Yesterday, Matt LaPorta homered in his third straight game. Who needs LeBron when you got LaPorta? BTW, I don’t like basketball because I think a 7 foot tall guy making a basket is as difficult as me throwing away something in a garbage can, but I suggest you check out the LeBron documentary.Please, blog, may I have some more?
By the dawn’s early light, why are you unhealthy again, Jose Reyes?! Tough week for MIs. Rollins must be contagious. It’s the Middle Infieluenza Outbreak of Twenty-Ten. This is like in 1918 when Skeeter McGillicuddy sneezed and the Brooklyn Robins entire team was in the hospital for two weeks with the Robins forcing a team of jailbirds and hooligans onto the field in the heart of the pennant race.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Chase Utley was placed on the 15-day DL with a sprained thumb and he might need surgery. This injury opens up a big gaping hole in his owners’ hearts that can only be filled with junk food and hardcore drugs. Utley may not have been playing his weight in pomade, but at least you had him out there.Please, blog, may I have some more?
On May 23rd, Jason Heyward was scratched with a sore thumb. Seems harmless, right? As they say in Norway, “A-ha! (Best group ever.)” Turns out he has a strained ligament in his thumb and is headed to the DL. Member when I said I dropped him about a month or so ago?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Carl Crawford left yesterday’s game with a sore shoulder. He first felt discomfort on Wednesday. In the locker room, here’s how Carl explained it, “You don’t want to feel that pain like that… I’ve never really had nothing like that before… It locked up real bad.” Now this sounds terrible, right?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Bob Feller told a story about how he once threw 117 MPH while urinating. He went on to talk about Triscuits and where he left his teeth. When he came back around to baseball, he said no one’s throwing a 1.15 ERA, even that guy with no hair.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jimmy Rollins went 0-for-4 in his return from the DL. After the game, Charlie Manuel said… Actually, no one’s sure because he was chewing a piece of straw at the time. I wouldn’t just yet start blowing your vuvuzela at your TV set that’s broadcasting the Philly game expecting an explosive 2nd half from Rollins.Please, blog, may I have some more?