Ryan Madson went to the DL with numbness in his pitching hand. Hello, bullpen? Is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me. Brad Lidge is due back in a few weeks. AHHHHH! Now you feel a little sick.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I contemplated picking up Lonnie Chisenhall for about as long as it takes me to eat a pupusa from my neighborhood El Salvadorean lady that has different hairnets to match her camisas. About 12.7 seconds. I’ll risk indigestión for those cheesy-pork flapjacks of wonderful.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The horrid season for Shin-Soo Choo continues. He’s probably wishing he just went the Bob Feller-Inglorious Basterd route and did his required military time this year in his home country. Kevin Correia said, “We could’ve used him.” Now when Choo gets blotto he can’t even hitchhike home from one side of the road.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The A’s promoted Chris Carter. Too bad Chris Carter wasn’t around when Mulder was pitching for the A’s. Then they could’ve had Scully call the game. Chris Berman looked at his stats and says, “All Chris Carter does is hit home runs!” which means he’ll kill your average, won’t steal bases, and probably won’t help your runs and RBIs.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sounds like Ike Davis is done for the year. He could be facing microfracture ankle surgery. Man, will the Mets ever catch a big break? First, Beltran had microfracture surgery on his knee, and now Davis. What’s with the Mets and tiny surgery?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jhoulys Chacin was walking more yesterday than my grandfather on a treadmill behind a hot number (his words). Yo-leash’s line 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners (6 walks), 7 Ks. Am I worried that Chacin isn’t going to have a sub-3 ERA all year?Please, blog, may I have some more?
SAT Question: Albert Pujols is to a fractured forearm as Justin Morneau is to playing every day in 2011 and you can’t take him out of your lineup. Only thing worse for Cardinal fans is if Don Denkinger announced Pujols’s fractured forearm while wearing a Wilson Betemit jersey.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Wilson Betemit collided with Albert Pujols and… Why is Wilson Betemit playing?! He never plays. Doesn’t your Quad-A Beer Pong Tournament partner, Shelley Duncan, need you for a tourney? Manzo! (Which is my new favorite exclamation that means nothing.) Another tough break (strain?) for a high draft pick.Please, blog, may I have some more?
J.J. Hardy has been hotter than a Latin woman frying chorizo in the Sahara desert. Why she is in the Sahara is fodder for a J.J. Abrams movie. In 2008, Hardy hit 24 homers and .283 in his fourth big league season.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Dustin Ackley was recalled (don’t ask why it’s recalled and not called up, baseball’s arcane at times). Here’s what I said when he was about to get the call a little under a month ago, “Guess what ya’ll we’re gonna talk about the Mariners!Please, blog, may I have some more?