We’re living in an incredibly scary time. Bill Cosby is a villain, Donald Trump is running for president, and people are playing the “Boys Are Back In Town Again” back to back to back until bars riot. This is the sort of chaos that invades our daily lives and can make just keep, keeping on impossible. Fear not noble reader, DraftKings is here to take over your mundane, meaningless, and sad life. You will now have purpose, and that purpose is to win money from your wealth of useless fantasy sports knowledge. Haha, laugh no longer single long term girlfriend and wildly successful older brother, for I am Ralph, King of Drafts! Sorry guys I smoked way too much nutmeg and now I can’t seem to write anything remotely coherent. Hey give me a break, you spend your Saturday nights playing Call of Duty with your roommates and smoking from your penis shaped pipe. I, on the other hand, sort through pages of stats to find you the days best plays while mixing in a little BBW porn viewing when I need a break. So you should take my word for it when I tell you to start Chris Sale. Or that big girls can be sexy. I mean it takes genuine fantasy knowledge and superior intellect to identify these things. It’s not like Sale leads the world in K/9 or anything. It’s also certainly not true that K’s are by far the most important requirement for a DFS starter besides not giving up 10 runs in an innings and a third. Sale costs $13,100 so your going to have to make sacrifices but you know what they say about sacrifices. Actually I don’t know what they say so if you figure it out, please share. We have a comments section for such things. I’ll just be here keeping busy with Randy Widettes 7.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 2o teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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I continue to standby the fact that spending the most money on pitchers is the smartest strategy in DraftKings. It’s not necessarily the safest, because your pricey pitcher could get lit up on any given day. It’s no secret that DraftKings has priced pitchers higher than any other position. It pretty much forces you to pay the price for a pitcher, unless you catch one on a day where a highly touted prospect gets his first opportunity in the big leagues. At this point, I’m sure we’ve all tried different strategies, and got various results. Clayton Kershaw is $14,000 today. That number is correct, and not an error. At first glance, I wasn’t sure how anyone would fit Kershaw into their lineup at this price, but he’s back to being the dominant pitcher like last year. He’s had 9 straight Quality Starts, and 87 strikeouts during that streak. I might be one of few to pick Kershaw in a big ‘Guaranteed’ entry, as it is very easy to scroll down past the most expensive player. Kershaw and the Dodgers are on the road against the Nationals, which should shy away your fantasy opponents.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

For many a year, it’s been well documented that Jorge De La Rosa was a bit of a homeschooler. Of course, that in and of itself isn’t something that would make a person curious; plenty of pitchers have road splits that make them look pedestrian. But Jorge is a Rocky and two things go with that. One, your bats are terrible away and two, your pitching is terrible at home but Jorge is not about that life. He’s had a ton of success at Coors Field which makes my call maybe seem odd given the context but Jorge is doing a bit of a reverse of his already seemingly reversed splits so far this year. Over 32.1 IP this year, Jorge has held his opponents to a 1.67 ERA to go along with 26 K. I know, those Ks don’t sound appealing but they just got a nice bump via the opponent in the Padres. Despite being a heavily righty lineup, San Diego boasts the highest K% against lefty pitchers in all of the MLB and they’re near the bottom in wRC+ and ISO against them to boot. Starting a road pitcher is never safe, of course, so I’m just recommending Of The Rose for tourneys only but there I could see putting him as your SP1 cuz you’re gonna get another cheap option from me below. Ooooh, foreshadowing! So lets not dawdle any longer. Here’s my hot takes for the start of the second half of the DK MLB slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I could open today’s post by telling you it’s the last day of games before the All-Star break. I could go on a long diatribe about how this is the last time you can play DraftKings for 4 whole days. But what’s the point? You know this, I know this. You’re already being inundated with mid season lists and awards and such. So instead lets talk about today’s games and how to get the most out of your lineup. Days like today are not easy. First you’re never sure who’s going to be in the lineup. With several teams sitting stars involved in the ASG. Second even the participants that do play today could be pulled from the game in the 6th inning. All of this adds to the madness. Maybe the best thing to do is just play your favorite teams utility guy. Unless your favorite team is so pathetic that your utility guy is your team’s all star. Ugh Red Sox. So enough with this introduction stuff lets talk about some choice plays. After all today’s the last day to get your fix in.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Today is 7/11! Be sure to go to your local 7-Eleven for the famous thirst quenching Slurpee. Remember to buy an extra one for your enjoyment while watching baseball all day. Take the kiddos with you and you’ll be the coolest dad around. You can tell what my childhood memories consist of. Now that we got that important news out of the way, its time to focus on DraftKings. Over the past three games, the Phillies have faced Kershaw, Greinke, and Bumgarner. Over those three games, they’ve managed to crank out 2 runs. Today, they face Ryan Vogelsong. He’s not the caliber of pitcher as those three, but you have to think the Phillies are deflated today, and are already planning their All-Star break vacation. It’s not out of the question to stack those Giants’ hitters as high as you can as they scored double digits last night. Phillies’ starting pitcher Buchanan has a 0-5 record on the season with a near 9 ERA. But, I don’t know if I’m putting my eggs all in one basket. If I’m playing a big money ‘Guaranteed’ entry, this will definitely be my plan. Click on and check out my other picks for today.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The title really should have something to do with Dodgerland or Mannywood. Maybe the Best Team That Money Can Buy (Can’t wait for the book to come out Tuesday, by the way)? But I have to include Mike Trout in here, too.

I love Felix Hernandez. I truly do. In my short time living in the great northwest, I understood the appreciation that they have for King Felix. The King’s Court is something you should witness at least once if you are a baseball fan.

But for some reason, Trout has had his number throughout his career. There are three current Angels that are hitting above .200 in their career against Felix Hernandez. Erick Aybar (.220), Albert Pujols (.222) and Mike Trout (.345). It’s no small sample, either. He’s 20-58 against Hernandez with 3 home runs and 12 RBI. He’s the fifth-highest price outfielder behind J.D. Martinez and Andrew McCutchen, which makes sense. However, Cameron Maybin and the injured Giancarlo Stanton both cost more than him. It’s a large enough sample that I feel confident to zig with Trout while others will zag. That’s why after selecting my building block (SPOILER: It’s always a pitcher for me), I knew Trout was the first hitter I was getting in my lineup. Let’s get into it more, shall we?

Straight to the cash, homie.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 15 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Growing up, I, like many of my friends, held the All-Star Game to be a true collection of the best baseball players in the game. We’d watch Pete Rose, Mike Schmidt, Johnny Bench and the National League beat up on Reggie Jackson, Vida Blue and the American League year after year. But even then, and as time has moved on, there have been some head scratching choices as All-Stars along the way. Some of it can be pinned on the rule that each team has to have an All-Star, lending to some interesting choices. But some, like Alfredo Griffin, who was named to the 1984 American League squad simply because he came with actual All-Star Damaso Garcia and the AL needed some when Alan Trammell got hurt, didn’t belong and years later, it still looks odd. There has been Chris Brown, Mike Sharperson, Jay Howell, Ron Coomer, Cesar Izturis and a host of so-so relievers since the age of the relief pitcher in the All-Star game has taken full bloom.

Even with all that mediocrity in the AS game, it still surprises me to see names I am fairly sure will stand out years from now that have now been minted All-Star. One of those is D.J. Lemahieu. Lemahieu is nothing special as an offensive player. He has a decent contact rate, average walk rate, good speed. He’s a good fielder at second base this season, too. But nothing about Lemahieu says All-Star, except the offense in which he plays.

But little of that matters in daily fantasy. LeMahieu can be as basic as a game of tic-tac-toe, but if he’s batting second, which he has often this season, and the game is at Coors Field, Mr. Average can be rostered with confidence that he’ll be putting that decent contact rate and speed to good use. For you.

So enjoy the All-Star game, D.J., what do I care? As long as you keep on delivering in DFS.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

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DraftKings was actually a little late to the DFS party.  You’d never know it by looking at how prevalent they are everywhere.  They have done a wonderful job marketing, nabbing up partnerships with MLB and several major sports franchises along the way.  They are one of the two big fishes in the sea right now.  Back in the early days of DFS every site had a little chat box that was a place for three things usually.  1) Trash talking, 2) Whining, 3) Immature potty humor that quickly degenerated into things that you’d read on a Yahoo! article comments section.  DraftKings came into being after the chat box phenomenon had started to fade away.  It’s really no surprise these chat boxes have gone the way of the buffalo, but there are a few smaller sites where they still exist.  All of this was a long introduction into me reading one of these chats the other day and seeing someone whining about “stupid Coors stacks”.  I’m a Coors stacker, it’s what I do.  I try every way I can to get as much exposure to that place as I possibly can on a given night.  For me, it’s a worthwhile gamble and one that pays off more often than not.  It’s not everyone’s bag though, but you have to be aware of the situation.  You can always fade Coors in a  tournament, figuring most people will be on that game.  If Coors is a dud and your guys go off, you should have a nice advantage.  You could go with the flow and stack Coors, or you could just sprinkle in Coors action and pick your spots.  The final option of course, if the Coors stacks really bother you is to just sit those nights out.  No one will think any less of you.  If you are playing tonight, one name I highly discourage fading is Wilin Rosario.  Wilin is a beast with the stick and is superhuman when he’s got the platoon advantage (.325/.360/.623 career slash line).  Toss in the Coors factor and for $3,600 with eligibility at first base or catcher and there’s no excuse for fading Wilin tonight.  Here are a few more fellas you shouldn’t be fading this evening.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 18 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

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Seriously, kid, just don’t. I mean, I’m only streaming you in every league in season long while also touting you in a lead post on Razzball. Do you understand the honor I’m bestowing here? This post has seen names like Kyle Lobstein grace the front page! This shizz is serious. Now that I think about it, I’ve touted Chris Heston before on here too and he stunk up the joint that time out. Hrm…nah, too lazy to change it at this point so let us do what DFS should have taught us by now: not fearing going back to the well. Unless of course your well is on a farm on The Walking Dead and there’s a zombie at the bottom of it. Good lawd, that season made me check out on the series so quickly. So much tension about nothing and where were the flipping zombies!?! If I wanted to watch forced drama, I’d watch reality television, AMC. But where was I? Oh yeah, the well. The reasoning behind why Heston is a good get is still there. He’s solid at home, has a strong K rate vs righties, and the home park helps a little with his lefty struggles. I see Heston as a good cash game play as he makes an easy SP2 to pair with Sale with his price point at $6,300. When you factor in how bad the Mets offense has been of late – they had zero HRs and only 13 runs scored over their last 7 heading into Sunday – there’s a chance for SP1 numbers for chump change. Just don’t make me feel like a chump again, Heston…just don’t. But enough about my love/hate for Chris, let’s get on with it. Here’s my most caliente takes for this Monday DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 15 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So I just wrote 250 about why you should start Chris Sale. Then It come to my attention that Mr. Sale had been pushed back until Monday. Damn you DFS gods why have you foresaken me. So with Sale being pushed back and Carlos Rodon taking his place it can only mean one thing, I’m going to focus on Danny Salazar. You didn’t think I was going to sit here and suggest you start Rodon vs the O’s did you? I mean I already had my teeth handed to me a month or so ago by Carlos Frias. I’ve sworn off all Carlos’ until further notice. So let’s focus on Danny shall we? The young god is averaging 10.65 K/9 and as we all know K’s are the real kings of DraftKings. I know one would think it would be the drafts, but it’s not. So let’s get a couple of things out in the open before we go any further. 1. Danny’s not exactly the safest of choices, 2. he’s a bit homer prone and 3. will have his rough outings from time to time. But if you’re a Razzball reader you already knew that. You know because we have the most astute readers in the industry. Right?

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 15 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?