Watch out, Ain’t It Cool News (or AICN, for y’all in the *pinkie to mouth* knowles)!  Is Ain’t It Cool around anymore?  I remember they reviewed one of my short films from a film festival and I thought it was the meow’s cat.

Rudy’s on vacation, so Nick and I go it alone for today’s podcast.  No fear, I have a shizzton of coffee and talk amongst myself like I’m freakin’ Daniel Johnston.  This, sir, is not a podcast.  Yes, it is.  No, it’s not.

Right when the podcast started, Wandy was traded to the Pirates, but we don’t talk about that trade much at all because I got the sense Nick didn’t believe me when I announced it.  We do discuss Jeffrey Loria and his stupid aqua-orange fetish that’s only surpassed by his lies and deceit.

We talk at length about Tim Lincecum and Roy Oswalt.  Then the Brandon Belt subject hits and I lose my cool with Bruce Bochy.  Someone needs to shake some sense into that man’s ginormous head!  Why can’t they just give Belt a shot?

Maybe you heard this one before?  Yeah, of course you did.  As Fran Drescher would tell you, it’s not whining, I’m nasally.  In this very special episode of the Razzball Podcast, we have no guests.  I know, bummer.  Well, I asked you people to bother The Rasmus Girl on Twitter to get her to come on the show, but I think she ignored our pleas.  Ugh, it’s high school all over again.  Rudy does talk about some prospects like Wil Myers, Mike Olt and Danny Hultzen.  He’s also in a pizza coma so the energy is low.  That’s all right, I had six cups of coffee mainlined into my veins prior to the show for both of us.  At one point, I’m levitating from all the coffee I drank yesterday.  But, well, you can’t hear that.  Cause I’m zen, snitches!  Anyway, here’s the Razzball Podcast, now with more levitating:

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Hmm… That title doesn’t sound right.  It’s like when your mom asks you why your bed sheets are all crusty and you’re like, “It’s dried glue.”  Same embarrassment, different therapist to discuss it with.  So Nick, Rudy and myself got together yesterday and did a little pop and chat.  We’re not poppin’ and squatting.  We’re poppin’ and chatting.  It’s more couth.  Hmm… autocorrect is telling me couth isn’t a word.  Well, how do you get uncouth if there’s no couth, smart guy?  Besides, autocorrect isn’t even a word.  So there!  Besides Lincecum, we also talk about some players to buy low and Danny Hultzen.  There’s those ears of yours perking up.  Yeah, we go over what we think Hultzen’s ETA will be and what kind of delicious we’re gonna get.  We basically turn this thing inside out and rip off the tag.  Anyway, here’s the Razzball Podcast, now with dried glue:

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Rudy had to take a flight when we were recording the podcast.  He tried to continue on the plane while it was taxiing, but they asked him to turn off the phone, so he said he was only playing Words With Friends, so they kicked him off the plane, and, unfortunately, there was no reception in the terminal, so it was just me.  It was scary out there by myself!  I did half the podcast with a flashlight held up to my face and tears coming down my face while Nick held a shaky camera up to record it.  We then buried the recording somewhere in the woods and what you are about to hear is what we found when we dug it up the next day.  Good thing we marked the buried recording with a poorly-constructed witch made of twigs!  Also, in this podcast there’s a rap song performed by one of you out there in Razzball Nation.  If you want to download it, go here.  It’s called “Fantasy Baseballing On Your Mom’s Terms.”  Anyway, here’s the Razzball Podcast, now with only one nasally voiced New Jerseyan:

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The question we didn’t ask, “Mr. Proops, take one letter out of your last name and you’ve got street cred — drop a different letter and you have absolutely no cred.  Discuss.”  But we did ask him about comedy and Whose Line Is It Anyway… We basically clarified what everyone already knows –> talking about comedy is the least funny thing in the entire world, but… Greg Proops’s The Smartest Man in the World podcast is funny and should be checked out/downloaded/whatever the kids are saying nowadays.  You know, the 411!  And 411 is something I’m not even sure kids would understand.  As for our podcast with Greg Proops, it’s hoot-larious (I just made that up?  You like it?  Use it, but pay me a nickel every time).  Anyway, here’s the Razzball podcast, Proops we did it again:

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We talk about a bunch of fantasy baseball podcast related thing-a-ma-whosies in today’s fantasy baseball podcast thing-a-ma-whatsie, while I try to work in Hosmer.  Hey, I’m not sweating Hosmer.  In fact, he should be sweating me, because if he doesn’t start hitting we’re gonna have words.  Those words going something like this:  Grey, “Please hit above .250 with power.  Please!  In the name of all that is holy.”  Hosmer, “Who are you?  And why are you hiding under my bed?”  We talk about other things in the podcast for s’s and g’s.  Like Dee Gordon, Luke Scott’s banana chip fetish and how I’ll trade anyone Hosmer for anything.  Anyway, here’s the Razzball Podcast, now with pleas for Hosmer:

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