Trevor Plouffe is returning from the DL and that’s big news because it’s big news. If you would’ve jumped out of a DeLorean back in March and told me I’d actually be writing a lede for Trevor Plouffe, let alone just a lede because he’s returning from the DL, I would’ve told you there’s no way Plouffe would warrant a lede and this is the information you bring back from the future?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Baltimore Orioles’ top prospect Manny Machado showed us exactly why he’s their top prospect last night, putting on an impressive display of power in just his second major league game with two home runs and four RBIs. OMGDROPEVERYTHINGANDGOPICKHIMUP!!! Well, not exactly.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s time for us as a people to start makin’ some changes. Let’s change the way we eat, let’s change the way we live and let’s change the way we treat each other. You see the old way wasn’t working so it’s on us to do what we gotta do, to survive.Please, blog, may I have some more?
And another rookie is called up. It’s raining rookies that I will pick up for a few days and then drop if they don’t pan out in a matter of three days. First, let’s see what our prospect writer, Scott, said just four days ago about Manny Machado, “Machado’s line on the year at Double-A isn’t pretty: .266/.350/.431, 10 HR. Still, he’s not slipping much in mid-season prospect rankings, as scouts and pundits continue to believe in his tools. At just 20 years old, there’s ample time for him to play up to his potential, and I’m inclined to agree with the masses — Machado is still a future fantasy stud.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Desperate housewives and team owners rejoice – Evan Longoria is back and he has the mysterious, bedroom-eyed Giancarlo Stanton with him. Woo-hoo! Tommy Hutton be my Marlins docent and read me Giancarlo’s stat line. No, a little to the right. Ah, yeah, that’s the stuff.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Brewers called up shortstop, Jean Segura. Woohoo! Now, on various teams, I have Domonic Brown, Mike Olt, Straily, Starling Marte, Brett Jackson, Josh Vitters and some serious Short Eyes. I’m basically the creepy guy hanging around the playground in my Astrovan, blasting “Hey Nineteen” wearing candy jewelry like I’m Mr.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Josh Vitters and Brett Jackson were called up on Sunday. Here’s what I just said on Friday when I told you to pick Vitters up, “(He) comes with high expectations simply because Cubs fans are like a 104-year-old virgin who would just love to touch the playoffs’ boobies.Please, blog, may I have some more?
C.C. Sabathia was sensational Friday night as he held the Mariners to 3 runs and just 3 hits in a complete game, striking out 10. With the loss, the Mariners impressive win streak ends at seven. Poor Sea-Seattle, but no surprise their impossible dream ends in Yankee Stadium.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Oakland A’s called up their prized prospect, Daniel Straily, to start tonight. Their prized prospect that no one even heard of before this year. Is that egg on your face, Keith Law? ”Actually, it’s a sous vide’d ostrich egg with fleur de sel.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Don’t you love when New Yorkers say the expression, “I got your _____ right here!” Coming out of the right taxi driver’s mouth, it’s like a cello being played by Yo-Yo Ma. Sometimes it can get confusing when you are actually trying to tell someone you’ve located something.Please, blog, may I have some more?