Reds announced that Joey Votto is able to return. Crickets, pin dropping, echo…echo…echo… “God? It’s me, Dusty Baker. If I need him, is Votto ready to pitch?” ”I’m afraid not, Dusty. He’s not a pitcher.” ”In the traditional sense?” ”In every sense.” ”How about as a reliever?” ”No, Dusty.” ”As a LOOGY?” ”Fine, Dusty.” ”Thanks!
Please, blog, may I have some more?Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes
This weekend, my Cougar’s dog had diarrhea all over my foot. So, I wrote a list of Don’ts and taped it to his bed. 1. Do not poop my foot. 2. Do not ever poop my foot. Seriously. 3. There’s no three.
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Yesterday, Jason Kipnis went 2-for-4 with his 13th homer. Member when he had 11 homers going into the All-Star break and we were like, “Yo, I’d let Kipnis sleep with my baby’s mama. He earned that shizz, yo. Just make sure you change the sheets, that’s all I ask.
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It didn’t take long for Josh Beckett to cause people to question the heart of the Dodgers staff. And they didn’t even have to send them a Valentine. Look, we wouldn’t wish a heart issue on anyone but of all the Dodger closers over the years, why Kenley Jansen?
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It’s a wrap for Jose Bautista in 2012. See you around like a donut in 2013. It’s far from breaking news that he’s done for the year. It looked like it was headed that way for the last few days. As an aptly-named, pessimistic Polish man would be named, Bummerooski.
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There’s some strong indications that Shelby Miller could be called up by the Cards when the rosters expand on September 1st. ”Why should we care about some stunod with a 4.89 ERA in Triple-A? Hey, Grey, we care about stunods now?” That’s you talking to yourself just as a pretty girl walks by and thinks you’re crazy for talking to yourself.
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Holy waiver wire! In a season full of devastating losses for the Boston Red Sox, Thursday’s 14-13 extra inning defeat ranks up there as 2012′s most devastatingest. After Alfredo Aceves blew the lead, giving up 5 ER on 6 hits including 2 home runs, the Sox star “slugger” Adrian Gonzalez struck out with a man on base to end the game.
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Yesterday, Alex Cobb threw a 4-hit, 2-walk shutout with 8 Ks vs. the A’s. Cy Cobb? Nah, probably not. Last night though, pretty. Let’s look it how The Tampa Bay Peach got where he is. Earlier this year, The Tampa Bay Peach hit that sweet spot, deciduously ready and he dropped to the ground, rolled about sixteen feet into the River Styx as “Come Sail Away” was playing in the background.
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Bay Area sports teams may want to throw out the mother dough. It’s tainted. Bartolo Colon was suspended for 50 days after being caught with elevated levels of testosterone. This much testosterone hasn’t been found in one man since they pumped Rod Stewart’s stomach in the late-70′s.
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I’ve gone from love to hate to love to “Are we up to love or hate now?” to the DL for Brandon Morrow. I’ll be honest, some of my love came from getting excited about drafting him and some of my hate came from not owning him and him overperforming, according to his peripherals.
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