There’s no Sonavabench! shirt. There’s no Latin 32 shirt with a silhouette of Pujols. There’s not even a Cust Kayin’ shirt. I know, bummer. But let’s focus on the shirts we convinced our partners to produce for this first go-around. (Yes, us supervising shirt design took us to Malaysia, burning embers onto the end of a long stick. “Give me a different font!” *poke, poke*) The first shirt is a lovely charcoal… Okay, I’m not a catalog writer. We got a Sparky Anklebiter shirt and a “It’s Tough Being In A Platoon” shirt.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In 2000, a gritty bunch of veterans, role players, and youngsters almost did the impossible – beat the New York Yankees in a World Series. Led by the mad genius of Bobby Valentine, the silver foxiness of Steve Phillips, and the support of a well-capitalized owner who gladly stayed out of the public eye (Fred Wilpon), the 2000 New York Mets were almost at the top of baseball’s pyramid.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Now’s the time when we put all of our 2011 baseball predictions in one place. Then in October we can look back at this and laugh. Oh, and we will laugh. Big, bellowing, seat of your pants laughs. Hindsight is indeed 20/20. But where’s the harm in setting ourselves to look like jackasses? We run a fantasy baseball blog, after all. Grey’s picks in RED. Rudy’s picks in BLUE. Anyway, here’s our predictions for baseball’s post-season awards and whatnot:
AL Pennant Winner – Detroit Tigers – The Yankees would’ve been the easy choice here, but I’m a small market kind of guy.Please, blog, may I have some more?
(The following is an abridged Introduction to my (e)book, Who Is Grey Albright? To purchase, click here. It’s $15. I will be donating a portion to my growing drinking problem. After you buy it, I’ll email you the (e)book.)
An (e)book sounds like something that should be trying to sell you something. That’s not my goal. Well, I mean, it’s not my goal to sell you anything beyond this (e)book. Though I do know about this great deal on Nigerian lottery tickets. Not only will I not be selling something, but I imagine if you read this (e)book from pages 1-102, you’ll actually be less inclined to buy something from me. You might not be interested in anything I say ever again. Now if you read pages 1-102, but skip pages 19-20, 32-34, 41-43, 54-58, 61-63, 67-73, 88-89 and 93 (depending about how you feel about cocaine and prostitutes) then you might still find me somewhat likable.Please, blog, may I have some more?
USA Today may no longer appreciate the insights shared by Larry King in his long-running column but we at Razzball were thrilled when he accepted our invitation to share his thoughts on Fantasy Baseball….
It’s 2011 and I haven’t been more excited to start a fantasy baseball season since Babe Ruth gained OF eligibility….I’d like to pass Miguel Cabrera some advice I once got from Ann Margaret at Art Garfunkel’s ‘Carnal Knowledge‘-themed New Year’s party – “Easy there, Tiger”…My friend Tony Gugliotta from Brooklyn is drafting J.P.Please, blog, may I have some more?
If you search for fantasy baseball, the first result is Yahoo Fantasy Baseball. (We’re first for fantasy baseball blog. Natch! Or natchurally, if you’re long-winded.) But this isn’t about Yahoo fantasy baseball. (Is Yahoo always with an exclamation mark? Yahoo has a volume problem, huh?) When people find us, they are not searching for Yahoo fantasy baseball, but what are they searching for when they find us? Since it’s a holiday, I decided to break away from the normal schedule of 2011 fantasy baseball rookies and look at exactly what people do search for when they find us. Last year, we had our biggest year. Over 5 million people found us. (I think about 4.9 million found us with the search query “What is SAGNOF?” Neverthehoo…) That’s a big Thanksgiving to you from all of us here at Razzball. Now here are 20 actual searches for people who found Razzball and my answers to their searches:
1.Please, blog, may I have some more?
USA Today might no longer appreciate the insights shared by Larry King in his long-running column but we at Razzball were thrilled when he accepted our invitation to share his thoughts on Fantasy Baseball….
Greetings friends, acquaintances and ex-wives! Congratulations to the San Francisco Giants! I can’t wait to see your parade where you celebrate your pride…. How about the fact that whomever won Bengie Molina was guaranteed a ring? That reminds me of my 4th marriage…. I’m so happy for Cody Ross’ family. His great-great-great grandmother was a wonderful woman and a hell of a seamstress…. I once bought a day old bagel and cracked a tooth. Since then “I feared the schmeared….” Some of you might have saw the great matriarch, Barbara Bush, at game four. She wasn’t keeping score, we were doing some old school texting… I do wish both teams could’ve won the World Series. Then some of my hedge bets would’ve made sense…. I just don’t understand Paranormal Activity 2. Why don’t they just buy a nightlight?… You know what never gets old? A conversation with my doorman….Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome to the year end Razzball Awards! Or as they call them in New Jersey, the “What’s this crap?” Unlike the ESPYs, you won’t have to wear a tux or listen to Derek Jeter try to be funny. Speaking of Viagra — Vlad’s got one good leg and he’s not wearing a shoe on it.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Have you ever read Razzball and thought to yourself, “I enjoy their musings and perspectives on fantasy baseball and only wish they would stop hoarding their opinions on other subjects. I mean, really, they must think about something besides fantasy baseball. Am I unknowingly contributing to their unhealthy fantasy baseball addiction by frequenting this blog? Should I schedule an intervention? Did I mention hoarding and intervention in the same paragraph? Man, I have to stop watching so much A&E. Is it ironic or self-fulfilling that shows about compulsive behavior lead to compulsive viewing habits?”
We hope you think like that because we’ve launched a new blog that will solve the above conundrum (except the A&E part)!Please, blog, may I have some more?
There’s a certain grind to the baseball schedule that someone with a slight case of OCD like myself can fully get behind. Day in and day out over six months. You make a small move to offset another move and it may not show up in the standings for three months. By August, you wanna strangle some of your players (Jason Bay, you bastard!) and you’ve fallen in love with some other players (Carlos Gonzalez is a God!). From what I understand this grind is akin to fantasy basketball. Day in and day out over the course of an 82 game schedule, players come and go. (Some go back to their Mother Planet; Sam Cassell for one.) Unfortunately, I stopped watching basketball around the same time Patrick Ewing was sweating so much that they called lane violations on the droplets. So it makes sense that I would never write about basketball. I have nothing to say about it. But Razzball does. With that lengthy blah blah blah, I’m proud to announce Razzball’s own Fantasy Basketball Blog.Please, blog, may I have some more?