Jake Peavy is due back August 28th.  Member when I told you to drop him?  Yeah, that was so two months ago.  We’re in August, check your Mr. Winkle calender.  It’s a brand new day, Sting.  We gotta update you when you you have to pick him up, too?  (That’s a Royal we since this is just me.  Rudy’s in Prague doing spy business.  Ooh, I’m a spy, no time for Razzball for two weeks.

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Lastings Milledge is about to get called up by the Pirates (We’re not your Pops’ Pirates!) and he should get playing time.  Shoot, I could prolly get playing time with the Pirates.  Is this still the head case that the Mets and Nats gave up on?  Sure.  Luckily, the rap scene in Pittsburgh is about as happening as Poughkeepsie’s and there’s no chance Milledge will high-five a fan after a homer, because, well, the Pirates have no fans.  Lastings Milledge can give you a two month stretch that looks remarkably similar to what Beltran has done over the last two months, or he can give you a two month streak where he looks like what Beltran should’ve done for the last two months.  Will Milledge suddenly be 10 team worthy?  Check yo projections at the door.  I don’t know.  His 2nd half last year was hella strong.  (Yo and hella were requests of the 18-29 test audience).  So Milledge can give you a ten team worthy outfielder and that’s worth a flier in every league.  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Ty Wigginton – Hit a homer on Thursday.  Know how many homers he hit last August?  12.  Why does he get hot in August?  I don’t know.  Maybe his moon sign coalesces well with August’s sun sign.  Whatever the case.  Pick him up in deep leagues and monitor him closely in 12 team or shallower.

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Matt Holliday is a sell.  Zoinks!  Holliday’s value does go up with this trade to the Cards.  But his value doesn’t skyrocket as it seems most people will now think.  Remember, this is Matt “Shin-Soo Choo Has Better Numbers Than Me” Holliday.  In the National League, where there’s better pitching and less Runs scored, suddenly Matt Holliday has a ton of value?  Way more value than he had in Oakland?  Why, because Oakland was a bad team and the Cards were a great team?  Oakland actually had a better OBP than St.

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Right now, Jason Bartlett has a 45/8/39/.347/19 line.  At 29-years-old, he’s flying past his career numbers.  Before this season, his career high for homers was 5.  He’s already at 8.  So let’s say the talk of his new jack swing is true; he can hit for more power now.  He’s still not hitting more than 5 homers in the 2nd half (he hit 1 homer in June and July in 87 ABs).  Recently, Maddon has batted him 7th or 8th in the order.  So the runs won’t come easy unless he eats at Taco Bell.  He’s a career .286 hitter with a .398 BABIP right now, so the average will come down.  He’s never stolen more than 23 bases in a season, but let’s say he blows that away by ten.  So let’s be optimistic and say a 2nd half line of 30/5/35/.300/14.  I ran an ultraviolet light over my bedsheets and it read, “That sounds a lot like Clint Barmes’s 2nd half.”  Thanks for confirming my suspicions, bed!  So Bartlett is a Sell.  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Josh Whitesell – Speaking of -sells, but this one’s a Buy… Kinda.  Whitesell doesn’t have every day playing time right now, so grab him in NL-Only leagues, but everywhere else I’d hold tight.  So, I guess, that’s a Whitehold.

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Yesterday, I went over some 2nd half hitters.  The day before I went over the top 100 for fantasy baseball in the 2nd half.  Today, it’s time for everyone’s favorite 2nd half fantasy baseball pitchers.  Or maybe these won’t be your favorite pitchers.  These are decisions you have to make on your own.  I can walk you to the fantasy baseball water.  I cannot drink it for you.  Similarly to hitters, players get in grooves or slumps.  So if a pitcher has been terrible for the last month, but showed flashes in the 2nd half of last year, he’s worth considering, but he’s not suddenly going to be great, i.e., recent history should be weighed.  Anyway, here’s some 2nd half fantasy baseball pitchers for 2009:

CC Sabathia – 1.56 ERA in 2008′s 2nd half to lead the league for pitchers over 60 innings.  He was ranked 7th for 2nd half ERA in 2007 with a 2.76.  Though I’m not totally convinced that we won’t be looking back at 2009 and wondering why CC was a 3.75 ERA pitcher rather than a 2.75 one.  Though, Part II:  The Return of Though, he does have a 3.67 career ERA, not what we saw last year in Milwaukee.  Though, Part III: Though Lives, he is usually better in the 2nd half.  Though, Part IV:  Though Part Three Confused Me.  Though, Part V:  Why Do They Keep Making Thoughs?

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Yesterday, I went over the top 100 for fantasy baseball in the 2nd half.  Today, I’ll look at some 2nd half hitters who should be better than they were in the first half.  To come up with this list, I scoured the last three years of post-All-Star Break numbers, ran it through a supercomputer that’s bigger than your Peugeot, pasted the supercomputer-generated names to my shirt like dollar bills on a wedding dress then went to a palm reader to help me pick ten names out of the thousands.  The palm reader’s name was Erica Karabell.  Tomorrow, I’ll go over the fantasy baseball pitchers who have been notoriously stronger in the 2nd half.  Anyway, here’s the best 2nd half fantasy baseball hitters for 2009:

Mike Napoli – Last year, he led the United States and Canada in OPS after the break for hitters with more than 100 ABs.  Vlad the ’97 Impaler and Torii are both hurting, which will help Napoli see more time.

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So it’s not really the 2nd half mark in the fantasy baseball season, but it’s the All-Star Break so what else are we going to talk about?  The newest Real World?  Why would you put them in Cancun and then say they can’t drink in public?  Go put restrictions on the castmates of 16 and Pregnant and leave the Real Worlders alone.  As with all of the other 2009 fantasy baseball rankings, take this list with a grain of salt.  If you need a 2nd baseman, but an outfielder is above him that doesn’t mean you can’t trade the outfielder for the 2nd baseman.  Also, things change in fantasy baseball.  Daily.  I could put Albert Pujols number one on the top 50 list for the second half of 2009 and he could get injured tomorrow.  Then he wouldn’t be number one.  See how that works.  This list is a roadmap for where I think guys are valued.  It’s not the Holy Grail in the Church of Grey, that would be my ‘stache.  This list is NOT (Caps for emphasis, not aesthetics) where I see guys ending up if you were to take the first half and combine it with the 2nd half of their season.

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Taking his name from the Telemundo reruns of Kojak, Ubaldo Jimenez currently has a 3.86 ERA, a 3.33 FIP (Fielding Independent Pitching) and a 3.71 Away ERA.  Chuck in a 7.63 K/9 and a schedule right after the break of either away games or easy matchups.  In the 2nd half last year, Ubaldo had a 3.68 ERA and almost a K an inning.  I’d grab him (and not start him at home vs.

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Gordon Beckham, the pride of Surrey, wrote little ol’ me a letter last week.  It went on for three pages and his penmanship left a lot to be desired, but let me share with you an excerpt.  “Hey, Grey, Gordo here.  I’m probably not going to be that great for an extended period of time in 2009.  But I appreciate you supporting my efforts.  Please share with your readers my plate disclipine and above-average speed.  I’m probably nothing more than a doubles hitter right now with the occasional dinger (the word dinger makes me giggle).  I don’t want to toot my own horn (though if I could, I’d never leave the clubhouse), but when you look at other MIs in your fantasy league, am I really that much worse?  As the President of the Debate Club, I once argued in favor of keeping Ben Grieve over Roy Halladay, so what do I know?”  Thanks, Gordo!  I think he covered everything.  At MI, ride the white lightning.  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Casey McGehee – When I grow up, I wanna be just like Casey McGehee.  Be touted relentlessly by me and do just okay in the major leagues.  You wanna be fair?  Okay, let’s be fair.  McGehee is a serviceable MI.  He’s not winning you leagues.  But without serviceable MIs, our great sport wouldn’t be nearly as proud.

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Was talking to some friends the other day and one of them thought Ichiro Suzuki was the best all around player he had ever seen.  No, he wasn’t Asian or wearing a Buhner jersey.  He made his case — defense, cannon arm, can hit any pitch to any field, speed, etc.  I countered Rickey Henderson was better.  Then somehow it dissolved into how did Bud Selig let steroids ruin baseball.  But when he said Ichiro, it wasn’t a slam dunk, “We’re only on our second pitcher of Molson.  How are you already drunk?”  It was a point to consider.  I guess in fantasy baseball sometimes we forget about how great players were or are and only concern ourselves with the numbers.  Ah… Nostalgia, I remember you!  Well, the numbers say Ichiro is currently ranked 56th for Runs for all outfielders.  Behind some stalwarts as Fukudome, Teahen and Skip Schumaker.  He’s currently ranked 100th in RBIs just behind Joe Thurston.  Hey, he’s got speed though, right?  He has 12 steals.  The same as Vernon Wells.  Ichiro is terrific for average, but that’s only getting you so far.  He’s extremely valuable for average.  If you need a boost there, then by all means trade for him.  But if you’re fine on average or hurting elsewhere, I’d look to trade away Ichiro.  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Chad GaudinNL West starter?  Oh, Grey must own him.

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