 2 ER, 3 BB, 1 K. One strikeout!? I know what you’re thinking, get off of my computer screen and out of my RSS feed, but wait, that’s not all! Jake also went 3-for-3 with 2 runs and an RBI to spark the Cards’ 9 runs on 14 hits. Fantasy irrelevant maybe, but now you know! Carlos Martinez gave up 3 ER in just 0.1 IP to spoil Lou Reed and the Cards’ almost perfect day.
Jeff Samardzija 7.1 IP, 4 hits, 3 BB, 1 ER, 6 K. If you started him in this one you have Samardzijas of steel, or maybe not. My fantasy sense is getting something……it’s telling me Z-Marge has a BIG second half. Oh wait, that’d not my ESP, I just butt-dialed Theo Epstein. My bad, Theo! I’ll text you laterz.
Junior Lake 3-for-4, SB. Yes, outside of Clete Thomas, Junior Lake likely has one of the best names in baseball history, so excuse me for getting a little over excited. In 40 AAA games, Junior batted near .300 with 4 HRs and 14 SB. I’d take a flier on him in NL-Only or deep mixed leagues based on his cool name alone. I can just see the name “JUNIOR LAKE” in bright neon lights at Wrigley. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I have picked up players for dumber reasons.
Brad Miller 3-for-5, 2 HR. Grey told you to BUY him and he’s been raving about him for weeks despite underwhelming production so far. Patience is key, people! Fantasy baseball pro tip!* be patient, dummy. Axl Rose said that. Guarantee his ownership percentage skyrockets after this game so go grab him while you can. And that goes for his new best friend Nick Franklin who went 2-for-6 after finishing up the 2014 Farmer’s Almanac.
Brandon Barnes 5-for-5, HR hit for the cycle. Every Astro has his day. This was Brandon’s Day. And the Astros lost 10-7.
Bud Norris 5.2 IP, 6 ER, 4 BB, 2 K. This Bud was not for anybody. So much for helping that trade value.
Tom Wilhelmsen 1.1 IP, 2 hits 1 ER, 2 K and his 20th SV. After Oliver Perez surrendered 2 hits and 1 ER in 0.1 IP, Tom came into this game with two outs in the eighth. It wasn’t pretty but T-Willy knew his fantasy owners needed a save from him and he got it done.
Ian Kennedy 6.0 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, 3 BB, 3 K. Rudy and Stream-O-Nator are high on Kennedy in the second half, and although his peripherals are muy ugly to look at, they do predict some relief for Kennedy in the future. If he’s out there on your wire, I’d take a shot on Kennedy, but not from the grassy knoll. They are watching me.
Jered Weaver 6.2 IP, 4 hits, 0 ER, 4 BB, 8 K. He lowered his ERA to 3.30 and extended his scoreless streak to 24.2 IP against Oakland or something. What can I say, doode hates the A’s. I guess that’s why he spells it Jered. Either way, Weaver should keep it going next week versus the Twinkies.
Albert Pujols 2-for-4, 16th HR. Not to be outdone, Mike Trout hit his 16th jack, too. Then he sang a song and danced a jig, “Everything you can do I can do better. I can do everything better than yooou!” Do you think it’s motivation for Pujols (the former best player in baseball) playing with the one of baseball’s top three (?) talents? This used to be you, Alby. Bigger, stronger, faster. You were the Mike Trout the Catatafish prophesied about. I wonder if it messes with his psyche, or if it motivates him to get to that level again? Hey, this sounds like it’d make a great movie I’ve already seen 10 times over. In the end, they learn more from each other than either of them could have ever imagined. I guess you don’t mess with a winning formula. Keep it up, Albert!
Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below, or you can get at me on twitter @dandemanco. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!