Phils decided they wanted to get younger for Friday’s game so they’re bringing up this guy from the minors. They say he’s got good power, but he’s been playing first base on a foot stool. At least they could’ve got Ryan Howard one of those giant Rawlings glove bean bags.Please, blog, may I have some more?
“That guy looks vaguely familiar.” “Which guy?” “That guy on the mound.” “The Chris Tillman fella?” “Yeah.” “Did he used to serve us coffee at the Blue Danube?” “I don’t think so. That guy’s name was Ronnie. And he had dreads.” “But he was white.” “Yeah, Ronnie was a white guy with dreads.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Tim Lincecum has a 6.07 ERA. Seriously, we’re in July and Lincecum’s ERA is six point oh seven. There’s ugly. There’s brutal. There’s murderous. There’s the guy with the goiter down the street from you that you talked to at a red light once and now he wants to hang out.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yasmani Grandal is starring in an off-off Broadway production of OBPwulf. Since everyone was supposed to read Beowulf, but no one has actually ever read it, the play starts with Grandal standing on first after a walk, and then he stands there and stands there and stands there, waiting for another Padre hitter to get him to 2nd base.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yankee pitchers haven’t been hit this hard since Ed Whitson ran into a Billy Martin drinking jag. You know, Yogi’s always the one quoted from the Yankee archives, but Billy had some good ones too. Here’s my favorite, “I’d like to mouth f*** that bottle of whiskey.” Before the Yankees game, CC Sabathia hit the DL with an abductor strain in his groin.Please, blog, may I have some more?
As I announced yesterday after inferring things from elsewhere, it’s official. Anthony Rizzo will be in tonight’s lineup vs. the Mets. I’d continue to paint the walls of your brain with more praise, but I think we’ve heard enough. If I effuse anymore, you Rizzo owners aren’t going to be able to get into your pants anymore.Please, blog, may I have some more?