Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes

Grey

Rizzo, “Hey I’m Playing In The Majors Here!”

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As I announced yesterday after inferring things from elsewhere, it’s official.  Anthony Rizzo will be in tonight’s lineup vs. the Mets.  I’d continue to paint the walls of your brain with more praise, but I think we’ve heard enough.  If I effuse anymore, you Rizzo owners aren’t going to be able to get into your pants anymore.  Let’s look at reality for a second, last year he hit 1 homer and .141 in 49 games and 128 ABs.  I didn’t make those numbers up.  I seriously just looked them up on the Al Gore-invented Internet.  One homer, .141 average.  That sounds downright Zimmermanian.  Sure, it was in Petco (for his home games), and the only one that likes to hit there is Tony Gwynn and he’s hitting the buffet.  Is it totally outta the realm of possibility that Anthony falls flatso?  Noppers.  Right now, Rizzo might be at the height of his value.  Say you have Konerko, Middlebrooks and really no room for Rizzo, except by clogging up your Utility spot.  I wouldn’t hold onto Rizzo waiting for his value to possibly drop out.  It might take alligator blood to trade Rizzo right now, but to the bold go the fantasy spoils, or whatever that cliche is.   This is not to say I think he will Triple Lindy back into Triple-A, but it’s out there as a possibility.  You didn’t just back up into Miguel Cabrera off of waivers.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Travis Wood – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks.  You know something the media hasn’t covered much?  What a great year it is for pitchers with double entendre last names.  We haven’t seen anything like this since The Big Unit tried a backdoor cutter.  Wood has a K:BB 35:20 in 48 1/3 IP.  That’s fine for NL-Only leagues, but I’d be careful letting Wood poke around my mixed league team.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Dan Pants

Roy Oswalker, Texas Ranger

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Roy Oswalt made his much anticipated debut in Texas last night and grabbed his first win, pitching 6.2 innings and striking out 9 Rockies. He surrendered 9 hits and had to throw 110 pitches, but otherwise looked solid. Oswalt cruised through the first 6 innings — his fastball was topping out in the low 90s and his slow curve looked especially nasty.  Roy ran into trouble in the 7th and after giving up back-to-back hits to Dexter Fowler and Marco Scutaro, he was pulled.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Brandon’s Elbow Hurts Like A Son Of A Beachy

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Brandon Beachy left Saturday’s start with a sore elbow.  Usually when pitchers have a sore elbow it means one of two things.  One, they’re going on the DL for a long period of time.  Or two, they’re going to say they’re going on the DL for only 15 days but it will be a long time.  Yeah, those are kinda the same things, but it adds a little flare when I break them up into two things.  My English Comp professor would’ve said, “Grey, you add filler on top of your filler then you put commas where they’re not supposed to be then, add more filler.  Have you considered a math major?”  I told you to sell him about two weeks ago, but I understand how hard it is to sell an overperformer, so many of you were probably stuck with Beachy, or stranded, as the case may be.  I’d DL him and hope for better news heretothen.  Bee tee dubya, I just made up heretothen.  Pretty good, right?  Feel free to use it for the rest of twelve after twenty.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Kris Medlen – The Braves stretched out Medlen, then yo-yo’d all over the place with what he should and would be doing.  Fredi Gonzalez said, “I have enough problems to worry about since I can’t pitch Venters 400 innings this year.”  Now with Beachy’s injury, Medlen remains in the bullpen.  Yup.  Instead, the Braves are filling Beachy’s rotation spot with Jair Jurrjens.  Obviously, the Braves management threw a dart at a board to fill the rotation spot and said dart landed in a nearby toilet.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Dan Pants

Marmol Returns to Closer Role, Cubs Fans Collectively Sigh

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Carlos Marmol regained the ninth inning duties Friday night as he was called upon to get the save against Boston. Manager Dale Sveum explained he needed more stability and consistency from the tail end of the bullpen. You can’t argue Marmol hasn’t consistently given poor Cubs fans multiple heart attacks (they’re from Chicago so they naturally have multiple attacks). Carlos didn’t waste any time getting back to his old ways; with a 3-0 lead he loaded the bases, walking a batter and giving up a hit.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Lincecum Has Hand In Perfecto, Updates Wikipedia For Cain

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We all need a little wonder, so let me pose a question to you after this clunky intro.  Was Matt Cain‘s perfect game the best one game pitching performance in major league history?  I pose that question to you, young prematurely balding man, not to answer.  Remember, I can’t hear you, unless you scream louder than 200 decibels.  I pose this to you to put awe in your heart.  A piece of childhood shoved right into your aorta.  I’m saying, remove your short-sleeved button down shirt, and let me touch your heart with my question.  A 14 K perfect game is kinda hard to top.  I mean, I liked Pedro Martinez body slamming Don Zimmer as much as the next man, but the only pitcher to have 14 Ks in a perfect game was Sandy Koufax and he was coming off a Shabbos.   Yesterday, was pure shock and “Aw crap, why don’t I have him on one single team?!  I love Matt Cain!  Bumgarner, you better throw a 15 K perfecto next time out!”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brandon Belt – 2-for-3 and his 2nd homer in as many games.  There’s gonna be some hot schmotatos mentioned further down this post, even a hot thotato, but Belt is an immediate pick up.  If he’s clicking, he could be a top twelve 1st baseman, like fo’ reals fo’ reals.

Please, blog, may I have some more?