Greetings playas and playettes. Yes, I’m proud to announce I have the most female readers in the sports industry other than John Clayton. You wouldn’t know by looking upon him, but “Clay-bay-bay’s” Cod piece makes Dirk Diggler’s look like a popcorn shrimp in comparison. What a savage! Anyway, I’ve spent most of my day tanning, doing squat thrusts, and preparing myself for the first round of the NFL draft so it’s needless to say I was thinking about paging Grey with a 911 alert and telling him I OD’D on Viagra and had to go to the hospital, making my post for tomorrow impossible. I then came to my senses once I remembered I have two Russian mail-order brides locked in my basement and I probably will OD on Viagra soon, so better to get this post in. I’m getting my red-eye bleached tomorrow for a major shoot in Taiwan so let’s jump straight into the players who have impressed me mightily and the scrubs who make me wish I had the podcast guy’s roster. That was obviously a joke as I would never take the roadkill stashed on Capozzi’s team. Let’s do this!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I don’t have enough spam, give me the Razzball email newsletter!

Greeting all, and welcome to another thrilling post centered on points leagues. Never forget the fact that points leagues’ stats almost always translate into Roto success as well so don’t feel blackballed or ashamed for reading these posts. You don’t have to conceal it from your Roto playing friends anymore. There are millions of Roto players trapped in the proverbial closet who are dying to announce their true desires and join points leagues. Your parents and close friends may know, but it’s time to let the whole world in on the secret. I love points leagues for the fact we don’t have to roster the likes of Taylor Clippard or Dave Robertson, and again I ask you to now to come out the closet and join the fastest growing type of fantasy baseball league. Given Sky’s rapaciousness for adding hot young studs on the waiver wire, I’d say he’s a prime candidate to be Razzball’s second openly points league playing writer. It’s Ok SKY!!! Let it be known, young stallion. You were meant for oh so much more than a 7th place finish in Roto scoring. Before I get carried away (if that didn’t already happen) let’s move on to the girth of what these posts are truly about: The playas.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Greetings all! Tis I, Tehol Beddict, ready and willing to service you in any way you desire, though the main goal here is to help you with fantasy baseball. I am a man who has worn many a hat. You may know me as the fantasy football guru who dominated the Razzball writers league, or as the fantasy basketball writer who was almost gang raped by she males in Bora Bora, or possibly even seen my man-kini photo spreads in countless magazines and websites throughout the years. It is a pleasure to serve you and it’s a privilege to write for the greatest fantasy sports website known to man. Let’s jump into the post as I’m going in and out of consciousness due to the fact I’ve been starving myself in preparing for an audition at Playgirl.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m sure you remember the scene from the seemingly forgotten classic City Slickers when Curly, played masterfully by the legendary Jack Palance, tells Billy Crystal’s character, Mitch, about that “one thing” I could have sworn when watching the other day, that he was referring to fantasy baseball, because as we well know, fantasy baseball IS LIFE!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Feeling extremely sick today. Should I call Grey and tell him I just can’t complete the task at hand? Should I tell him I’m worried the medication will lead to a sloppy, uninteresting post? How could I ever in all my wildest dreams hope of topping last week’s Naked Gun post, especially caught in this horrible sickness.

Please, blog, may I have some more?