Well, another fantasy baseball season brings another opportunity to waste a roster spot on Chase Headley, and SPOILER ALERT, I did not disappoint. And yes, if you had to know, I was also able to draft R.A. Dickey… which would bode very well for me if this were a 20-team league format. But yeah, it’s not. It’s a 12-team auction format with two catchers and seven reserve spots. But you know me when it comes to Headley and Dickey. [Insert sexual innuendo joke here.] But yeah, this should turn out well! Regardless, when an invitation for an expert league pops up in my general direction, I usually verify with Grey to check if it’s some kind of mistake. If it wasn’t, I accept the invitation in a very vigorous fashion. Vigorous, like your mother. Whatever you think of the nomenclature (I prefer to be called a “fantasy writer”, not a “fantasy expert”), it’s difficult not to try-hard in a league that has such recognizable names as Scott White, Adam Aizer, Chris Towers, and Al Melchior. And boy did I try-hard… [Instert another sexual innuendo joke here.] But was it good enough? Only time will tell. And alcohol. A heavy regiment of alcohol. (Note: It doesn’t really tell you anything, but I like alcohol. So whatever.) Here’s the team:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Everything black was white and white was black. Everything up was down and down was up. I was a Girl Scout and the only cookies I could sell were Rah-Rah Raisins and I couldn’t give away the Samoas. I was an Asian in NASCAR. I was a five-foot, six-and-a-half-inch white boy that could hoop. (Actually, that last one is true.) I zagged when I usually zigged! And it felt okay. I didn’t wake in a puddle of sweat like I was a puppet in the Land of Confusion video, wondering what I had done. I didn’t burn all my old draft manifestos like I was trying to escape Olivia Pope from finding me out. I just went at it a little different. This league is a 15-teamer, OBP league, so I used Rudy’s rankings. I still knew which players I liked and didn’t like, but I decided to lean on Rudy, which makes for an interesting draft when Rudy was using the same rankings. For unstints, when Matt Holliday sat at the top of my board for two rounds, I knew Rudy was going to draft him. When Ian Kennedy sat at the top of my board, I knew Rudy was going to Marilyn Monroe that Kennedy. Though, I also knew if I wanted a guy sitting at the top of my board, I needed to act before Rudy. Okay, you’re primed, let’s start coating your mind with knowledge. (BTW, Our Razzball leagues are signing up still. Go there and sign up now!) Anyway, here’s the 2015 Tout Wars draft and my thoughts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You’re right, I’ve probably been talking about it too much. The fact that you have a lovely mother. Also, I’m been going on ad nauseam with the fact that we need more commissioners. Because we need stuff commissioned folks. But there’s a reason for this, and that’s because I love our RCLs. I’ve waxed poetic about this before, but I love Razzball. I love Grey. I love Sky. Tehol? Not so much. But you get the point. I believe in the Razzball product, and by default, that means I love you, the community. And, of course, your mothers. We’re not trying to reinvent the wheel here, but obviously we always try to provide an entertaining vehicle for fantasy analysis. But more importantly, and here it comes again (that’s what she never says), we also prioritize community moreso than any other fantasy sports site out there. We want to engage with you, the readers on everything. And that goes to the RCLs…it gives everyone a chance to play with everyone else. Contributors, readers, hobo’s, you name it. And that’s why I love our RCLs, and that’s why you should love being a commissioner. Note to self: Sales and marketing may be a worthy pursuit. However, we just didn’t come here to talk about creating a commission full of commissioners to commish commishenable (totally a word) leagues. (Instructions on how to create a league are below the jump.) No, we also came here to take a look at the new set of RCL drafts that have taken place, where profuse praise will be given. Haha, not really. There’s bound to be a Tehol team there…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I thought a fair amount about what the topic should be of my second article, and while I would have been happy to continue waxing theoretically about what a fantasy baseball bot might look like, I figure people probably want to see some actual code or at the very least pseudo-code. You’ll settle for some pseudo-code, right? Great.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We are almost there folks. Where is there? Draft time. BUT EVERYONE JUST HOLD UP FOR A SECOND. Remember that one time when I set 100 RCL’s as my personal goal, and therefore, by mitosis, or photosynthesis, or osmosis, or dry-humping, it became your personal goal? Yeah. In this regard, we are not almost there. I mean, technically we are, only 25 more leagues… but drafts are right around the corner. It’s gonna be close. WE’RE TOO CLOSE MAN. Just 25 more commissioners… look, how about this… if you go commish a league right now (yes, we can totally have more than 100, in fact, I prefer it), I promise to go over some of the leagues that have drafted already. Sure, that’s something I was going to do anyways, but this comes with free shipping and handling. Because boy do I know how to handle it. Whatever that means. But sure, even if you don’t commish a league, you can still continue reading after the jump… I can’t stop you, per say. But I promise you there will be guilt. I WILL MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A CATHOLIC. If you’re already Catholic, well, you have enough guilt to deal with, so yeah. Take that, I guess.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This draft was by Yours Trudy. Never understood that, Yours Trudy. Who is this Trudy that everyone is talking about? No, no, I’m not changing the subject before even embarking on the subject simply because I’m not happy with my team. How dare you j’accuse Yours Trudy of that! So, yesterday, on the Not-the-Ides of February, Grey Albright, the Fantasy Master Lothario (don’t abbreviate it!) took part in a 12-team NL-Only draft that was commissioned by Scott White of CBS Fantasy. You know, CBS, they brought you such head-scratchers as Viva Laughlin and Travis d’Arnaud as a top 60 overall pick. In fact, I razzed one of the CBS ‘perts about his d’Arnaud love in the beginning of the draft, then the room nominated d’Arnaud and the CBS ‘pert didn’t draft him. I think I might’ve shamed too hard. *shrugs* C’est la. This league is deep so hold onto ye old hat. (If you want a shallower league, play against me and 1,000 of your closest buddies in the Razzball Commenter Leagues.) Anyway, here’s my 12-team NL-Only team and some thoughts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Fellow RCL’ers, it’s your pre-narrator for the pre-RCL 2015 season, back to bring you into the fold for everything RCL. That’s pre, I guess. And also type RCL and pre as many times as possible. Needs more RCL and pre if you ask me. Anyhow, mark this day in your calender folks. It is a day which will (probably not) live in infamy. It is a day where we will chase history for the good of all mankind. Are we curing cancer? No. Solving world hunger? I just ate a Kit-Kat, so we might have some more work to do on that front. Are we creating a foundation to rescue stray animals? Ef no! We’re doing something much-much more important (not really). Today, I am making it our personal goal to create at least 100 RCL leagues for the 2015 Fantasy Baseball Season. Are we close? Darn straight we are. Right now, we are at 65 RCL leagues, and I know we can do this. Together. As one. HOLD ME.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

uncle_grey

Welcome to another season of the Razzball Commenter Leagues! After typing that, I now know why we abbreviate that shiitake mushroom. I’m out of breath and burned 89 calories just from typing that out, and that doesn’t even include realising that I always spelled it ‘Commentator’. Apparently, I added more vowels than I needed.  Anyhow, let’s get to your first question. No, I’m not J-FOH. He’ll be around during the season for all of your RCL needs. And no, I’m not even VinWins, who will be chiming in from time to time and providing us with a whole bunch of numbers because math is hard. Heck, I’m not even VinLoses, who, interesting story, is actually the cousin of Vin’s mother’s brother’s second cousin’s friend of a friend. TOO INTERESTING. Regardless, I’m Jay, and I’m here to help launch the most important fantasy story out there this season, and that is the story of YOUR 2015 Razzball Commenter League…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2015 draft season has begun (at least for me)! The 2015 15-team mixed LABR draft took place on Friday, February 10th – nearly 2 months before the start of the regular season. Almost 60 full days where I can read the player news and play injury bingo (Jonathan Lucroy – woo-hoo, not on my board!).

This was a snake draft with standard 5×5 roto scoring. See here for the draft results and my illustrious leaguemates. I can say with a fair amount of certainty that no more than 2 of these people has ever killed a drifter.

Please, blog, may I have some more?