Scott White from CBS hosted this AL-Only draft that started at 10 AM PST, but started around 1 PM PST for me because I refused to draft anyone for the price they were going. Instead of drafting, I watched my favorite cooking show, Celebrity Chef Mr. Hamiham. He’s the only one I know that makes a sandwich like my Eastern European nanny, Viktoria. Everyone that knows anything about sandwich preparation knows there’s no sandwich before adding the white cabbage. Rudy was in Tampa (slogan: We’re no San Diego, but just as classy), so I went it alone with this draft. All the mistakes (none!) and acclaim (some!) can fall fully on my shoulders. I drafted this on February 18th, so don’t say so-and-so may not make the rotation/lineup/team or is now injured, why did you draft him? I drafted him because at the time it seemed like a smart move. Okay, okay, at no point does it seem like a smart move to draft Kurt Suzuki. Point taken. It’s a 12-team AL-Only league and I drafted using that thing I linked to under the link-ma-whosie — seamless linking! Anyway, here’s my 2014 fantasy baseball AL-Only team:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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This year we went to 15 teams because Rudy and I had a fight and he hates me and I’m typing this through tears while listening to Peabo Bryson. Nah, Rudy wanted to draft his own team, separate from me. Not sure why — *smells armpits* — can’t be that. To see Rudy’s mixed league draft breakdown, click that link-a-ma-jiggie. He goes over the fact that Pianowski drafted no starters and Dalton Del Don (best ‘pert name after yours truly) drafted, like, ten top starters. It’s probably collusion of some sort, but thinking makes my head hurt, so I’ll just assume they came up with separate strategies, ran said strategies by Funston and Funston nodded very slowly, indicating he either approved Godfather-style or he was on roofies administered by Brad Evans. These questions are not for me to wonder why, just do or die, or whatever that cliche is. Anyway, here’s my 15-team Yahoo fantasy baseball team with some thoughts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I typically keep these expert league draft write-ups short but I think this year’s Yahoo! Friends & Family draft was an interesting draft to both:  1) Share some of my in-draft thinking and 2) Go off on tangents based on a couple of interesting draft gambits.   So apologies in advance for the Tolstoyan/Grantlandian length of this post.

Fantasy baseball draft rooms feel like poker tables.  Now I do not play a lot of poker but, for analogy’s sake, I’ll say there are two types of tables when you play with good players:  1) Strong but predictable play with occasional risks/bluffs and 2) Unpredictable but strong play that takes you out of your comfort zone.

Most leagues we play in fall under the former for 15-team mixed snake drafts (AL/NL-only auctions a whole different beast).  There really was not a moment in this year’s 15-team mixed LABR and KFFL drafts where I felt uncomfortable.  I had a general strategy, my values, and the NFBC ADPs. All peachy.  I am not saying I dominated those drafts – just that I felt pretty comfortable.  It did not hurt that I picked 8th in both those drafts so I did not have to worry as much about position runs.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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So, we’re running on fumes over here at RCL Update Central. We’ve talked about the RazzBALLiest and Razz, um, ball-ee-least?? selections. At least I think that’s what it was about. Who knows with such things. Then, naturally, we moved to what Clint Eastwood thought of your drafts. Thankfully there were no leagues named ‘Empty Chair’. And now that the season has officially started (at least down under), (that’s what she said btw…), I’m here to cap things off with something I would call comfort food for the mind. And that’s a Star Trek themed post. But that’s not all you get in this post. SAY WHAT? We have J-FOH in a supporting role to bring some Star Wars into this. Because a post like this could always use more sci-fi pew pew. And of course he would be the one to have undying love for a franchise that’s about to blugdeon us to death for at least ten more years. All so George Lucas’ chin can eat more cats.

Regardless, I’m not quite sure how this is going to work, and I’m not quite sure what’s going to happen, but if the picture above and the empty Markers Mark bottle to my left is any indication, it’s that I need fried food immediately. Also, you should probably set your phasers onto the highest stun setting. Because when we look at my randomly selected RCL drafts, you will get stunned. See what I did there? No, I’m seriously asking if you can see what I typed… everything is so freaking blurry…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So, I took part in one of those 15-team NFBC drafts that Rudy and all the cool kids were talking about-slash-doing. What a snoozefest! I mean, it was fun, but I fell asleep literally 19 times during it. Granted, it lasted for 19 days, so if I didn’t fall asleep 19 times, I would’ve needed trucker speed, but still. Speaking of which, I have much respect for truckers. They’re driving all day and they have to wear the stupidest hats. Any the hoo! This draft was one part fresh, two parts ‘to def’ and some random Razzballers took part, so maybe we can chat in the comments — I have no friends! We can’t talk about trades, because there are none. There’s also no waivers. This was a 15-team league that went 50 rounds deep. What you draft is what you have. No backsies, no foolsies. Anyway, here’s my 15-team NFBC team and some thoughts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s everyone’s favorite ‘pert with everyone’s favorite self-flagellating exercise — Hey, look at my team! The ‘Hey, look at my team!’ exercise can go one of two ways. We can either agree that my team is awesome. Or you can combat the ‘Hey, look at my team!’ exercise with your own ‘Hey, look at my team!’ exercise. I’m guessing a lot of you will opt for the second, since the ‘Hey, look at my team!’ exercise seems to go over best from the first person. One word about the “Hey, look at my team!” exercise. It works best if you tell me how many teams are in your league and arrange your team as I have done in this post. Now, prior to you looking at my team, besieging your gut with warm cozies, I first should point out this is a 5×5, 15 team league with OBP subbed in for average because fantasy baseball ‘perts like to make things complicated and turn off 85% of their readers. So, before you say Dan Uggla is a terrible pick, he’s more of a so-so pick. So-so there! Anyway, here’s my 2014 Tout Wars team:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly. AKA, yo momma. ICE BURN.

Hey, really quick, did you hear the news? Or, I guess in this case, read the news? Razzball has a radio now! AND we’re going on tour this August. That’s right, Nick the Podcast Host and I will be traveling to every NFL city to have a beer with you! Click here for the details.

So here we are, another week gone by, another wave of drafts. And for this set, we’ll be playing a game. And that game is taking a look at your leagues and deciding which picks were good, which were bad, and which were ugly. Don’t take it personally though, as I’m sure you could find my team’s and pick apart my decision making process. Really, there is no perfect draft. ONLY PERFECT BOOBS. Just kidding. They’re all perfect. Honestly, this post is really just a vehicle to mention Clint Eastwood. The spaghetti western version. Not that having a stroke at the Republican convention version. So let’s take a look at some leagues that drafted this past week, in no particular order, and pick them apart. And don’t worry, I’m plenty hard on myself. That’s what she said. Wait, what?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It started with a twitter murmur. Hey Sky, you up to do a draft? Well, I say, I’m already in five leagues. What day? What is the set up? Are pants mandatory or optional? But of course with only 140 characters available, I had to abbreviate to ‘In 5. Day? Set Up? Pants? Lulz’. I don’t know why I said ‘Lulz’. I think it’s required to put in one text word into every tweet you send out or you get your account suspended. Ef you @Seaworld! Sorry, inside joke. Let’s move along. Suffice to say, over a long course of contact and back and forth I eventually joined into the fray that is The League Of Street Cred thrown together by Ryan Hodge of Fantasy Insiders. The title tells you exactly what you get by winning this league. Street Cred. That’s right, no money involved, unless Street Cred has an exchange rate. I’m assuming mine is worth one Bitcoin at this point…all this to say, the evite was accepted and I hopped in and drafted with this cadre of the fantasy expert macabre below…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I was fortunate enough to be invited to this year in KFFL’s Fantasy Baseball Analysis Draft (which leads to a BAD acronym).  It has historically been a 12-team mixed snake draft league but has now been expanded to 15 teams.

Some drafts require a lot of prep time – this one had the prep time of a TV dinner.  It came right on the heels of LABR which follows the same format.  Then my pals at KFFL (Nick Minnix and Tim Heaney) were nice enough to ‘randomly’ assign me the same pick (#8) I had in LABR.  Sweet.

My strategy going into the draft was similar to LABR – draft 9+ SPs, be AVG-conscious, get two top 15 closers, try to nab one of the speedy/solid AVG MIs, and anticipate and/or dodge position runs.  There were a couple of post-LABR draft learnings I incorporated:

We’ve got a crazy post ahead of us, so let’s get started. But before we do, AHHH, pit stop already? Seriously, I just want to thank all of the commissioners. You have taken my goal of 75 RCL’s and shattered it, like those bad guys in Superman II. I’d also like to thank everyone who joined a league, because without you, there would be no us. And you plus me equals us. Because, wait for it… wait for it… I know my calculus. ALL THE POINTS. I want you to know that it really is important to me. There’s no money, no fame, no female boobs in it for us. Only a sense of community, and, well, that’s why we do this. So seriously, I love you. Let’s date. (Oh, and if you still want to join a RCL, there are still spots open! Just scroll to the bottom to get in on some RCL fun.)

So yeah, we didn’t just have the writer’s draft. We had a bunch of drafts. So let’s go over some of those in random ways before we go over whatever you want to call what us writer’s did. I’d call it sexual chocolate, but you might call it flailing loins. Something like that. Okay, whew, pit stop over. Now we can get started…

Please, blog, may I have some more?