Jimmy Rollins looks like he’s headed to the DL with a Grade 2 calf strain. For those non-doctors out there, that’s a calf strain that starts to learn its times tables. It hurts to lose your 2nd or 3rd round pick, but you don’t have many options here. You can’t sell him low. Assuming you need a little pick me up after getting *pinkie to mouth* decalfeinated, some MIs that are out there are McGehee, Furcal, Desmond, EverCab and O-Cab. They provide different things, but I like them to varying degrees, in that order. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Adeiny Hechavarria – Say that name fast one time! The Jays signed the 21-year-old Cuban defector. Defect had more going it against than any other word, yet the Cubans turned it into a positive. Sorta the same journey the word “special” took, but in the reverse. Hechavarria probably won’t be called up until the end of this year at the earliest. Not simply because no one can pronounce his name. (For those perfectionists out there, it’s Ah-THEY-nee Eh-CHA-bah-ree-ah.) (BTW, I always use the spellchecker when typing perfectionist. Discuss that amongst yourselves.) He’s still very raw, but in time they are likening Ah-THEY-nee to a young Alfonso Soriano. Not sure if “they” are saying a young Soriano means a Latin 21 or a Latin 25. I’d look at him in keepers, but league depth has a lot to do with your sitch. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sometimes when a player gets hurt, I feel bad if I told you to buy into them. I’m like, “Shove your emotions into your cankles, you sissy!” Alas, my inner Native American watching someone litter in a 70′s commercial comes out. A tear forms in my eye and rolls into my mustache. Then I leave it there to remind me of my fallen fantasy baseball comrades. This mustache holds a lot of tears. But when a player that I warned you against like Aaron Hill heads off to the DL with tightness in his hamstring, I do a little dance like MC Skat Cat. You know the kid in high school that wore a helmet all day that you used to make fun of? Okay, now remember when you were alone in the hallway and that same kid walk passed you and you said hello to him because no one else was around? Today, that kid is Aaron Hill’s owners. Save your ridicule until their back is turned. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jimmy Rollins – Having an MRI on his right calf strain. Mr. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Miguel Montero is out with a torn meniscus. I can think of other cuss words that his owners may be thinking right now. A knee problem seems like a bad thing for a guy who’s supposed to be crouching for 9 innings. Like a can’t-Catch 22. Montero was a popular sleeper pick to enter the premium catcher tier of Mauer/Martinez/McCann after a strong 2nd half, but the only thing he’ll have in common is the M factor. It’s unclear if he’ll be out for at least a month or longer. Either way, Snyder now has a full time gig. And that’s about where the good news ends. Don’t get caught up in the Montero afterglow. Snyder has a career .233 average in over fourteen hundred at-bats and averages about 15 homers over a full season of ABs. So, ya know, you can probably do better even if Chris Snyder hit a homer yesterday with 5 RBIs in Arizona’s blowout (last time Arizona scored that much on Pittsburgh was the Super Bowl). Actually, Snyder’s a surefire top 10 catcher if he gets 100 more games against the Pirates. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Frank Francisco – I go about buying closers like I buy wine. I pick up a closer. Swirl it around in my glass, take a quick waft and whiff then I guzzle it. Two Buck Chuck tastes the same to me as a twenty-year-old Bordeaux. In fact, I don’t even know if a twenty-year-old Bordeaux is good. I’m guessing and too lazy to Google it. I’ll drink a red wine with chicken, a Chardonnay with a Nathan all-beef frank. Doesn’t matter to me. Mad Dog 20/20 and ice passes the “cheap and it will get me drunk” test. So it’s only natural I ended up with a bunch of cheap closers. Frank-Frank was one of them. Belch. Frank2 is out for the near future in favor of Neftali Feliz. Could Feliz run with the job and end up having it all year? Yup. Frank-Frank went womp-womp. I wouldn’t drop Francisco yet, except in the shallowest of leagues. Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Rangers bullpen costing C.J. Wilson the win is like ten thousand spoons and all you need is a knife. Maybe Frank-Frank didn’t like Wilson cutting into his save chances last year. I was skeptical of Wilson moving into the rotation. I said to myself, “Grey, you’re handsome.” Wait, wrong conversation. I remember it now. “Grey, why not start Neftali Feliz? Why they fussing with C.J. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Clayton Kershaw went 4 and two-thirds innings, giving up three earned and 11 baserunners. Six of those ducks on the pond were walks. That’s 1-2-3-4-5-6 walks. Versus the Pirates. A team that had a .318 OBP last year. Sure, this year they’re starting with Robot Jones, “I must kill the Queen,” but c’mon. How did I convince myself a pitcher who can’t get through 5 innings was a good idea? I blame all of you. Someone should of said something. And if you did say something, you should used more exclamation marks or a bigger font. This is not your beautiful wife, this is not your beautiful house, this is a pitcher who walks the ballpark. On the bright side — and let’s face it, we need a bright side since not all of us live on the first floor — Kershaw was very bad last April too. He’ll get better. Or at least I keep telling myself that. Convincing, right? No, really he will. Right? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Aaron Cook – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 5 Ks. Can you smell what the Cook is rocking? Smells like Dwayne Johnson’s movie career. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Dallas Braden has 200 major league innings under his belt and his K/9 IP is a little bit over 5. In 180 IP, that’s 100 Ks. In other words, not good. In other other words, blech. In other other other words, there is no such thing as other other other words. Dallas’s 10 Ks is more a condemnation of the Mariners’ hitting (were they wearing their fielding gloves instead of batting gloves?) than something warranting reevaluation of Braden’s status as an okay 4th/5th starter in AL-only leagues. He’s not a mixed league option at this point. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ian Snell – 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 Ks. Before you get any ideas, Ryan Sweeney is the A’s three hole hitter. Ryan Sweeney sounds like the captain of your high school soccer team. Kevin Kouzmanoff is the A’s cleanup hitter. The Padres didn’t even want Kouzmanoff. ‘Nuff said on him. Ellis, Buck and Pennington is the bottom of their order. That’s a lacrosse team. Half of this lineup is playing the wrong sport. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jorge Posada’s going to hit 161 home runs (accounting for one rainout, of course), Granderson’s going to win the MVP and Big Papi still sucks. Oh, and Beckett’s record will be 0-25-1. Yes, a tie. My crystal ball doesn’t lie, don’t second guess it. Spring has sprung and baseball’s back. It’s a good time to be alive. The flowers smell different, don’t they? They smell like hot dogs. Right now, I feel like putting some endangered Chilean sea bass on the grill, an Olde English in an oversized cozy and kicking back for the next six months while the sounds of baseball dance in my head. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Lefty pitchers facing the Rangers this year just lost three Ks a game as righty, Ryan Garko, was added to the roster to spell Chris Davis. Then again, maybe not. If Seattle passed on him for a Kotchman/Sweeney blahtoon, what makes you think he’s going to light it up in Texas? Please, blog, may I have some more?
Huston Street has stopped throwing due to shoulder soreness. In other news, taco diarrhea burns. I picture Street getting together every offseason with ex-A’s teammate, Rich Harden. They go on a hike to Brokenback Mountain, where they enjoy the outdoors for 5 minutes until one of them pulls up lame. Franklin Morales is the closer now and could be for the foreseeable future. He’ll hold the reins until at least mid-May, according to the Rockies. I’d put the over/under for Street’s reemergence at June 15th. Anyway, here’s what else is going on in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into the roundup, Rudy asked me to announce there’s 3 spots left open in the last Fantasy Razzball league. Draft is this Sunday. It’s the league where you vie for the worst possible team and you can win a hot tub. That might help getting away from the dinner table on Easter. Details are here. Email rudy [at] razzball.com if you want in. Okay, back to the festivities. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Matt Lindstrom was named the Astros closer. Over/under on game-winning HRs given up to Pujols: 3. Lindstrom had a 1.65 WHIP and a 5.89 ERA last year. So, no, I don’t think he’s safe. Would I own him? Sure. I also don’t think the Astros will have that many saves so it’s not worth holding onto Brandon Lyon, unless your league’s very deep or you don’t trust yourself to be the first one to the waiver wire to grab Lyon if/or when Lindstrom’s removed from the closer role. Just think, better you wasted a low draft pick on Lyon than $5 million per year over three years. Somewhere, Ed Wade’s toupee shrugs. Anyway, here’s what else is going on in fantasy baseball:
Ian Kinsler – May start the year on the DL. More like a month of May start. Okay, if you’re not paying attention to my hints over the last two days of posts, I’m officially worried about Kinsler. If he’s not good in April and not good in the 2nd half, when’s he going to be good? May through June? I’d pull up on the Kinsler throttle if I were drafting this weekend. If you’re already pot-committed, I would just hold tight and hope for the best. You don’t short sell your 2nd round pick, unless of course you’re getting a 2nd rounder back. Why am I so worried about Kinsler and not, say, Reyes? Reyes is coming two to three rounds later. Reyes can run at full speed; Kinsler can’t run. He hasn’t been able to run since March 12th. Earth to Kinsler owners, that ain’t good. Please, blog, may I have some more?