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You know that slo-mo video of Homer Simpson taking a cannonball off his belly?  This looked more painful. When Carlos Santana, the future of the Indians franchise, went down in this collision, his knee said, “I wish I were Joe Theismann’s knee.”  To stay in the world of The Simpsons, you can see the exact moment when Cleveland’s heart breaks.  Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Roy Oswalt agreed to be traded to the Phillies after his son, Roy Oswalt Jr., broke it down to him, “Dad, the Astros suck, Ed Wade’s toupee’s been at half mast for years now and Ryan Howard Jr. promised to protect me from bullies.”  Well, the first thing you know ol’ Roy’s a millionaire… Kinfolk said Roy move away from there… Said Philadelphia is the place you ought to be… So the Oswalts pack up their stuff and are moving to Philly.  Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Logan Morrison played at the same community college as Albert Pujols.  That’s two more MLB players than Middlesex County College or MC-squared as we called it.  Let’s look at what Stephen wrote about Morrison, “Blessed with a balanced, flat swing with plus-power, and the organization’s best plate-discipline…  The only thing more exciting than Morrison is pasting copies of Grey’s photo to a dartboard and piercing his eyeballs.”  Hmm… Hadn’t read that last part before.  Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Dan Haren was traded to the Angels for a terrible pitcher and some prospects.  On a real baseball note, the Diamondhacks got had like they were taking cards from Ricky Jay.  I think the desert sun’s baked their brains.  To make a deal in the major leagues, you see what the Yankees will give you then you dangle that deal in front of all other clubs. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?