Soda Glover, Yoda Glover, Coda Glover, but no Koda Glover. That’s my constant struggle with my autocorrect. Let’s break down those typos, shall we? Soda Glover has been better than 7-Up and seven down. Me strike out batters you like, man with toothpick, says Yoda Glover. The concluding event at the section of the baseball game called the ninth inning will be the Coda Glover. Dusty Baker hasn’t yet named a closer, but, unless they trade for someone (and this isn’t out of the question), all indications are that Koda Glover will be the Nats’ closer. Jon Heyman wrote, “….but with Shawn Kelley not considered a closer candidate due to two past Tommy John surgeries…” Such a throwaway line. Like it’s common knowledge. Either Heyman heard something from the Nats, which led him to believe everyone knew this, or Heyman’s totally in the dark. Could be either, but I’m thinking Nat-Nat-Nat-Nats’ all folks for Shawn Kelley, who has barely thrown this spring. In my fantasy baseball rankings and my top 500, I’ve moved Koda Glover above Blake Treinen and Kelley. Also, adjusted my Fantasy Baseball War Room. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I hate early drafts. There’s absolutely no skill involved in drafting on March 3rd and avoiding Ian Desmond due to a broken hand that hasn’t happened yet. It’s like not getting on a subway car and you end up marrying a Cougar vs. Coldplay’s Chris Martin and you keep forgetting your Apple ID so you can’t download a song you really want to hear vs. getting free iPhones hand-delivered by Bono. Admittedly, I never saw the movie, Sliding Doors, but I picture the plot being something like that. I want to marry Chris Martin and get iBonos! Man, this effin’ sucks. Looks like I’m going to have to battle just a wee bit harder in Yahoo’s Friends & Family draft where I took Desmond. *cries uncontrollably* But I don’t want to battle harder! The tears running down my face have fallen onto my desk and are spelling out, “Why can’t you have anything mice?” Mice? What the hell are you talking about tears? I’ve updated my top 20 overall, top 100 and my top 60 outfielders. The Fantasy Baseball War Room is updated, and, since Mark Reynolds will be the Rockies’ 1st baseman, I’ve updated the top 20 1st basemen. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
JB and I went to spring training this past weekend in Arizona. Had some great meals, drank some iced Cuban coffees that I tried to order as an ‘iced Puig,’ saw way too many Angels games, obviously went to a Brewers game, and enjoyed my very first six-foot, seven-inch spooning. I needed JB’s oversized spoon after hearing about David Dahl and his rib injury. He has a stress reaction of his sixth rib, and I have a stress reaction with many expletives. You can’t spell David Dahl without dah. Seriously, I tried. Now, I can’t see his name without thinking it’s really “Dah!” Rockies manager Bud Black said that Opening Day is out of the question. I moved him out of my top 20 outfielders and into my top 40 outfielders. I still would draft him, even if he’s no longer in my top 100 overall. The Rockies said Gerardo Parra will fill-in for Dah!, and I’d draft Parra in the last rounds as a flyer just in case Dah!’s injury turns out to be worse than thought. I just jinxed him, didn’t I? Dah! By the by, between Charlie Blackmon and manager, Bud Black, the Rockies have so many white guys trying to take advantage of affirmative action, they should sign C. Thomas Howell star of Soul Man. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this spring training for fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
With all the innings totals I wish I could accurately project for 2017, two that carry some of the most weight in drafts come from the same team. To say the Dodgers have a plethora of starting pitching would be an understatement. One of the many divergences between baseball and fantasy baseball is the value of depth. The Dodgers have roughly 10 viable starting pitchers from which they can construct their opening day rotation, yet that only creates headaches for fantasy owners trying to figure out projections for arms like the two I’m curious about, Julio Urias and Rich Hill.
Razzball Commenter Leagues are open! Play against our contributors and your fellow readers for prizes. Join here!Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m a bad person. I try to offset being bad by doing some good in the world. For instance, the other day, I stood outside an Arthur Murray Dance Studio with a sign that read, “Unitards are Uni-specials.” Was the good I did by speaking out against the very un-PC name unitards able to offset the joy I found in David Price having a sore elbow? Instead of a bastard was I a bas-special? I can’t say. Even worse to the karmic wallop I’ve potentially inflicted on my eternal soul, I was slightly upset Price hurt his elbow now rather then wait until the first week of the season after everyone drafted him. Yes, I told everyone in the top 20 starters to avoid him, but some just don’t listen. Did I know he would hurt himself? No, but did I know you would regret owning him? Like a nun’s DVD collection, I had no doubt. I haven’t moved him down yet in my rankings, but he’s off to see Dr. Freeze, so rather than moving Price down, shortly I’m going to just be removing him completely from the rankings. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into the rest of the roundup (rundown?), just wanted to mention JB and I will be in Phoenix this weekend and would be down to meet up for a spring training game or drinks tonight or tomorrow night. Just comment on the post and I’ll let you know where we will be. My guess is we’ll be at a Brewers game. Anyway II, the roundup:Please, blog, may I have some more?
If I could find a way
I’d take back those words that hurt you….
Damn you Cher. Damn you and your catchy songs. And damn you for killing Jack Nicholson in Witches of Eastwick. No one kills Jack. Jack is the man. Goes to Lakers games. Hits on Jennifer Lawrence during the Oscars. Lives in Hollywood. The man.
If you drive about an hour south of Hollywood through Los Angeles you get to Newport Beach.T hat just happens to be the home town of one Gerrit Cole. (Sexy Segue complete.) Cole is also the man. Drafted first in 2011, he will get his call to the show at some point this year. This guy can flat out pitch. In his first professional year, Cole climbed the complete ladder of the minor leagues by starting in high-A ball and ending in Indianapolis (AAA) for a cup of coffee. The guy sports a 98+ fastball that if it hits you it’ll leave a six-foot hole coming out. And he’s not afraid to be aggressive. (Be aggressive! B. E. Aggressive!) Just listen to what Gaby Sanchez said about the kid via Dejan Kovacevic of the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review:
“Some guys who throw hard, they’re a little shy about going inside. This kid, he’ll get two strikes on you, then back you off, and now he’s got the whole plate to get you out. Tough, man. Tough.”
But when will we see him in black and yellow?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Bud Norris and Zack Greinke both struck out 12 hitters yesterday. One in 6 innings and the latter in 7 innings, if latter means Greinke. And when I saw their lines it occurred to me, that my Bud’s gonna be just like Greinke, when he grows up, my Bud’s gonna be just like Greinke. Please, blog, may I have some more?Please, blog, may I have some more?
With games like this, who needs healthy elbows? Certainly not Chris Sale. Four score and two dozen ‘and that’s me quoting me’s ago, I posted our AL-Only team. I went on about what a shambles the pitching staff was and how our only bat was Evan Longoria. Please, blog, may I have some more?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Can I get a “no” with eleven O’s? I personally don’t have the heart right now to type them all. Yesterday, Giancarlo Stanton, the pride and joy of my heart and the name scribbled all over my Trapper Keeper, said that his knee is bothering him and will continue to bother him. Please, blog, may I have some more?Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Twins’ Francisco Liriano may actually have a Twin. Let’s call him Diego Liriano (runner-up choices were Jose, Antonio, Luis Obispo, and Fernando Valley). Maybe Diego pitched his first 5 starts – the ones where Liriano got shelled to the tune of 24 ER, 18 BB, and 27 Hits within 23 2/3 innings. Please, blog, may I have some more?Please, blog, may I have some more?