Yesterday was Juan Rivera’s birthday. *giggles like a schoolgirl* Wait, I wanna think about how the Blue Jays cut Juan Rivera on his birthday. *giggles again* It was his birthday! Man, that is rich. The Blue Jays should’ve had someone tell Juan a passage from Ezekiel 25:17.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Replacing Phil Coke in the Tigers rotation is Charlie Furbush. It’s about time that Leyland gave Furbush a mustache ride. Furbush also sounds like a character description for someone in a Woodstock documentary. Or a character name in a 70′s porn flick made by Leyland called, “The Marlboro Mandingo.” That was co-starring Virginia Slim.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I contemplated picking up Lonnie Chisenhall for about as long as it takes me to eat a pupusa from my neighborhood El Salvadorean lady that has different hairnets to match her camisas. About 12.7 seconds. I’ll risk indigestión for those cheesy-pork flapjacks of wonderful.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The horrid season for Shin-Soo Choo continues. He’s probably wishing he just went the Bob Feller-Inglorious Basterd route and did his required military time this year in his home country. Kevin Correia said, “We could’ve used him.” Now when Choo gets blotto he can’t even hitchhike home from one side of the road.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The A’s promoted Chris Carter. Too bad Chris Carter wasn’t around when Mulder was pitching for the A’s. Then they could’ve had Scully call the game. Chris Berman looked at his stats and says, “All Chris Carter does is hit home runs!” which means he’ll kill your average, won’t steal bases, and probably won’t help your runs and RBIs.Please, blog, may I have some more?
SAT Question: Albert Pujols is to a fractured forearm as Justin Morneau is to playing every day in 2011 and you can’t take him out of your lineup. Only thing worse for Cardinal fans is if Don Denkinger announced Pujols’s fractured forearm while wearing a Wilson Betemit jersey.Please, blog, may I have some more?