Member when you drafted Ricky Nolasco in the preseason? You guys had high hopes for each other. You figured he’d strikeout 200 in, like, a game and he thought you’d change your boxers occasionally. You thought he’d have a low 3 ERA.Please, blog, may I have some more?
So it’s not really the 2nd half mark in the fantasy baseball season, but it’s the All-Star Break so what else are we going to talk about? The newest Real World? Putting a guy who is a recovering drug addict in the Real World house in New Orleans is completely irresponsible.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Since breaking Pink’s heart, Corey Hart has been living the surreal life. He has 19 homers already with his career high being 24. He has 61 RBIs, his career high is 91. He has an Amish beard, his career high was scruff.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Andre Ethier had a June line of 9/3/12/.195… In 2008. June gloom? Perhaps. In 2009, he had a May as atrocious. So he can come out of this funk. In the last three years, Ethier has hit 30 points better in the 2nd half.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Last summer, something felt wrong for Edinson Volquez. He said it was his arm. Dusty gave him two after-dinner mints and said they were “reconstructive surgery,” then threw him for 160 pitches. Unfortunately, the mints didn’t take. Dusty blamed Edinson’s inability to believe.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m going to put the caveats up front. Caveat #1) When I was younger, I played doctor on occasion, but I never went to med school. Caveat #2) Trading for or grabbing injured pitchers off waivers is risky. You get one setback and you could lose the pitcher for another month or two.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hello, new readers who found us from Googling the title! You probably weren’t expecting a fantasy baseball site. Don’t let that stop you. We’re an equal opportunity offender. And if the title didn’t interest you, how about Giants to add Bum to ‘Cum topped staff?Please, blog, may I have some more?
You know how cutters cut themselves to take their mind off some pain in their life? (RIP, Frankie from The Real World… San Diego!) Well, I have an idea that major league teams can employ. They should hire absolutely terrible ex-major leaguers to make slumping hitters feel better about themselves.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Nats will probably bring Stephen Strasburg into Washington in the bubble car with the albino John Lannan charged with throwing rose petals at his feet. This was recently overheard in the Nats bathroom sometime in the near future, “Um, John, do you think you can stop with the petals?” “Stephen, it’s my duty.” “Yeah, well, this is my doodie and I’m going to be about 20 minutes.” “Fair enough, sire!” I went over Strasburg for fantasy already.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It seems like every year around this time I make Mark Teixeira a prime breakout candidate. Why can’t he hit in April? Does he need mittens? His last three Aprils have produced a .245 average and 9 homers in 261 ABs.Please, blog, may I have some more?