I know, you’re mostly thinking every minute of the day that my number one contribution to the world is my mustache. Number two is my fantasy baseball ‘pertness. Number three though, you don’t know, but I reveal it on today’s podcast. It’s both uncanny and very, very uncanny. Two very’s. Nick’s mind is blown, but will yours? (Yes, it will.) Also, we go over Mark Trumbo and how he will probably hit 178 homers this year; we touch on Tyler Skaggs in the non-sexual way; I explain to the world why I want the Mariners to win the World Series and drop some drool on Taijuan Walker‘s punim. Oh, and Nick can’t believe marijuana is legal in Colorado. Hopefully, he can now pass the Razzball urine test. It’s not your standard urine test, if you test negative, you get fired. You must test positive for some kind of drugs. Anyway, here’s the Razzball Podcast (now with me even more renaissance):

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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There just wasn’t enough time in the preseason for me to show you my RCL team, so I’m putting it in the podcast post. Now, prepare yourself for the most confusing lede paragraph ever. For the podcast, Rudy and I went over some preseason picks for Most Valuable Fantasy Hitter, Pitcher, Rookie of the Year, Fantasy Bust and the player who looks primed to breakout that won’t actually breakout. Finally, Larry Schechter joined Nick to talk about some of his do’s and don’ts to win fantasy leagues. Now, for the RCL league, Rudy and I decided to do something different do this year and have half of our league made up of writers from our site and the other half from friends of other sites. Let’s call it a Family & Friends league; that doesn’t sound derivative of anyone else’s expert fantasy league. (I was gonna call it Friends & Family, but that DID sound derivative.) The Razzball writers joining me were: Rudy, Jay(Wrong), Sky, Tehol, Prospect Scott, Nick the Podcast Host and Scooby. Okay, I made up the Scooby name, but it didn’t sound that out of place, did it? The ‘perts from other sites participating were: Dalton Del Don from Yahoo, Brad Johnson from Fangraphs, Ryan Carey of Mastersball, Paul Singman of Baseball Prospectus and Tim McLeod of RotoRob. The draft went off without a hitch until I opened the draft window and saw Rudy had the first pick. *shakes fist* Ruuuuuudy!!! Anyway, here’s the Razzball Podcast (now with my RCL team recap):

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Rudy and I put aside our differences in ADP and got on the podcast together. After 2 years, Rudy and I both realized we should be on ground lines. I think the sound quality is excellent, except for this weird cackle coming from my connection. I know my laugh doesn’t sound like that! There’s no way! Nick, Rudy and I touch on (non-sexually) Junior Lake, Adam Jones, Sonny Gray and Billy Hamilton. Also, you need a little back story on one of the sections of the podcast. Before I get on the show, Nick asks me if there’s anything specifically I want to talk about. Well, this time I fed him a question about a hotheaded 3rd baseman competing behind Will Middlebrooks — C.T. Tamburello. Oh, and because someone’s gotta pay for JayWrong’s dating life, we also have on the RotoDerby guy. Anyway, here’s the Razzball Podcast (now with Rudy saying bad things about Sonny Gray and me not standing for it):

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Nick and Jay (Wrong) go over what to do before and after your draft.

Everything I touch on can be found in Razzball’s 2014 Draft Kit.  (Specifically, I mentioned the use of the War Room and our Sleepers section.)  Everything Jay (Wrong) touches on is probably illegal, so don’t go there.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Eh’s were wild today as the Canadian mafia got together for the podcast with Nick joined by Jonah Keri. I wonder if Bret “The Hitman” Hart was invited, but got blown off in yet another screw job. I also join the show to discuss the start of Razzball Radio and my luscious manstache. I don’t use any special products for its sheen, just your run-of-the-mill mayonnaise. I do want to take a second and discuss the sacrifices Nick has taken in order to make Razzball Radio a reality. He quit his job, sold his house, moved his family to ‘Murica and jumped into this thing feet first. Why? Because he’s absolutely crazy. Seriously, not one of you is a career counselor to try to screw Nick’s head on straight? The man has lost it. It being everything. Right now, I’m miming the ‘crazy sign’ when you rotate your finger by your ear. But, you know what, we like crazy here at Razzball. Anyway, here’s the Razzball Podcast (now with nostalgic tales of the Expos):

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m not a writer, I’m a talker, but I’m going to summarize the profound undertaking that’s about to occur with words… that I type!  CRAZY, I know.  If that’s not your thing, just watch the above video five more times as penance.  (And share it with your friends 10 times.)

The Razzball Podcast is now Razzball Radio and we’re going daily AND we’re going mobile. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Nick welcomed me back for our first fantasy baseball podcast of 2014. Rudy was at SXSW (SWSX? I always confuse that acronym), so it was Nick and me with me updating Nick on what had happened in the last six months on the fantasy baseball front. He didn’t ask about my wedding, and now that I think about it, he didn’t come to my wedding after being invited. I wonder if Nick is jealous of the Cougs. I’ve love to see that Jell-O wrestling match, is that weird? Could they do it in pudding? Is that less weird? I had to fill in Nick that Matt Kemp wasn’t a 2nd rounder and that Wil Myers and Yasiel Puig are good. I tried to keep the sarcasm to a level 4, but at points I feel myself going into the red. Nick, being Canadian, does know maple syrup, and, for that reason, this podcast got its title and its thick, rich flavor. Also, Nick dropped clues that there’s a big surprise coming next week. Even I don’t know what it is (I know). Anyway, here’s the Razzball Podcast (with me trying to find out if there’s special maple syrup that Canadians keep for themselves):

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The gang got back together for one last podcast of the year (though we might do one in December when players start getting traded and whatnot), and it was a blast (was not a blast)! First, Rudy said this and then I said that and Nick said actually. To think, before Thomas Einstein there was no such thing as podcasts. Or was it Albert Graham Bell? Any the hoo! On today’s podcast, we talked about the best and worst that 2013 had to offer. I mentioned Paul Goldschmidt only a few bazillion times and that wasn’t even half as many times that I mentioned how I beat Rudy in our league. All in all, a fine afternoon spent with old friends. That’s what you should say after you listen to our ramblings. Nick also revealed plans to move to Florida and I revealed plans for my bachelor party that is coming in ten days. I hope to return from Vegas after said trip with a few more mental scars. “Yelp is giving good reviews for a place called The Glory Hole. Says you have to try the breasts.” That’s us planning our next move prior to not remembering anything. On the podcast, we also mention some rookies for next year — Billy Hamilton anyone? — and who we are avoiding for next year. Anyway, here’s the Razzball podcast (now with us waxing poetic):

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So this is the next to last baseball podcast of the regular season. There’s still a big gala podcast at the end of the year. LT usually comes wearing a toga and carrying a chicken. Last year, JB wore a tuxedo and we all pointed and laughed, Smokey brought his sponsor and Nick flew down with a couple of Canadian beavers and a bottle of maple syrup… good times, sticky, but good. But for this episode we wanted to give you something punchy, something current… so what did Nick do? He went and did a 2014 mock draft with JB for all of you people out of it. I wonder where JB drafted Ryan Dempster. I’d give it a listen while I made Josh Hamilton and Jason Heyward voodoo dolls. (Good thing you’re not making an Andrew McCutchen voodoo doll because dreads are real tough to make for a doll; not that I’d know… I hate you, Whoopi Goldberg doll!). So with all your hope gone, Nick decided to shine a teeny, tiny little flashlight (the kind you can clip to your belt buckle) of hope on your otherwise dreary fantasy baseball day. Miggy or Trout at #1? Who’s the first pitcher off the board? Does Paul Goldschmidt go 3rd? Also this week is the FINAL “Play with Rudy from Razzball” contest over at Draft Kings and Nick sold one of his kidneys to get them to put more money in the kitty. He tried to sell his liver, but the black market doctor just laughed at him. After the black market doctor patted his brow, why are shady doctors always sweaty? Put on a fan! Get in the contest, it’s cheaper than chipping in for Nick’s kidney surgery! Anyway, here’s the Razzball Podcast (now with JB subbing in as ‘we’):

Please, blog, may I have some more?