You walking out of your H2H draft, “I might have overspent on Tulo but, as long as I have him in September, I’m fine. Now where are those cigars I’ve been saving for the birth of my firstborn? I need a stogie up in here!” You might’ve just got your wish.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Colby Rasmus took the Miller Park crowd and said, “How ya like me now?!” Then they said, “We don’t really know you, because the Blue Jays/Brewers rivalry extends only about an hour or so, unless you count that time Rance Mulliniks said this town was nothing but a bunch of Lenny and Squiggys.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Brandon Beachy left Saturday’s start with a sore elbow. Usually when pitchers have a sore elbow it means one of two things. One, they’re going on the DL for a long period of time. Or two, they’re going to say they’re going on the DL for only 15 days but it will be a long time. Yeah, those are kinda the same things, but it adds a little flare when I break them up into two things. My English Comp professor would’ve said, “Grey, you add filler on top of your filler then you put commas where they’re not supposed to be then, add more filler. Have you considered a math major?” I told you to sell him about two weeks ago, but I understand how hard it is to sell an overperformer, so many of you were probably stuck with Beachy, or stranded, as the case may be. I’d DL him and hope for better news heretothen. Bee tee dubya, I just made up heretothen. Pretty good, right? Feel free to use it for the rest of twelve after twenty. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Kris Medlen – The Braves stretched out Medlen, then yo-yo’d all over the place with what he should and would be doing. Fredi Gonzalez said, “I have enough problems to worry about since I can’t pitch Venters 400 innings this year.” Now with Beachy’s injury, Medlen remains in the bullpen. Yup. Instead, the Braves are filling Beachy’s rotation spot with Jair Jurrjens. Obviously, the Braves management threw a dart at a board to fill the rotation spot and said dart landed in a nearby toilet.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Carlos Marmol regained the ninth inning duties Friday night as he was called upon to get the save against Boston. Manager Dale Sveum explained he needed more stability and consistency from the tail end of the bullpen. You can’t argue Marmol hasn’t consistently given poor Cubs fans multiple heart attacks (they’re from Chicago so they naturally have multiple attacks). Carlos didn’t waste any time getting back to his old ways; with a 3-0 lead he loaded the bases, walking a batter and giving up a hit.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It hasn’t been easy owning Matt Wieters this year. After a monster April (.279 / 6 HR / 15 RBI), he had an Arencibian May (.188 / 2 HR / 7 RBI). All the while, catchers on the waiver wire like A.J.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We all need a little wonder, so let me pose a question to you after this clunky intro. Was Matt Cain‘s perfect game the best one game pitching performance in major league history? I pose that question to you, young prematurely balding man, not to answer. Remember, I can’t hear you, unless you scream louder than 200 decibels. I pose this to you to put awe in your heart. A piece of childhood shoved right into your aorta. I’m saying, remove your short-sleeved button down shirt, and let me touch your heart with my question. A 14 K perfect game is kinda hard to top. I mean, I liked Pedro Martinez body slamming Don Zimmer as much as the next man, but the only pitcher to have 14 Ks in a perfect game was Sandy Koufax and he was coming off a Shabbos. Yesterday, was pure shock and “Aw crap, why don’t I have him on one single team?! I love Matt Cain! Bumgarner, you better throw a 15 K perfecto next time out!” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brandon Belt – 2-for-3 and his 2nd homer in as many games. There’s gonna be some hot schmotatos mentioned further down this post, even a hot thotato, but Belt is an immediate pick up. If he’s clicking, he could be a top twelve 1st baseman, like fo’ reals fo’ reals.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Clay Buchholz went down to Miami and, like most visiting Northeasterns, retired….Marlin batters that is! While his 7-2 record is due to Nova-esque luck and run support vs. year to date performance (5.00+ ERA), this is his 4th straight start of 7+ IP, 2 ER or less, and 6+ K. Maybe there’s some truth to that whole “rediscovered his changeup thing” (and can he share it with Lester?). He’s a must pick up in all leagues for as long as he’s on this roll. Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brian Roberts – The concusstador is back in style going 3-for-4 hitting leadoff. Robert Andino can now wait in his shadow and mutter to himself that if his parents named him Jerry, he’d be such a comedy hit that they’d have to start him. During Roberts’s rehab in Triple-A, he hit around .245 with one homer in 45 ABs and no steals. If he can stay healthy, I expect about the same from him in the majors. For the rest of the season, put his stats at nothing/nada/not so good/bleh/more of the same. If he can get his bleh over .280, his nothing could be better than nothing, but for that he has to stay healthy, which is as likely as me removing my personal mustache groomer from my rider.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Brandon Morrow left yesterday’s game with an oblique injury that was considered substantial. Sounds like he’s headed to the DL. I’d gloat, but then he’ll return in three days and hit .400 for a month with little power. I’d say I told you to sell Morrow, but no one likes an “I told you so.” They’re more unlikable than that Joe fella from MasterChef. I’m just going to say one thing, I feel really sorry for Morrow’s owners. But I said that sarcastically. Ooh, the reverse middle finger roll! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Carl Crawford – About two weeks away from game action. Vegas just set the over/under for his next setback at two weeks.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kendrys returns (or is the verb singular there?) this year, but can’t play every day, and when he does, he needs to DH. So, since Mark Trumbo fields about as well as Dalton Trumbo fielded commie accusations, it seemed like Trumbo (Mark) would be benched a lot. In years past, Scioscia would’ve went with some variation of a light-hitting middle infielder with a good glove — “You can’t teach moxie! Moxie’s innate! Chone Figgins had so much moxie. He could’ve played 3rd base, 2nd base and waitressed at a diner from midnight to 8 AM.” That’s a direct quote from Scioscia’s autobiography, “Crouching Angel, Hidden Drag Bunt.” But maybe Scioscia learned himself something because Trumbo is playing every day, and hitting well. Yesterday, he went 2-for-3, 2 runs, 6 RBIs and his 13th and 14th homers. Right now, Trumbo’s hitting .326. That’s probably through his ceiling for average, through the ceiling above it and out the roof. He could hit 50 to 60 points below that. There’s still plenty of value here. He’s on his way to 30-plus homers, solid counting stats and 10-plus steals. Basically, what you hope you get from Pujols at this point. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Scott Downs – And just when you think The Sciosciapath has his harsh mellowed over the closer sitch, he goes and flips the script. Colvin and CarGo, two lefties, were due up in the ninth, so I’m guessing he went with Downs there for that reason. I’d continue to hold Frieri, but obviously Downs isn’t out of the picture completely. He’s kinda photobombing the closer picture, actually.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Fenway Park hosted the Washington Nationals for the first time in six years last night, and after being swept in a 3-game series in 2006, Washington was eager to show off their new National Treasures. Those treasures I speak of are, of course, Bryce Harper, Stephen Strasburg and Nicholas Cage.Please, blog, may I have some more?