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Welcome to another season of the Razzball Commentator Leagues! After typing that, I now know why we abbreviate that shiitake mushroom. I’m out of breath and burned 89 calories just from typing that out, and that doesn’t even include trying to figure how I spelled ‘Commentator’ wrong. Apparently I added three m’s too many. So many m’s and no M&M’s! Such is life, amiright? Not really, because that makes no sense whatsoever. Anyhow, let’s get to your first question. No, I’m not VinWins. I’m not even VinLoses. Who, interesting story, is actually the cousin of Vin’s mother’s brother’s second cousin’s friend of a friend. TOO INTERESTING. Regardless, I’m Jay, and I’m here to narrate the most important fantasy story out there this season, and that is the story of YOUR 2014 RCL…

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I don’t have enough spam, give me the Razzball email newsletter!

Last year, I played in my first 15-team NFBC league – a 50-round ‘slow’ draft format where you cannot add any players via free agency or trades. You can only promote players to (and demote players from) your starting roster of 2C/1B/2B/SS/3B/5 OF/CI/MI/UTIL/9 P on Mondays with an additional Friday switch for hitters only.

After playing this format for a year, I think it is the perfect yang for the hyper-frenetic yin that is the Razzball Commenter League format (for sign-ups). I love streaming but there is also something satisfying about winning purely on out-drafting everyone. I like the format enough that we are considering sponsoring a league (or leagues) if there is enough demand from Razzball commenters.

So if you are interested, please enter your e-mail address below. (Note: It’s $150) I will definitely play in one of the leagues – can’t speak for any of the other writers just yet.

NOTE: THIS IS SEPARATE FROM THE RAZZBALL COMMENTER LEAGUE. THAT FORMAT/RULES (12 Team MLB) WILL STAY THE SAME AS LAST YEAR. THERE’S SIGNUPS FOR THAT.

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You know what would be really cool? If you could join a free fantasy baseball league that was against, like, 600 other fantasy baseball teams. But not a 600-person league, where people are trying to figure out who the back-up third baseman is on the Single-A Astros affiliate, Corpus Christi Amscrayers. No, this is a 12-person league designed so you compete against eleven other people in your league, then 60 other leagues of twelve. That would be cool. Oh, wait, we’ve done that. It’s called the Razzball Commenter Leagues, and they’re back, and you don’t even have to be a commenter to join it! For a limited time only, get your loved one a fantasy baseball league! That’s right, your hearts go pitter-patter or you’re dead on the inside (my condolences). Since back in June when you abandoned your fantasy baseball team because it was totally sucking and you returned to your cubbyhole of leftover Chinese food and Teddy Grahams, you’ve longed for this day. As Bob Marley sang, this is your redemption song, mon. Or womon, for our four girl readers. It’s time again to join some fantasy baseball leagues. Before you close all of your extraneous porn windows and rush to sign up, let’s explain how these fantasy baseball leagues are going to work. We’re going to have a bunch of leagues and crown a winner from each, then we’re going to crown ONE winner from all of the winners. We will be crowning the winner by taking each team’s points and multiplying it against a ‘league competitiveness factor.’ If you want to see how it worked last year, go here. So we’re going to fill up as many fantasy leagues as we can for the next seven weeks. Each fantasy baseball league will be a mixed league, 12 team, snake draft, roto, 5×5, 5 OFs, one Middle Infielder, one Corner Infielder, one Utility, 9 pitchers, 20 game eligibility, 180 Games Started max, 1000 IP minimum. Unlike previous years, we will be going with TWO DL SLOTS. The only things you need to change from the default is the 180 Games Started and the TWO DL SLOTS. Please be vigilant about having the exact same league rules and setup as everyone else. The lineup is also known as: C/1B/2B/SS/3B/CI/MI/5 OF/UTIL/9 P/3 BENCH/2 DL with 180 Games Started and 1000 IP minimum. The fantasy leagues will be played in ESPN and they will be free to join.

We’re going to start with twenty-one leagues of 12 and see how we do from there. To join a league… Sorry, again for the people in the back of the room:

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FantasyRazzballFantasy Razzball is the game where the goal is to manage the worst fantasy baseball team possible. You hope to find terrible players who don’t get sent to the minors.

As in the RCL, a team’s points are multiplied by the League Competitive Index. The LCI is based on the total points of the top 8 teams per league. The overall standings can be found below. Points are credited as follows:

Hitters (AB = +2, H = -3, R = -4, HR = -6, RBI = -4, K = +2)

Pitchers (IP = -1, HR = +4, L = +8, K = -1, ER = +1.5, H+BB = +1).

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Mauledbypandas’ team gained 3 points the final week in our league, Cracking The WHIP, to finish 4.6 ahead of three teams – Waco Night Terrors (Imposing Sea Creatures), the remains of the bay (Beef SAGNOF!), and Retro Vertigo (ECFBL). Josh Hamilton’s Fake Stache led the overall standings early, but stumbled in the middle of the season, dropping as low as 15th on July 22nd. They then started the climb back to the top, gaining 12 spots in 3 weeks to reach third place on August 12th. They moved up to second the next week, and were either first or 2nd the rest of the way. Congratulations on an outstanding season!

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Mauledbypandas has a 2.5-point lead entering the final week of the season. It’s still a wide open battle, with 10 teams within 5-and-a-half points of Josh Hamilton’s Fake Stache. Hope you have the right moves left in you! Should be a fun week. Good luck, everyone!

Check out the Master Standings (you can also access them via the Leagues menu up top) to see where your team ranks in comparison to the other 767 teams through Sunday. The page now includes sortable stats.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

FantasyRazzballFantasy Razzball is the game where the goal is to manage the worst fantasy baseball team possible. You hope to find terrible players who don’t get sent to the minors.

As in the RCL, a team’s points are multiplied by the League Competitive Index. The LCI is based on the total points of the top 8 teams per league. The overall standings can be found below. Points are credited as follows:

Hitters (AB = +2, H = -3, R = -4, HR = -6, RBI = -4, K = +2)

Pitchers (IP = -1, HR = +4, L = +8, K = -1, ER = +1.5, H+BB = +1).

You can find links to the six Fantasy Razzball leagues (along with the 64 RCLs) here.

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After two weeks in second place, mauledbypandas is back on top. Josh Hamilton’s Fake Stache hit .270 with 11 home runs, 51 RBI, 45 runs, and 10 steals this week. They didn’t get much from Miguel Cabrera, but Hunter Pence picked up the slack. It looks like we’re heading for the most exciting final two weeks in Razzball Commenter League history. Things can change drastically as only 6-and-a-half points separate the top 15.

Check out the Master Standings (you can also access them via the Leagues menu up top) to see where your team ranks in comparison to the other 767 teams through Sunday. The page now includes sortable stats.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Colicky Fuddruckers jumped three spots to become the third different overall leader in the last three weeks. They are running away with the title in Razz Canada, a league which includes Razzball writer Mike and yours truly. The Fuddruckers had the 6th pick in the draft and took Andrew McCutchen, followed by Adam Jones, Ryan Zimmerman, and B.J. Upton. 97 RBI from 5th round pick Allen Craig helped make up for those 3rd and 4th picks, as did the acquisition of Edwin Encarnacion for 7th and 8th picks Jonathan Papelbon and Jordan Zimmermann. With three weeks to go, the battle is heating up!

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A Hill O’ Beans bounced back and regained top spot after just a week in second. My Mustache Has a Mustache hit .321 this week with 12 home runs and 10 steals, while on the pitching side they recorded excellent ratios with a 2.12 ERA and 1.09 WHIP. Mauledbypandas improved by 8-tenths of a point, but it wasn’t enough to hold on to first place. Should be a fun battle the final four weeks with several other teams close enough to challenge for the championship.

Check out the Master Standings (you can also access them via the Leagues menu up top) to see where your team ranks in comparison to the other 767 teams through Sunday. The page now includes sortable stats.

Please, blog, may I have some more?