Here’s a post that’s gonna make you wanna slap ya mama and call her Mark. The other day I told you how to draft your pitchers for 2013 fantasy baseball. I laid it out to you nice and simple (if you have a degree in “What The Hell Is Grey Talking About?” Not a PhD, mind you. Just a BS.) Today, we forget all that jabberwocky on the who-ha and get down to business old school-style (which means if you don’t comprehend, I will hit you over the head with a baseball bat signed by Joe Clark.) What I’m hoping to lay out to you is who do you draft 2nd if you’ve drafted so and so first. I think it might be helpful to go through pairings for your 5 outfielders, all your middle and corner infielders too. I’m not sure I’ll have the time or patience to do them though. We’ll see! Or not. Your choice. (Actually, my choice.) For easy reference, the royal we will be using the top 10 2013 fantasy baseball rankings, the top 20 2013 fantasy baseball rankings and the beginning of the top 100 for 2013 fantasy baseball. I’m going to assume you’re in a 12 team, 5×5, MI, CI, 5 OF, 1 Utility, 1 Catcher league, similar to our Razzball Commenter Leagues. Anyway, here’s some pairings for the first two rounds of 2013 fantasy baseball drafts:

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For these pairings, I’m going to be using our 2013 fantasy baseball rankings. Notably, the top 20 starters for 2013 fantasy baseball, top 40 starters for 2013, top 60 starters for 2013 and the top 80 starters for 2013. You can just go to our Fantasy Baseball War Room too (due to popular demand, we’ll make a downloadable Excel spreadsheet available later today). Or the fantasy baseball tiers (compliments to commenter, Drew!). Okay, now that we have our links and shizz done. What is a pitcher pairing? It’s how you plan on putting together a fantasy staff. It’s a plan of action. If you have A pitcher, which B, C and D pitcher goes with him? You should have six starters. The sixth starter is Matt Harvey or take whoever you want. I suggest an upside pick. Matt Harvey comes to mind. Or Marco Estrada. Marco Estrada also comes to mind. I’m going to assume you’re in a 12 team, 5×5 and some variation of 9 Pitchers league. BTW, if you haven’t done so yet, sign up for a Razzball Commenter League (we need commissioners!). (NOTE: What you are about to read is massively confusing. If it were found scribbled in a notebook, the FBI would be watching me. If Charles Manson stood up and read this at the next prison Meet N’ Greet, no one would blink an eye.) Anyway, here’s some pairings for pitching staffs for 2013 fantasy baseball drafts:

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Hehe, I said tool. Okay, with help of a very talented programmer and an occasional commenter, Jamil, we’ve turned this year’s War Room inside out and ripped off the tag. Our 2013 Fantasy Baseball War Room is one part draft tool, one part fantasy team evaluator, one part fantasy junkie’s s’s and g’s tool, one part holy, two parts smokes, three parts… How many parts is that so far? Cause it’s only really seven parts total. I think there’s one part kill-your-day-with-this-war-room-thing-a-maboob in there too. I don’t know, guys and four girls, I think it’s pretty cool and I only get excited about things once every three full moons or once every time I see the t-shirt with three moons and a wolf. For reals, it might be the best thing since sliced bread. Now sliced bread that is toasted and buttered is another story entirely. This shizz is so insane, we named it after Andre 3000. Shake it like a Fantasy Baseball War Room, shake it!

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Did a little fishing. Here’s what I hooked. Arrayed all 576 RCL teams from last year, sorted by each pitching category, assigned a rank, 1 to 576 (just like your RCL league, 1 to 12) then totaled the ranks for the five cats. The result was a ranking from top to bottom for the best pitching managers.

The #1 ranked manager produced (followed by the average for each cat):

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Some people will tell you Giancarlo Stanton‘s plate discipline has improved while in the majors and that his comps suggest further reduction in K% and growth in BB%.  Most will boast he’s one of a Lilliputian handful of players with a legitimate shot at 40+ HR and that he has room to improve on his power. 

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Unlike with real baseball, it can unequivocally be said that fantasy baseball is 50% about hitting and 50% about pitching.  Yet it is close to a foregone conclusion that fantasy baseball drafters should invest disproportionately in hitters vs. pitchers.  If someone were to draft a pitcher in the first round or three in the first five rounds, the average fantasy baseball player would scoff at them (scoff I say!).

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Last time, on Nerd TV we looked at some SP whose actual Ks didn’t jive with their expected Ks from last season. That’s 2011, for those of you traveling through time while reading this. In case you can’t read minds or remember 70 random characters at a time, I’ve used this formula for the expected Ks:

eK%=(ClStr%*.9)+(Foul%*.5)+(InPly%*-.9)+(InZSwStr%*1.1)+(OZSwStr%*1.5)

Today, we’ll subjectively select some sandbaggin’ and overachievin’ RP for your fantasy baseball draft strategy.

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You’ve seen Grey’s PEDS, you’ve seen his iOS, you’ve seen his Pitcher Pairings, you’ve seen his rankings, you’ve seen his mustache… doode’s an open book (and actually, he’s got one of them, too). He’s fantasy baseball’s equivalent of Jenna Jameson; he’s willing to show you everything, but he’s not quite as easy as he seems.

Please, blog, may I have some more?