If you search for fantasy baseball, the first result is Yahoo Fantasy Baseball. (We’re first for fantasy baseball blog. Natch! Or natchurally, if you’re long-winded.) But this isn’t about Yahoo fantasy baseball. (Is Yahoo always with an exclamation mark? Yahoo has a volume problem, huh?) When people find us, they are not searching for Yahoo fantasy baseball, but what are they searching for when they find us? Since it’s a holiday, I decided to break away from the normal schedule of 2012 fantasy baseball rookies and look at exactly what people do search for when they find us. Last year, we had our biggest year. Over 7 million people found us. (I think about 6.9 million found us with the search query “What is SAGNOF?” Neverthehoo…) That’s a big Happy Thanksgiving to you from all of us here at Razzball. Now here are 20 actual searches for people who found Razzball and my answers to their searches:
1. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Most players answer questions yes or no. I end up with a two-page dissertation on the Coriolis effect on how the ball spins. I’m not putting people on. I’m telling the truth. But people consider me flaky. The word “sinister” comes from the Latin word for left-handed, you know. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome to the year end Razzball Awards! Or as they call them in New Jersey, the “What’s this crap?” Unlike the ESPYs, you won’t have to wear a tux or listen to Derek Jeter try to be funny. Speaking of Viagra — Vlad’s got one good leg and he’s not wearing a shoe on it. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well, first off, there’s more teeth in baseball. Also, less consonants. In fantasy hockey, it seems like everyone’s name is Marc Rzepczynski. Hockey also makes for better video games. Or at least it did the last time I played video games — 1994 EA NHL on Sega Genesis. That’s pretty much all I know of hockey. In fantasy hockey, is “one-timers” a category? Does Wayne Gretzky still bleed if you check him really hard? Are Alexander Mogilny and Pavel Bure still ridiculously fast? I’m used to a lot of foreign players in baseball but usually from places with good food. Please, blog, may I have some more?
About five weeks ago, Andrew L, one of the managers in our RCL League (The ECFBL), was perusing the names of some of the players chosen in the recent MLB draft. Dominating the headlines were Trevor Gretzky, the son of Wayne Gretzky, arguable the greatest player in the history of hockey, as well as Pudge Jr, However, the San Diego Padres drafted an outfielder from Valparaiso University, named Kyle Gaedele, in the sixth round. Kyle happens to be a great-nephew to Eddie Gaedel, who was, of course, Bill Veeck’s midget, who would achieved baseball immortality. Please, blog, may I have some more?
The date: October 14, 1908. The place: Bennet Field, Detroit. The event: Game 5 of the World Series. On that day, Orval Overall of the Chicago Cubs outpitched the Tigers’ ace Billy Donovan, winning the clinching game of the World Series 2-0. Overall allowed the Tigers just three hits and had a formidable ten Ks. Outstanding ballplayers in that series included the incomparable Georgia Peach, Ty Cobb; the immortal infield combination of Joe Tinker, Johnny Evers, and Frank Chance; and ace Mordecai “Three-Fingered” Brown, who would have likely been MVP of the Series if that award had been offered at the time. There were only 6,210 fans in attendance that day; little did they know that they were witnessing the last Cubs World Series triumph in a century, and still counting. In 1908, the Cubs had built not only the first baseball, but also the first all-sports, dynasty in the Modern Era. The Cubs had appeared in three consecutive World Series and had won two back-to-back titles over the Tigers; the only blemish was an inexplicable loss to the Chicago White Sox in 1906 when the “Hitless Wonders” won the title despite batting under .200 as a team. It should be noted that in 1906 the Cubs had 116 wins, a record that was tied by the Mariners 116 wins in 2001. Since the Cubs played 12 fewer games that season than the Mariners, their winning percentage (.763) remains the highest in baseball history. Please, blog, may I have some more?
According to baseball mythos, on a spring day in the year 1839, in the bucolic town of Cooperstown, New York, Abner Doubleday, who would later be a hero at the Battle of Gettysburg, sat down and composed the Rules of Baseball. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here at Razzball we don’t believe in vetoing a fantasy baseball trade, but we do fully support passive-aggressive, sarcastic belittling. If someone in your league completed a trade that makes you wish they’d walk into oncoming traffic, you’re in luck! Here’s a Mad Libs-type tirade to post in your league’s messageboard because when met with pettiness, you should retaliate with more pettiness. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Going back to the long-lost days of my youth, I have always been captivated by baseball lore and anecdotes. In one of the first books I devoured on the subject listed the players that were found worthy of enshrinement in the Hall of Fame. Please, blog, may I have some more?
There’s no Sonavabench! shirt. There’s no Latin 32 shirt with a silhouette of Pujols. There’s not even a Cust Kayin’ shirt. I know, bummer. But let’s focus on the shirts we convinced our partners to produce for this first go-around. (Yes, us supervising shirt design took us to Malaysia, burning embers onto the end of a long stick. “Give me a different font!” *poke, poke*) The first shirt is a lovely charcoal… Okay, I’m not a catalog writer. We got a Sparky Anklebiter shirt and a “It’s Tough Being In A Platoon” shirt. Please, blog, may I have some more?