Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes

Grey

Many Javy Returns

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 166 Comments

by:

Javier Vazquez touched you in your no-no area for two months to the point where just looking at his name made you crawl up into a ball and cry, but yesterday he flirted with a no-no for seven innings.  He held the 1927 Blue Jays to only one hit, a home run by HGH Wells.  (In a strange twist, Bautista didn’t homer, but he did have sex with your wife.  Don’t shoot the messenger!)  So can Javier Vazquez now be trusted?  The better question is did anyone really think he was the 8 ERA pitcher he was showing in April and May?  Come on, this is baseball.  It’s a sport of aberrations from day-to-day and week-to-week and month-to-month, but, in the end, people find their level.  Vazquez is more or less a 4.50 ERA pitcher in the AL.  So you need some months of dreckitude surrounded by some months of usability.  Vazquez is still walking too many guys and, other than him striking out 9 Blue Kays yesterday and the Suckie-O’s the game before, his Ks have been down.  So usable, but don’t expect a full return of 2009 Vazquez.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Mike Stanton – He’s coming up on Tuesday.  Can you hear that?  It’s my heart going pitter patter.  Put your ear up to the computer monitor, you’ll hear it.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

From Mattadors to DoorMatts

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 96 Comments

by:

Matt Lindstrom threw 1 IP, 2 ER and his second blown save in two games and third in his last four.  If you’re not reading this until Sunday, he probably blew another game.  Oops, there goes another one.  I grabbed Brandon Lyon in two leagues where he was available.  If it was simply Lindstrom sucking, I’d say you can hold off, but Lindstrom said he has mechanical issues.  You know what mechanical issues are code for, right?  A breakdown.  In the mean’s while, Lyon is just okay.  If I said he was good, I’d be (Mad Lib in your own pun).  But Lyon does have closing experience, so there’s that junebug on the duck’s back or some other yokelism.  As for Matt Capps, his rope is a bit longer, but his shakes haven’t been great either.  Yesterday, he went 2/3 IP, 3 unearned runs and the third time he was Cappsized this year.  Ticker shock due to Cristian Guzman playing about fifty feet too far behind 2nd.  It was Guzman’s third error of the game.  [mind-boggling] I realize the Nats are the Nots without Guzman and all, but there really should’ve been a defensive replacement in this game.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey / Rudy

Flat-Billed Pitchypus Hopes To Avoid Extinction

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 235 Comments

by:

Dontrelle Willis, the flat-billed pitchypus in question, was traded to the Diamondbacks for a half-used #2 pencil and a race car-shaped eraser.  When a team trades a guy and still has to pay the majority of his salary, it’s usually not a good sign.  I have maintained in the past that maybe the only thing eating at Dontrelle was the Tigers taking away the best aspect of his game –> his hitting.  It’s still not a reason to pick him up.  It’s not like the Diamondbacks stadium is a pitchers’ haven.  Let someone else take the flat-billed pitchypus under their wing and nurture it back to health.  Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Mark Teixeira – Day-to-day after he left the game with a bruised foot, which is far less tasty than a braised foot.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Eyes Wells, Followed By Salivary Glands

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 323 Comments

by:

On short rest, Randy Wells went five innings, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks.  Oh, and I’m drunk.  Don’t know what that has to do with anything, but I thought you should know for the following.  I love Randy Wells!  There, I said it.  He’s striking out hitters and keeping walks to a minimum.  His FIP is saying he’s been unlucky, even if he was outpitched by Ohlendorf.  Will the person with the license plate “O Da Dorf,” please move their car?  Hmm… Maybe I should sleep off my buzz before doing the roundup?  Nah…If Hemingway can write The Sun Also Rises drunk, I can write a roundup.  The EL Camino with the license plate “O Da Dorf” is parked on the front lawn with its engine running.  We’re gonna have to ask you to move that…  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Andrew Cashner – The Cubs called him up.  Stephen literally just went over him in a Scouting the Unknown.  You heard stick and move.  Try click and skim.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

The Limp-Off Home Run

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 184 Comments

by:

Kendry Morales could miss the rest of the season after breaking his leg during the celebration of his walk-off grand slam.  Too bad the Wide World of Sports isn’t still on.  They could’ve covered the agony and the ecstasy all in one full swoop.  This injury reminds me of the time Justin Duchscherer heard The Hokey Pokey and in celebration put his right hip out.  And didn’t put his right hip back in for six to eight months later.  In place of Kendry, the Angels could call up Mark Trumbo.  In AL-Only leagues, he’s worth grabbing for his power potential.  In 47 games, he has 11 homers, but it’s also in the PCL, so there’s your grain of salt.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Howie Kendrick – 2-for-5, 4 RBIs and two home runs.  Second home run was a game winner but there was no need for pylons around yesterday’s pile-on.  The celebration was kept in check by Scioscia.  He said under no circumstances is anyone supposed to injury another teammate in a celebration unless that player is Mike Napoli.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Rolen, Rolen, Rolen… His Bandwagon’s Rolling

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 90 Comments

by:

Scott Rolen went 2-for-4 as he hit his 3rd homer in the last week.  Now has 11 homers and 30 RBIs.  I’d say he’s in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell, but he’s not.  He almost was then I thought about what I would write about him.  I didn’t want to write about how I wasn’t sure what to write about him.  I figured that was pointless.  Wait…  Oh.  Soooo, Rolen will hit 25 homers this year with a decent average and RBIs or he’ll get hurt and play only 100 games.  I’m thinking the latter happens, but I’d own him if I needed power for a chance at the former.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Johnny Cueto – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

The Hisanori Roll

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 145 Comments

by:

Hisanori Takahashi had a nearly identical line last night as his last start; 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks.  A) I’m chalking it up to his histrionic delivery.  All of it.  You baffle people who haven’t seen you when you throw the ball between your legs and shake your tukis afterwards.  B) Did I just say tukis?  Hey, I’m Eli Whiteside!  C) He could continue to baffle people for a good couple of months.  D) He plays in Metco.  E) I can’t believe there was a D let alone an E.  F) A long long way to run.  G) He gets the Padres next.  H) He’s in the NL on a team that can win some games.  Why not own him?  Seriously, grab him now.  I) Am writing this.  J) Buhner.  K)  There’s no K, there’s never a K.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jose Reyes – 2-for-4 and a home run.  Thank you, Lord.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Don’t Top Your Staff With Crushed Orioles

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 223 Comments

by:

Chris Tillman will start Saturday for the Orioles.  He’s yet another prospiñata for the Orioles.  They’re fun to play with until they get the stuffing beat out of them by the Yanks, Sawx, Rays or Blue Ks.  Before picking up Tillman, do me one favor.  Ask Matusz’s owners how the experience has been owning him.  Though since they’re probably your competition they may lie to you.  Those bastards!  Maybe you can ask Matusz yourself since he’s probably on your waivers.  Can Tillman be lights out?  I suppose.  Is he worth a flier in 12 team leagues?  Eh, if expectations are in check.  You should proceed with caution.  Or you can pull the ol’ “You gotta use your waiver claim, sucker” trick with Tillman.  Let me explain the unfortunately named “You gotta use your waiver claim, sucker” trick.  You grab Tillman off waivers, then the next day you drop him so someone (<– the sucker) uses their waiver claim to get roofied.  Ah, yes.  That stings.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Frank Mata – Will Ohman seems to be the leading candidate for saves, but Mata’s a dark horse for saves (that’s not racist).  He was the closer in Triple-A Norfolk, which is only slightly below the Orioles in the ESPN power rankings.  I don’t think the O’s will/should throw Mata right into the fire, but they did that with Alfredo Simon, so there’s that.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey / Rudy

To The Victor Toes The Spoils

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 110 Comments

by:

Victor Martinez left the game after fouling the ball off his foot.  Wanna know our trade luck?  We just traded Jason Bay, Cervelli and Mike Gonzalez for V-Mart, Boesch and Desmond.  Is this karma for punting catchers in so many leagues over the years?  I hate you, fantasy baseball Gods.  You smite my team while I give you love.  I.  Give.  You.  Love!  Oh, bee tee dubya, V-Mart’s day-to-day.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Mike Cameron – Returning on Tuesday.  Didn’t I already talk about this schomhawk?  Oh, yeah, I did.  (The “I did” link we lead you to the answer.  If you ignore the answer, skip 7 pages ahead and slay the dragon.)

Adrian Beltre – 3-for-4, 1 RBI.  If you would’ve popped your head out of a DeLorean in the preseason and told me at the end of May Adrian Beltre would be hitting .335, I would’ve told you he’s headed for fantasy MVP honors.  Crazy how far his power has disappeared.

Please, blog, may I have some more?