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As you can see I didn’t go with the traditional dong GIF. Instead, I went with the look of horror on the ladies face when you tell them you play fantasy baseball GIF. You could be cool and say “fantasy football: because that’s what the cool kids do”. Or so I hear. Speaking of fantasy football, have you been following Jay on the football side? Wait a minute, why am I making a shameless plug for the football side? I’m talking about dongs and that is Razzball baseball. Don’t worry, I have a GIF of the Donger. Who would I be to deny you guys… and girls of some dong in action? Trust me, that’s totally safe for work. If this was the comments section, I could start the countdown to when Sky would post the girl getting pelted in the face with hot dogs GIF. Speaking of Sky, have you played DFS? It might be better than regular fantasy, and no, I don’t mean H2H fantasy, that shizz sucks.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We have four days with no non-exhibition games so I figured I would vomit out a ‘how are my teams doing?’ post. It has been a pretty good year so far – I’d say 3 of my 7 teams are in contention to win. Read the below at your own peril as – by their very nature – team writeups are sess pools for self-congratulation and self-pity.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Break yo’self foo! No, not like the video… like in take a break from fantasy for a few days and just chill. I hate that baseball won’t rid itself of this ridiculous All-Star break. I’m a fantasy player first. Seriously, what do fantasy baseballers get in return? We are left freaking out if our “guy” does well in the home run derby or our ace injuries himself/delays his next start by pitching in the mid summer crapbasket. Can the All-Star game be a bigger joke? I hate that they award the winning league home field advantage in the World Series. I hate having to read headlines about all the online ballot stuffing. Way to go internet… you blew it again. What I hate the most about the break is I get bored. Like a junkie waiting for a fix or a fat kid waiting for dessert, I need my games! I’ve been watching mediocre movies on Netflix and working on some new dance moves. What are you doing for the break?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Unlike the bad idea to make the movie that inspired the lede today, this weeks update is chock full of useful stuff for you. No, not you Magoo, you already know all the bonus content, but I know you are chomping at the bit to talk about bad 80’s movies. Seriously, even if you have no chance to appear on any of these lists, there is good stuff for RCL strategy, or really any game starts and/or “daily moves no limit on games played” leagues. Damn, that’s a mouthful… and finger full? That’s what I said! I don’t want to hear all the blah blah blah about your tough home league or H2H mumbo jumbo. This is RCL snitches! Before I get to the content, I have to humor my colleague the Big Magoo. He has a thing for bad 80’s horror flicks like a have a thing for bad 80’s b-movie comedies and all their gratuitous boob shots and short shorts. Saturday the 14th combines all those elements in the worst possible way. Silver lining moment of the flick was the appearance of Jeffrey Tambor. It was so bad they decided to make a sequel years later that was worse than the original. If these movies wanted to get it right, they would of gone the Transylvania 6-5000 route. Anythehoo, enough of all that, on to the update…

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With three full months of baseball left to be played, a third horse may be emerging in the race for the first Razznasty dynasty league crown. R’azbahl Al Ghul has made solid win-now pickups and finds himself gaining some ground on the two frontrunners – Hannibal Montana and J-FOH. This month saw a group of about five or six teams ping-ponging around behind the leaders, but it’s been Ghul who has come out of June with sole possession of third place. Here is what else is happening around the league – including full standings, trades, and our league’s FAAB report…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Every week I strive to come up with something catchy for the title and shamefully, I went with the Antonio Banderas flick The 13th Warrior. Screw that, I have no shame in this one, I like this movie for what it is. Mindless entertainment where a Mexican Spaniard plays an Arab, and if you have ever looked at a map, it ain’t that far away. According to Wikipedia, the movie is based on the book Eaters of the Dead, which is a much better title. It was also a financial flop, costing $160 million to make and only grossed $61 million at the box office. Yikes! Like many of the dollars we spent on opening day, we are not always guaranteed the return we thought we would get. I’m looking at you Strasburg and Encarnacion. Enough about mediocrity, lets talk about awesome and wonderful, and that means you. Yes, you. As usual, we have the top 10 overall, the weekly leaders, and the top 20 hitting and pitching teams of the week. I’ve also kicked in the 2015 RCL category leaders… so far.

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A group of men debating the guilt or innocence of another…sounds like our comments section.  This is one of the rare movies where I enjoyed the original and the 1997 remake. Damn, that was really a star studded cast. Yes, Tony Danza is a star, he was in Cannonball Run II! That’s one movie series I would hate to see remade. Is it me, or is Hollywood stuck in a rut? [Jay’s Note: I wonder why?] It feels like every week a poorly done remake or reboot that should of been left alone is coming out. Poltergeist, really Hollywood?…really. I don’t even need to see that to know it’s crap. Wait, this has nothing to with anything today, except what spun out of my head when I saw Tony Danza’s name. If I was Grey, this would make for the perfect segue to a Alyssa Milano dating someone who plays baseball for the Dodgers reference. Dah, I did it again… You would think I would be talking about me with the word angry in the title, but nope, this is the RCL update and it’s about you. Okay, mostly about you and a little about “us”. Follow me after the jump and you’ll know what I’m talking about…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’ve been waiting a month to get to week eleven. Yes, it’s sad, but there isn’t much to work with when it comes to the RCL update titles. I feel I made the most of it, but this week, I get to talk about something I love, not that I don’t love you guys… and hopefully girl readers. Sup! It would be very remiss of me to pass on an opportunity to imagine Razzball in Spinal Tap roles. Grey would have to be Derek with that sweet mustache, Sky would be David, Mike would be Nigel, Jay would be Ian and Rudy is Marty Di Bergi. Hehe, sorry guys. On the real though, I love this movie. Wait, I said that already. From the dwarves to the metal detector and the basement scene, its all brilliant. If you don’t feel like talking about your leagues and teams or anything else fantasy baseball related, then I invite you stick around and share about Spinal Tap. Really though you can always talk about whatever you want to here because Razzball is more than just a fantasy site, it’s a lifestyle!

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While I took some time last week to remind everyone that football exists and that we’re only 48,654 days away from the season starting (though our rankings have started!), this week, I thought I might carve out a little space during this weekly series to go over the CBS Experts Auction league I’m partaking in that was hosted by Scott White. As a refresher, here’s how the league went down. And yes, to answer your first question, I still have Chase Headley on the team. And to answer your second questions, here’s how things stand as of right now…

And be sure to check out some player suggestions for next week, straight from Razzball’s Streamonator, Hitter-Tron, and DFSBot later in the post!

Please, blog, may I have some more?