Oh, Hanley Ramirez is Hanley Ramirez, and a guy that will play a bit bruised giving it his all is a guy that will play a bit bruised giving it his all, and never the twain shall meet. (I think a “twain” is a train as pronounced by Elmer Fudd. Don’t quote me on that though. It could be referring to Shania. My Google’s broke so I’m shooting from the hip.) Hanley playing with Pujols’ level of dedication is probably the best shortstop anyone has ever seen. Hanley as he is now is probably Andruw Jones in five years. As I’ve said before about Manny, insouciance doesn’t age well. Hanley hasn’t played since last Wednesday, but for now he’s listed as day-to-day. Half of me says hold out hope for Hanley to return ASAP. The other half of me says he has 2 homers and 4 steals this month. You can probably find that production elsewhere in the last two weeks. Since Hanley is undroppable in most formats, it’s all probably moot. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Chris Volstad – 9 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks as he handily beat Carpenter (6 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks) and the Cardinals. I’ll tell ya what, when the Cards fold, they don’t play. Please, blog, may I have some more?
You know it’s September when I’m highlighting a guy that could possibly give you maybe one week of just slightly better-than-average stats. Enter stage left, Mark Ellis. Yesterday, he went 3-for-3 with his 4th homer on the season. Is there a meh emoticon? That’s Mark Ellis. He’s a big bottle of “Um, what the hey, I’ll grab Mark Ellis.” He is the guy on waivers that, even when hot, you don’t feel like the three clicks of the mouse to pick him up are worth it. I hear ya. I’m not exactly dropping superlatives on him like I’m Donald Trump describing anything. He’s now batting near .400 in September. Don’t make me tell you to grab him every day this week. Just get him now. He’s hot. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Jason LaRue – Due to multiple kicks to the face by Johnny Lawrence Cueto, LaRue’s retiring. Cueto obviously misunderstood when so many pitchers said they’d love to face LaRue. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jake Westbrook had everything going against him. No schools in his area had an athletic program. His mother was strung out on drugs. His father was absent from his life. Then he met Sandra Bullock. Wait, those aren’t my notes, that’s the back cover of The Blind Side DVD. Yesterday, Westbrook threw 8 IP, 0 ER, 9 baserunners, 3 Ks. Okay, in the broader sense, Westbrook is the dog’s breakfast, but you mix that with one certain pitching coach and, well… For his next trick, Dave Duncan will turn a cucumber into a pickle…mobile! I don’t think it lasts for Westbrook, but he gets the Pirates next. It’s September, you shouldn’t need more. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Tim Stauffer – 5 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 2 Ks. You don’t get them wet, you don’t expose them to light, you don’t feed them after midnight and you never start a hodgepadre away from Petco. Please, blog, may I have some more?
So far in this month of September, Troy Tulowitzki has 11 homers and 27 RBIs. This is Hungrybear9562 owning Tulo in a H2H league this month — It’s a DOUBLE HOME RUN! All the way across the sky! OH. MY. GOD. A double home run. Wait, is this a triple home run? No, it’s a double home run. It’s beautiful. *cries* The only thing ever holding Tulo back is health. If Tulo can stay healthy for an entire year… Well, look at his 2009 stats — 32 homers, 20 steals and a .297 average. Next year, he’ll only be 26-years-old and hitters tend not to peak until the age of 27. Yum with a double shot of gimme. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Eric Young Jr. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Ozzie Guillen said, “Bobby’s not my closer right now, he’s not, I’m very happy with Chris Sale. I’m not saying (Jenks has) lost his job, I have to wait to see to put him in the game to see how he’s doing… It might take a little while, maybe one day, two days, three days… a week. Unless I find out Chris Sale is Asian, then I’m gonna make him work for it.” The last line was inferred. Sale’s been lights out since his call up — 0.57 ERA in 15 2/3 IP with 21 Ks. The manager says he’s the closer, so I’m gonna say Sale’s the closer. It’s obviously not as easy as that when Ozzie’s involved. The wind could change directions, Ozzie’s weather vane that’s labeled with Putz, Jenks, Thornton and Sale could spin and someone else could be the closer by tomorrow. As of right now, I’d grab Sale. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jimmy Rollins – Sounds like he’s done for the regular season, or at least until very close to the end of the year. Rollins said, “Studies show, even if it’s a mild hamstring, even though the doctors like to say 7-to-10 days, it’s usually three weeks.” Studies, yeah. Studies of Jimmy Rollins. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Joey Votto went 2-for-4 with his 34th homer and 14th steal. Tomorrow, the MVP. He didn’t have the biggest offensive day for all hitters yesterday, but he’s getting the lead today. Wanna know why? Cause I’ve been shot by Cupid and I love Joey Votto. True story, I walked into an ice cream parlor and asked for a Joey Votto. The guy behind the counter said, “I don’t know what you mean.” I punched him in his mouth. Here’s what I said last December, “If Votto continues to progress, you’re looking at a guy that could easily give you 32 homers, 10 steals and a .300 average. Want more? If you buy into Joey Votto for 2010, I’ll also throw in a climbing walk rate and OPS for absolutely free! Don’t want it? Who cares, it’s free!” And that’s me quoting me! Finally, know who I’m probably not going to be able to afford in 2011 drafts? Votto, my love! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jay Bruce – 3-for-4, 2 Runs, 4 RBIs and 2 homers as he lives up to his Septacular reputation. Last September, he hit 4 homers and .353 in only 34 ABs after not hitting above .258 in any other month. Had 7 homers in September of 2008. Play Bruce in the Venezuelan Winter League and he’ll win an MVP. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kyle Drabek, the Blue Jays top pitching prospect, was called up to start on Wednesday vs. the O’s. Kyle Drabek is 24th on the top 50 prospects for fantasy baseball. He has top of the rotation stuff and a good pedigree with his dad being the former Cy Young winner, Doug. Or Guod if you’re dyslexic. Or “Hey, look a bird,” if you have ADHD. Well… Kyle Drabek had top of the rotation stuff. Now he looks closer to a number 2 or 3. His strikeout rate went from 10+ K/9 in A to 7+ in Double-A. Word on the street is his velocity is down. He’s obviously too young to write off. Velocity could return with the gaudy Ks. In keepers, I’d grab him in AL-Only, obviously. In mixed league keepers, it needs to be deep for him to have any real value. For this year, I’d be very cautious about starting him anywhere. In his first two starts, he gets the M’s and O’s, or the Mo’s. Not bad matchups, but starting rookie pitchers in the final weeks of the season is asking for trouble. You just have no idea what he’s going to do in his cup of coffee, he may or may not get creamed. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Adam Lind – 1-for-2 with 22nd homer. I’m sorry, I will like him again next year. I’ll love him if he can train with the guy who trained Zobrist in the winter of 2009 and Bautista last winter. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ryan Perry got the save yesterday because Jose Valverde is out with a tender elbow. Valverde isn’t supposed to be out long but whenever a reliever’s elbow is in question — or any pitcher, for that matter — it’s cause for concern. With the Tigers playing for nothing, they could shut Valverde down. Phil Coke could see some situational saves. When reached for comment about his new role, Phil Coke said, “This is it?” By the way, he’s the best lefty reliever synonymous with Coke since Steve Howe. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Johnny Damon – 4-for-4, 2 Runs and an RBI. Not a bad day to stream him into my lineup. Hit the wall, turn on the lights, blow on my fist, rub fist on leather jacket and say, “Ayyyyyy.” (Wasn’t as great a day to stream Casper Wells or Don Kelly, who’s also known as LL Donkey.)
Rick Porcello – 8 IP, 3 ER, 4 baserunners, 3 K. It’s legitimately hard for me to give a non-hedged endorsement to Porcello. I don’t like his lack of Ks, but at this stage in the year, all’s fair in love and the waiver wire. Porcello’s pitching well and gets the Royals in his start after next. His next start vs. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Brian Duensing continued his hellish streak with an 8 inning 1 ER, 7 K game. While he was able to strikeout 7 of the peasant Royals, his K rate has been around 5 per 9 inning for the past three years in the minors and majors. You know how many great pitchers get by with that type of K-rate? None. Though sometimes a pitcher can sell their soul for a year (see Scott Feldman 2009). Doesn’t mean you can’t throw some caution to the wind. When I was going over the borderline starter post that is coming later today, I noticed Duensing still isn’t owned anywhere. He has a 2.02 ERA in 107 2/3 IP. Seriously, you can look it up if you want… Though that might hurt the trust we’ve built over the summer. We used to be so carefree, me and you. Frolicking through dandelions, playing catch with that raccoon carcass. What about those times we had? Please, blog, may I have some more?
I wanna just throw away this first start by Yunesky Maya. Just ignore it. The reason why I’m having a hard time throwing it away, young Razzball reader, is because I watched him pitch. I’m no scout with fancy scouting degrees from fancy scouting schools where people chew toothpicks and spit chew. I just know what I see. And what I saw yesterday was a guy who throws junk. His stuff didn’t look very overpowering. Reminded me a bit of El Duque without the Funky Cold Delivery. Maybe Maya’s start yesterday was due to nerves. It’s not easy to live up to some recent Cuban raftees. Maya’s Cuban league numbers tell us he’s a guy who should be owned in keepers and dynasty leagues. He did, after all, win The Luis Tiant, the Cuban Cy Young award. And potentially even more enticing with Maya is he’s already 29-years-old, which means he should be in the prime of his career. In redraft leagues, losing to Dillon Gee, who sounds like a bank robber from the 1890s, isn’t a great confidence boost to recommend him for 2010. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Josh Hamilton – With me away on vacation for Labor Day, obviously no one took up the slack to pray every 2 hours towards Mecca that Hamilton wouldn’t get injured. Thanks, guys (and 3 girls)! (How was my vacation? Thanks for asking! It was all right. You know how when you don’t look at something for a while you come back to it with fresh eyes and see things differently? It’s the Jigsaw Puzzle Theorem as demonstrated by your 12-year-old nephew who can’t figure out how to complete the 101 Dalmatians jigsaw then, when he revisits it the next day, it all fits into place. That’s what happened with me. I had this stain dead center on my monitor for the better part of 3 months then, when I returned yesterday, I realized it was just dried tomato sauce and scratched it off with a fingernail. Puttanesca, you dirty sauce!)
Elvis Andrus – Will be out until Friday with hammy woes. I still like Elvis and his bedazzled upside for next year, but you need to find someone who’s producing this year in redraft leagues. (BTW, I have a fat Elvis picture across from my refrigerator in a room I call my kitsch’n.)
David Murphy – 3-for-4 and hitting .400 over the last week. Also hitting third with Hamilton out. He gets a lefty today (bleh) but then some righties. Please, blog, may I have some more?