The Brain Freezes lived up to their names last month. With Jenks, Hoffman, Gregg, Dotel, Lidge, Funklin Morales, Qualls, Perez, Wood and Simon all putting dry ice on your fantasy baseball team and then shattering it. No one ever said owning Brain Freezes would be easy, but does it have to be this hard? Can’t I just Ron Popeil my Jenkses and Hoffmen and let them be? No, of course, I can’t. It would be too easy. I come from the school that if a guy has a chance to earn even one save, I’ll own them. Sometimes this yields 6 saves from Alfredo Simon, other times this yields 12 earned runs in a third of an inning from Will Ohman.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Closers
As I was thinking about Rudy going off and getting married, I needed a good cry, so I burned myself a sad song CD. Rather than try and find 15 songs that all had the same sentiment, I just put Why Can’t I?
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Until we go over the top 20 closers of the 2009 fantasy baseball season, this is our last closer ranking. Too bad, so sad. For those in very deep leagues, I give you the name Matt Lindstrom. Not so your friends now call you that. No, I give it to you as an example of what can be found in September closers. Teams who fall out of the race (Indians), or teams that can’t afford to lose a lot of games (Phils) sometimes flip the script in September. With the Indians, for instance, they may realize watching Wood be meh isn’t as exciting as giving the ball to a potential closer of the future (Chris Perez). Now during the daily roundups and Buy/Sells, I’m sure I’ll mention closers to watch, but keep in mind guys that don’t have the job, but may get the audition. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:
$12 Salads
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?
Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s good to be past the trading deadline. The closers that kept their job feel woobie-safe. Pull down the Murphy bed, Qualls is here to stay! You might be right, random italicized voice. Don’t forget, closers still find a way to lose their job. In the past week, Downs is down, Jenks looks jenky, Frank-Frank is a baby sneeze away from another stint on the DL, I fully expect Lindstrom to get back in the closer picture within two weeks and Nathan seems about as safe as they come and yet, he’s still just a closer. Look at the ground with your forward facing eyes and put some drops in the eyes in the back of your head. In other words, don’t settle in. Sleep is the cousin of death. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:
$12 Salads
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?
Please, blog, may I have some more?
In this month’s closer look, let’s discuss trading for closers. Now before people think my battleship has sunk, I’m not saying to pay top dollar for closers. But with us heading into July, it should be pretty clear how badly you need saves. Luckily, saves are one of the categories (steals are another) where you can make up ground quickfast. If you’re ten or more saves behind a pack of people and can gain three or more points with an additional closer or two, then you should be thinking about trading for a couple. I’d look to trade one player from your strengths for two closers. Think Shields for two donkey-corns. Or a donkey-corn and a brain freeze. It really depends on your strengths and weaknesses. And since saves do come in bunches, if you’re finding yourself picking up plenty of ground in saves, then in August, you can trade away a closer or two for a different piece. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:
$12 Salads
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?
Please, blog, may I have some more?
In this month’s closer look, let’s discuss the value of middle relievers. I’m a big Mr. B. Depending on the team, I have various combinations of MRs. On one team, I have C.J. Wilson still. (Notched a Save and a Win in a doubleheader the other day — natch!) On another team, I’m rocking Dan Meyer. On another, Rafael Soriano. Besides having a guy that could take over the closing duties, middle relievers help lower your starters’ ratios. Mark DiFelice + James Shields = 7-4/3.01/1.15/74 or Jake Peavy, 5-5/3.67/1.13/84. That’s right, the Frankenpitcher of Jark DiShields is beating the pure breed Jake Peavy. So how’s dem apples? Delicious! Now in some cases, you just can’t hold a MR. Whether you’re besieged by injuries, need to handcuff one of your closers or need a bench hitter, sometimes it’s just not feasible. As much as I like MRs, they are invariably the first ones I drop on my teams when I need help somewhere else. Luckily, there’s always one available on waivers. If it’s not Jark DiShields, you can own Kiko Garzero or C.J.
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In this month’s closer look, let’s discuss some closer trading strategy. As I mentioned the other day, I traded Street and some other closer for Haren. This might’ve put me at a disadvantage for saves. Now you’re probably thinking what the eff? This doode doesn’t even know who he traded or if it put his team at a disadvantage for saves. Well, that’s the whole point. Saves are the easiest commodity to acquire on waivers. Just last month, 10 closers lost their jobs, even if just temporarily. 10 out of 30 closers. So, frankly, I don’t care if I’m trading Qualls, Bell or schmohawk closer behind door number 3. Are some of these guys more reliable than others? Sure, but that doesn’t mean Jenks couldn’t have a meltdown tomorrow. They’re just closers. As for not knowing if I’m at a disadvantage, it’s real early and plenty more saves will come into the league. Not that many more Harens are coming into the league. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:
$12 Salads
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?
Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s time to take our beginning of the month look at all the major league closers. Before we get to that, I want to clear up a potential misconception. Donkey-corns are not the only closers I’ll draft for my 2009 fantasy team. I’ll more than happily draft closers from the Brain Freeze category. Cause, see, I’m a save vulture. It is what it is. I’ll take saves from anywhere, except probably from the $12 Salad category. I think those guys are great. I just don’t believe in paying for saves. I said “probably” because at the right draft spot, everyone’s worth looking at it. Some of these closing jobs aren’t finalized just yet. That wouldn’t stop me from grabbing both guys if I had room and the price were right. Just because everyone thinks Brandon Lyon should be the closer doesn’t mean Fernando Rodney has no place on a team until Leyland makes a formal announcement. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your 2009 fantasy baseball draft, as of right now:
$12 Salads
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yes, sometimes I try and make the titles double entrendres just so we get traffic from really bizarre places. Now if I were to mention the Mets are now throwing a Rod and a Putz, our traffic would skew even further.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
K-Rod wasn’t the top closer according to our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater and he’s not the number one closer according to our 2009 Fantasy Baseball Projections — it’s called Point Shares, ya’ll! The title of top closer goes to Mariano Rivera and Jonathan Papelbon, respectively.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
