So Harry Potter and the Order of The Phoenix was on HBO tonight and before you ask, no I still don’t have cable. Me not having cable is a running joke around here. Sorry if you don’t understand, but this intro is for those who understand that I understand how silly it is, you understand? Anyhoo, it put me in the mindset for this title and it’s also apropos to the actual topic. AJ Griffin…admittedly I could give two bee-sized bowel movements about how good he is or has been. Overall, he’s just not good. He’s about as SP3/4 vanilla as you can get for an MLB team, but that’s neither here nor there. The Royals have suffered so many injuries this year and have seemingly thrown in the towel on the season as they’ve gone into full blown sell mode. I don’t know if that’s what is affecting the production on the field, but it’s clear this team isn’t sniffing the 2015 version. The K rate as a whole is up nearly 4% and they sit mired in 24th overall in wRC+. Factor in they’ve actually been worse since the All-Star break and you have the perfect spot to take advantage of a $6,500 priced pitcher who doesn’t need a gem to outplay his price. When suggesting a pitcher that has a 4+ ERA, it should go without say but yeah, this is a tourney only call. So let the sorting hat decide whether you’re courageous enough to follow through with Griffin and let’s get on with the rest. Here’s my Goblet of Fire hot taeks for this Friday DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday August 1st to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

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It’s a very scary thought to pick the two highest priced pitchers on DraftKings, but that’s just what to do today. If you’re afraid of us having to fill out the remainders of our lineup with players from the likes of the Flying Squirrels and the Muckdogs, you aren’t far off. However, on this day it will be worth it, as both aces I’m asking you to pick, Johnny Cueto and Jose Fernandez, are the best we have to offer.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday August 1st to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to ourDFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

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I just couldn’t help it, it was staring me right in the face. As I was going through the options for tonight’s slate and eliminating the ones that I have zero shot at rostering (Adam Wainwright, Archie Bradley) I kept looking at Duffey and Duffy as options and the double dose of Duff alliteration potential was too much to pass up. Danny Duffy and Tyler Duffey are more than just a grammar enthusiast’s amusement though, they are both legitimate options and probably the two I will be rostering as my starting pitchers, at least in GPPs. Danny has been stellar and I don’t believe anyone will need much convincing to get him in there against the Angels. The only hesitation I have here is that the Angels are not striking out this year. They are the same level the Royals were on last year, striking out 100 times less than the next nearest team. While that’s not an automatic “Avoid”, it’s something to think about. Tyler doesn’t give me much pause, mostly due to the opponent. The Braves are always a target, as their .652 team OPS is worst in the league by 30 points. Sure, Tyler has been inconsistent, but the promise has flashed here and there. The Braves are most likely using Gordon Beckham at DH, need I go on? I expect both pitchers to be contrarian plays tonight, you’re not running them out in cash games, but when looking to differentiate in a sea of GPP lineups, these are nice options. Plus, the pair only costs you $14,000. That’s basically one Clayton Kershaw! Let’s take a look at a few non-Duff options for tonight’s DraftKings slate:

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday August 1st to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

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If I were to have asked you prior to the start of the season, who would lead the majors in home runs on July 26, you probably would have said, “Harper, Stanton, or Bautista.” Hey, all of those are fair names. In fact, Encarnacion, Frazier, or Arenado would have made great choices as well. But, would any of you picked Mark Trumbo? Highly unlikely. It appears as though Trumbo is the new Nelson Cruz. After struggling in back-to-back season, Trumbo is well on his way to 40-plus homers, which would be a career high. Baltimore is a perfect spot for Trumbo and he’s making the most of his tenure in Charm City. On Tuesday night, the Orioles welcome Chad “Don’t Call Me Jerome” Bettis and the Rockies to Camden Yards in what will likely be an all-out slugfest. The funny thing is that the Orioles are drastically underpriced. Only $4,100 for Trumbo? Um, what? This guy is leading the majors in home runs for God’s sake! Though his ownership will likely be high, it’ll be tough to fade Trumbo is cash games. Play him and love him when he goes deep twice or play him and get moderately annoyed when he goes 0-for-4 with three Ks and a flyout with the bases loaded–hopefully he’s 50 percent owned!

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run next Monday, August 1st, to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

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Aaron Sanchez, $10,300 vs San Diego, has been great over his last six games limiting offenses to less than 2 runs, 6 hits and 2 walks over 40 innings. The 24 year old former closer has been the Blue Jays Ace this year going 10-1 with a 2.87 ERA to go along with his 108 Ks. Even more intriguing is that he’s doing all of this in the AL “Beast” going up against some of the toughest hitters in the league. Hitters have been struggling all year to square him up as his 3.44 FIP ranks sixth behind Corey Kluber. The Padres scored 10 runs yesterday, but much of that damage was done against Washington’s bullpen in the 8th and 9th innings. San Diego still leads the league in Ks vs RHP, so I’m counting on that trend to continue so our boy Cheeze can rack up at least 7-9 K and possibly hit double digits if he doesn’t get pulled early innings limits. There’s been tons of of talk about him getting sent to the bullpen and if those rumors are true this may be one of a handful of times that we have left to roster him in DK. Let’s get some Cheeze, so we can get that DK cheddar.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run today to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run today to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

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If only baseball were as easy as the surface stats tell us. Player A has great peripherals and a pretty ERA. Player B has numbers more hideous than the elephant man, lock him away in the dungeon and let us never speak of him again. It’s all too easy to look at the season long numbers on a player and simply throw him out the proverbial window…or literal window if they really screwed you in your league. But of course, you’re here because baseball isn’t that easy and you’re a straight masochist. With that, enter Anibal Sanchez. Come in close and get a whiff of that stat line…whew! You don’t put up a 6.60 ERA over nearly 90 innings without doing a lot wrong. But even the worst pitchers can put things together for a good stretch and Anibal is far and away not the worst pitcher in baseball so he has that going for him. Know what else he has going for him? He just came off of a 10 K, 2 BB performance against the Twins. I know, I know, they’re the Twins, but its more common for a nice little groove of good pitching than it is to have an ace-like outing and then completely fade the next go. I’m not stumping for Sanchez for anything outside of tourneys but at $4,800, he’ll sure make your dollar stretch for a Coors day. But enough about bad pitchers have good days, let’s talk about good players and good plays. Here’s my Sunday fun day hot taeks for this Sunday DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday July 25th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

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Good Saturday to you all, I hope it has been a lucrative week and I can help you keep it rolling through the weekend. Typically, I like to write about either the best pitcher of the day or a the best pitching value of the day in my intro paragraph. Today, though, I feel like it’s warranted to use it as a sort of PSA. The trade deadline is a mere eight days away and the rumors are starting to swirl. It’s silly season but none the less, it would be wise to keep an ear to the grindstone. Just last night it was being reported that Chris Sale might be on the trade block and that the Rangers were discussing trading for the White Sox ace. While I don’t see it happening today, it’s none the less something to ponder. When you’re making a lineup call and deciding between Max Scherzer or Chris Sale and Sale has the potential to get pulled early if a trade is in the works, or worse yet, get scratched minutes before first pitch, it’s something to consider. It would be an unfortunate loss of salary to leave $12,300 on the table and for that reason I’d pass on Sale. That, and Max Scherzer gets to face the Padres. Let’s look at some more picks for tonight’s DraftKings slate:

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday July 25th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

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Decisions, decisions…we all love when a bad hitting team gets to go up against a good to great pitcher. But do we love it when it’s in a friendly hitter’s park? This is the question you’re going to have to ask yourself today. With so many good pitching options on this slate priced reasonably, is it the kind of day you should toss Jon Gray out there on your team? Clearly Gray isn’t without risk given Coors is the backdrop but lets consider a few things for a moment. His K/9 on the year is nestled right in between David Price and Jake Arrieta. His GB% sits at a healthy 47.8% and his xFIP (3.53) is nearly a run less than his ERA (4.33). Also, Gray has done a tremendous job this year of taking advantage of cush matchups no matter where he was at. He went seven and K’d seven Padres back on June 10th in Coors and just finished up the Braves in Atlanta with eight Ks for a seven inning shutout. When Jon is given an opportunity to take down a bad team, he does it with authority. The asking price of $8,200 isn’t the cheapest nor is it unmanageable; it’s just there asking you if you like taking a bit of risk with your LU. Well, do ya punk? Alright then, let’s get on with the getting on. Here’s my fuerte taeks for this Friday DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday July 25th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

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Steven Wright has been a revelation this year, and he’s such a feel good story. Everyone has fooled around with a knuckleball in their backyard, and lemme tell ya, mine’s pretty good! I may even look more athletic than Steven Wright… However, Knuckle Papi is the guy in The Show, and I’m the guy writing about him. Ah well, someone has to do both. Just pick him in your lineup today, he’s facing the Twins… Need I say more?

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday July 25th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

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Unless you’re not into that, of course. And if you are, that’s cool, I’m not into it myself. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…anyhoo, Phillies can be ponies, right? But of course, we know that even with that reference, it still doesn’t work seeing as, well, look at the dang gif, y’all. You know he ain’t talking about equestrians. For those who still haven’t got it, it’s a sexual innuendo, or ‘inyourendo’ if you’re 15 mentally which I am so we’re good! Now that I’ve dated myself very badly, lets get down to dropping that synth-burp bass and talking up Wei-Yin Chen. Feels like we’ve been here plenty this year and the theme has been common and easy to follow. Here’s a quick flowchart:

Phillies Suck

You’re welcome for offering up the Staples button for ya because yes, that was easy. The Phillies have found a new low of late as they’ve even slipped beneath the Braves in wRC+ against southpaws, sitting at a lowly 64. They say it’s lonely at the top, but what’s it like sitting down there on the porcelain throne? Whew…Chen isn’t the safest get for the night based on his own stats on the year and his HR tendencies, but with the opponent at hand, I could see 6 to 7 Ks and it’s just a question of how many bombs he gives up whether that’s worth much. I’ll play him in cash and tourneys alike on such a smedium evening slate. But enough about bad 90s R&B, let’s move on. Here’s my Peyton Manning grooving hot taeks for this Wednesday DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run next Monday, July 25th, to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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