Our fantasy master lothario is a reality show junkie. He’s got me hooked on Master Chef, as it has become a religion this season. Shark Tank is the best background noise for me when I’m doing work, real or fantasy. But there is one show that he has never watched called Naked and Afraid on Discovery. In case you are not familiar with the premise: two people, one man and one woman, are dropped in a remote location and must survive 21 days with only their birthday suit and one survival item. Most take a machete or a fire starter… or that one guy that brought duct tape. Funny side note, I was peeking on Wikipedia and they pointed out that even though most struggle with the bare feet, that no one has taken a pair of shoes yet [Jay’s Note: Probably because you can’t do much with one shoe.]. It was a good show that sometimes had great episodes. Well, this year, they went big with Naked and Afraid XL. At first I thought it was going to be fat people surviving and losing weight, but it turned out that it was four teams of three previous contestants dumped into Colombia and surviving 40 days. The show is f***ing awesome. Anythehoo, is that enough filler Jay? Kidding, I bring up this show because we are at about day 17 in our 21 day journey, and have stripped ourselves of all that we were on draft day and are surviving on strategy, schmotatos, streamers and a little good old fashioned luck/voodoo/prayer circles. Before I go, I got a little football plug from the football side about Football RCL’s, which by the way, I’ll be writing this year. I can’t leave Brotha Jay hangin’ like that… Want to expand your RCL prowess? Our Fantasy Football Commenter Leagues are now open, and we have some really sweet prizes for you this season…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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No, I’m not going to link Doors songs or talk about how I wonder if when they started the motion picture company, they didn’t think they would last as long as they did. I’m also not going to talk about RCL strategy or how awesome Sky is when dealing with the general public. [Jay’s Note: The interesting part is that we’ve had contributors to go on and write at FanGraphs while FanGraphs has had contributors go on and write for us…] Instead I will use Charles Bradley’s (he is sorta new-ish but sounds like he recorded this 45 years ago in the 20th century) song titles to write the rest of this opener. This is strictly reserved for you, the RCL players who support all that is this, the Update. We’ve had our heartaches and pain this year and if you think you got the gold then you better check yourself for we have no time for dreaming. I’ll slip away now for this world is yours…and because no razzball contributer will be winning the whole effing thing.

Note: Want to expand your RCL prowess? Our Fantasy Football Commenter Leagues are now open, and we have some really sweet prizes for you this season…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

With just over a month and a half left to play, it’s still a tight two-horse race between Razzball’s J-FOH and Hannibal Montana for the first Razznasty championship. The big story right now though is MattTruss (The Hippos). Truss has gained nearly 20 points in the standings since our last league update in early July and now sits comfortably in third place. How has he done it? Basically he’s dominated the rest of us since July 1st – leading the league in RBIs, wins, and strikeouts over that span. But that’s not all. The Hippos have also been top five in four other categories, including hitting the second most homers and posting the second best ERA since the beginning of last month. In other words, it’s been a balanced attack on the standings, and I am now officially scared of hippos. There is still a lot of ground between Truss and our two leaders, but anything can happen when you’re a 2-ton animal on the move.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’ve been running out of ideas for titles but this one was a slam dunk. I have said many times before that I’m a huge Steely Dan fan. They are one of a few artists to ALWAYS soothe this beast and take me to a good childhood place. But hey, enough about me, I want to talk about you, but not all of you. The “you” I can’t talk about is the top 20 overall. Due to some computer issues, we don’t have an updated master standings this week. Sorry guys… and girls, we will hopefully have them next week when Rudy returns from his vacation.

Before I move onto the RCL data, I wanted to talk up our Razzball day at the Angels game one more time. Below is my rather poor attempt at combining two pictures, sorry for the pixelation. Below is Grey and myself sporting our sweet new Razzball shirts. To show you how much I want this to be about you… and Grey, I cut my face out so we get Grey times three! If you want to buy one, let me know in the comments. To the right is Teddy Heater, with Hector Santiago (I think?), walking off the field after he threw out the first pitch. Damn our boy can throw. So proud how hard Teddy represented Razzball with his sweet jersey. I had a nice chat with Teddy about today’s topic: the RCL’S. In his first year he has really picked up on the strategies and was already talking about next years draft strategy. You guys… and girls should try to play an RCL with Teddy next year.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you are thinking this is a call out to the Skid Row hit from the 1989 self-titled classic Skid Row, then you are correctamundo. I was in the 8th grade when this album came out and I didn’t stop hearing it around me until the end of my freshman year. What gives with that? Maybe it’s my age that makes it feel like popular music hung around much longer back then… Maybe it’s because I grew up with too many pinche whettos who loved this kind of music… Maybe it could of been worse… OR, maybe even worse… For all the things I forget on a daily basis, why do these things stay stuck in my brain? Wait, this isn’t bad music memory lane game, this is the RCL update. I’m glad to be back after my vacation and want to thank VinWins for covering last week. So lets jump in and get to where I talk about you, because who really wants to read about me?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As you can see I didn’t go with the traditional dong GIF. Instead, I went with the look of horror on the ladies face when you tell them you play fantasy baseball GIF. You could be cool and say “fantasy football: because that’s what the cool kids do”. Or so I hear. Speaking of fantasy football, have you been following Jay on the football side? Wait a minute, why am I making a shameless plug for the football side? I’m talking about dongs and that is Razzball baseball. Don’t worry, I have a GIF of the Donger. Who would I be to deny you guys… and girls of some dong in action? Trust me, that’s totally safe for work. If this was the comments section, I could start the countdown to when Sky would post the girl getting pelted in the face with hot dogs GIF. Speaking of Sky, have you played DFS? It might be better than regular fantasy, and no, I don’t mean H2H fantasy, that shizz sucks.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We have four days with no non-exhibition games so I figured I would vomit out a ‘how are my teams doing?’ post. It has been a pretty good year so far – I’d say 3 of my 7 teams are in contention to win. Read the below at your own peril as – by their very nature – team writeups are sess pools for self-congratulation and self-pity.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Break yo’self foo! No, not like the video… like in take a break from fantasy for a few days and just chill. I hate that baseball won’t rid itself of this ridiculous All-Star break. I’m a fantasy player first. Seriously, what do fantasy baseballers get in return? We are left freaking out if our “guy” does well in the home run derby or our ace injuries himself/delays his next start by pitching in the mid summer crapbasket. Can the All-Star game be a bigger joke? I hate that they award the winning league home field advantage in the World Series. I hate having to read headlines about all the online ballot stuffing. Way to go internet… you blew it again. What I hate the most about the break is I get bored. Like a junkie waiting for a fix or a fat kid waiting for dessert, I need my games! I’ve been watching mediocre movies on Netflix and working on some new dance moves. What are you doing for the break?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Unlike the bad idea to make the movie that inspired the lede today, this weeks update is chock full of useful stuff for you. No, not you Magoo, you already know all the bonus content, but I know you are chomping at the bit to talk about bad 80’s movies. Seriously, even if you have no chance to appear on any of these lists, there is good stuff for RCL strategy, or really any game starts and/or “daily moves no limit on games played” leagues. Damn, that’s a mouthful… and finger full? That’s what I said! I don’t want to hear all the blah blah blah about your tough home league or H2H mumbo jumbo. This is RCL snitches! Before I get to the content, I have to humor my colleague the Big Magoo. He has a thing for bad 80’s horror flicks like a have a thing for bad 80’s b-movie comedies and all their gratuitous boob shots and short shorts. Saturday the 14th combines all those elements in the worst possible way. Silver lining moment of the flick was the appearance of Jeffrey Tambor. It was so bad they decided to make a sequel years later that was worse than the original. If these movies wanted to get it right, they would of gone the Transylvania 6-5000 route. Anythehoo, enough of all that, on to the update…

Please, blog, may I have some more?