According to baseball mythos, on a spring day in the year 1839, in the bucolic town of Cooperstown, New York, Abner Doubleday, who would later be a hero at the Battle of Gettysburg, sat down and composed the Rules of Baseball.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Y to Z
Here at Razzball we don’t believe in vetoing a fantasy baseball trade, but we do fully support passive-aggressive, sarcastic belittling. If someone in your league completed a trade that makes you wish they’d walk into oncoming traffic, you’re in luck! Here’s a Mad Libs-type tirade to post in your league’s messageboard because when met with pettiness, you should retaliate with more pettiness.
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Going back to the long-lost days of my youth, I have always been captivated by baseball lore and anecdotes. In one of the first books I devoured on the subject listed the players that were found worthy of enshrinement in the Hall of Fame.
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There’s no Sonavabench! shirt. There’s no Latin 32 shirt with a silhouette of Pujols. There’s not even a Cust Kayin’ shirt. I know, bummer. But let’s focus on the shirts we convinced our partners to produce for this first go-around. (Yes, us supervising shirt design took us to Malaysia, burning embers onto the end of a long stick. “Give me a different font!” *poke, poke*) The first shirt is a lovely charcoal… Okay, I’m not a catalog writer. We got a Sparky Anklebiter shirt and a “It’s Tough Being In A Platoon” shirt.
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In 2000, a gritty bunch of veterans, role players, and youngsters almost did the impossible – beat the New York Yankees in a World Series. Led by the mad genius of Bobby Valentine, the silver foxiness of Steve Phillips, and the support of a well-capitalized owner who gladly stayed out of the public eye (Fred Wilpon), the 2000 New York Mets were almost at the top of baseball’s pyramid.
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Now’s the time when we put all of our 2011 baseball predictions in one place. Then in October we can look back at this and laugh. Oh, and we will laugh. Big, bellowing, seat of your pants laughs. Hindsight is indeed 20/20. But where’s the harm in setting ourselves to look like jackasses? We run a fantasy baseball blog, after all. Grey’s picks in RED. Rudy’s picks in BLUE. Anyway, here’s our predictions for baseball’s post-season awards and whatnot:
AL Pennant Winner – Detroit Tigers – The Yankees would’ve been the easy choice here, but I’m a small market kind of guy.
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(The following is an abridged Introduction to my (e)book, Who Is Grey Albright? To purchase, click here. It’s $15. I will be donating a portion to my growing drinking problem. After you buy it, I’ll email you the (e)book.)
Introduction
An (e)book sounds like something that should be trying to sell you something. That’s not my goal. Well, I mean, it’s not my goal to sell you anything beyond this (e)book. Though I do know about this great deal on Nigerian lottery tickets. Not only will I not be selling something, but I imagine if you read this (e)book from pages 1-102, you’ll actually be less inclined to buy something from me. You might not be interested in anything I say ever again. Now if you read pages 1-102, but skip pages 19-20, 32-34, 41-43, 54-58, 61-63, 67-73, 88-89 and 93 (depending about how you feel about cocaine and prostitutes) then you might still find me somewhat likable.
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USA Today may no longer appreciate the insights shared by Larry King in his long-running column but we at Razzball were thrilled when he accepted our invitation to share his thoughts on Fantasy Baseball….
It’s 2011 and I haven’t been more excited to start a fantasy baseball season since Babe Ruth gained OF eligibility….I’d like to pass Miguel Cabrera some advice I once got from Ann Margaret at Art Garfunkel’s ‘Carnal Knowledge‘-themed New Year’s party – “Easy there, Tiger”…My friend Tony Gugliotta from Brooklyn is drafting J.P.
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If you search for fantasy baseball, the first result is Yahoo Fantasy Baseball. (We’re first for fantasy baseball blog. Natch! Or natchurally, if you’re long-winded.) But this isn’t about Yahoo fantasy baseball. (Is Yahoo always with an exclamation mark? Yahoo has a volume problem, huh?) When people find us, they are not searching for Yahoo fantasy baseball, but what are they searching for when they find us? Since it’s a holiday, I decided to break away from the normal schedule of 2011 fantasy baseball rookies and look at exactly what people do search for when they find us. Last year, we had our biggest year. Over 5 million people found us. (I think about 4.9 million found us with the search query “What is SAGNOF?” Neverthehoo…) That’s a big Thanksgiving to you from all of us here at Razzball. Now here are 20 actual searches for people who found Razzball and my answers to their searches:
1.
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USA Today might no longer appreciate the insights shared by Larry King in his long-running column but we at Razzball were thrilled when he accepted our invitation to share his thoughts on Fantasy Baseball….
Greetings friends, acquaintances and ex-wives! Congratulations to the San Francisco Giants! I can’t wait to see your parade where you celebrate your pride…. How about the fact that whomever won Bengie Molina was guaranteed a ring? That reminds me of my 4th marriage…. I’m so happy for Cody Ross’ family. His great-great-great grandmother was a wonderful woman and a hell of a seamstress…. I once bought a day old bagel and cracked a tooth. Since then “I feared the schmeared….” Some of you might have saw the great matriarch, Barbara Bush, at game four. She wasn’t keeping score, we were doing some old school texting… I do wish both teams could’ve won the World Series. Then some of my hedge bets would’ve made sense…. I just don’t understand Paranormal Activity 2. Why don’t they just buy a nightlight?… You know what never gets old? A conversation with my doorman….
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