There’s rumblings that Aroldis Chapman will be in the rotation.  This isn’t the first time we’ve heard this.  In fact, I think every year since Aroldis costumed himself as a giant cigar and smuggled himself in a humidor out of Cuba, there’s been rumblings that he will be in the rotation.   Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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I went into TurboTax and entered the Marlins $100 million payroll going into last season, subtracted Jose Reyes, Hanley, Josh Johnson, Buehrle, Bonifacio, Buck, Infante, Gaby, Anibal, Heath Bell and Ozzie Guillen’s salary, then I added in Gorkys, Ruggiano, Giancarlo, Wade LeBlanc, Eovaldi, Jacob Turner, Adeiny Hechavarria and Yunel’s salary and it says the Marlins can get an EBT card for their cash assistance benefits. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We laughed, we cried, we laughed and cried about Eric Hosmer.  Take off your homemade aluminum hat that you wear so aliens can’t hear your thoughts and think back to March.  You had that argument with your mom and you ran out of the house screaming, “I wish you were Evan Longoria!”  Then when he went to the DL, you ran back into your house and screamed, “I love you Mom, can I move back into the basement?!”  Then you streamed Philip Humber for his perfect game and you thought that this was a great time to change your hummingbird tattoo to a Humberbird tattoo complete with his likeness.   Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?