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Yasmani Grandal is starring in an off-off Broadway production of OBPwulf.  Since everyone was supposed to read Beowulf, but no one has actually ever read it, the play starts with Grandal standing on first after a walk, and then he stands there and stands there and stands there, waiting for another Padre hitter to get him to 2nd base.   Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yankee pitchers haven’t been hit this hard since Ed Whitson ran into a Billy Martin drinking jag.  You know, Yogi’s always the one quoted from the Yankee archives, but Billy had some good ones too.  Here’s my favorite, “I’d like to mouth f*** that bottle of whiskey.”  Before the Yankees game, CC Sabathia hit the DL with an abductor strain in his groin.  Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As I announced yesterday after inferring things from elsewhere, it’s official.  Anthony Rizzo will be in tonight’s lineup vs. the Mets.  I’d continue to paint the walls of your brain with more praise, but I think we’ve heard enough.  If I effuse anymore, you Rizzo owners aren’t going to be able to get into your pants anymore.  Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Roy Oswalt made his much anticipated debut in Texas last night and grabbed his first win, pitching 6.2 innings and striking out 9 Rockies. He surrendered 9 hits and had to throw 110 pitches, but otherwise looked solid. Oswalt cruised through the first 6 innings — his fastball was topping out in the low 90s and his slow curve looked especially nasty.  Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?