Jordan Walden is replacing Fernando Rodney as the closer for the Angels. The Angels decided to drop a guy with two first names for a guy with two last names. Makes sense – you start a game with a guy with two first names, you close a game with a guy with two last names.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hold on one second, I’m breathing in that New Season Smell. Hmm, actually I just smell a small gas leak. Here’s hoping I make it through this post! Baseball: you make me feel like the only girl in the world! Sticks and stones may break my bones but Ks and WHIPs excite me!Please, blog, may I have some more?
ESPN tells me the Yankees and Red Sox seasons are about to begin. I’m gonna infer it’s Opening Day for the entire league since my six month egg timer is buzzing, my closet gimp is mumbling, “Baseball time…Baseball time…” and my desktop widget of Ron Jeremy shooting fireworks over Petco is exploding.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jason Bay has a strained intercostal, which is the highway that runs along Florida’s coast. Specifically, by Palm Beach where people are old and this strained whatever-the-shizz-is happens. If you were counting on a bounce back from J-Bay, you might want to count to yourself so you don’t annoy your cubicle neighbor.Please, blog, may I have some more?
From human trafficker to Rangers fifth starter, Alexi Ogando throws gas. (Maybe that’s how he got caught trafficking humans. He was mule-ing a human in his colon and accidentally threw gas. Not sure.) I say, mootie lootie doo to all of that, which means nothing, though it might in another language.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Maybe the fuel you need to burn the desire deep in your belly to be a better ballplayer comes from a fresh start. Maybe you need people to tell you you can’t do something before you can do something. Maybe this is how Morgan Freeman really talks and not just in voiceovers.Please, blog, may I have some more?
As I’ve been saying for the last month, Neftali Feliz will be the closer and he doesn’t have syphilis. Now stop experimenting on him! Feliz shoots all the way back up to the top of the Donkeycorns and can/should/verb be the top closer in the game by the end of the season.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Straight from Rudy’s risky pitcher post, “Sliders are the most effective pitch one can throw but are worse on the arm than fastballs/changeups. Pitchers who rely on sliders (15+% of pitchers) take this risk if they feel it’s the only way to reach their expected level of success.Please, blog, may I have some more?