Every time I hear Nate Eovaldis name I think about the delicious Italian staple the Extra Virgin Olive Oil. I also think of Rachel Ray and her sick obsession for the stuff. Seriously, that woman puts it in everything. But thank goodness this isn’t about her and I’ve probably already turned some of you off and you’re heading back over to Grey’s with all the other cool kids….Hi De Nacho Favre! Speaking of De Nacho, in the FCL I was commenting how I’m glad I drove a Honda but I’ll never do it again. It was boring, like listening to Air Supply for the rest of your life. I like power at my feet, I haven’t owned a car that wasn’t a V8 in years. Now why am I telling you this nonsense and how does it relate to EVOO? Dude is not boring! He’s damn exciting to watch, makes playing all this worth it. He went undrafted all over the place back in March but has been one of the best adds all season. The returns on him has given his owners a 2.86 ERA, 1.11 WHIP, 8.58 K/9, 1.79 BB/9, a realistic LOB rate, a high ground ball rate and low line drive rate. He also throws really friggin’ hard with an average velocity of 95.7 on his four seam and 96.1 on his 2 seam fastballs. I also dropped him in one league a couple of weeks back. I’ll be honest, I thought he was good but I’ve been waiting for the regression fairies to show up. They’re late to the party. I see him as this year’s Patrick Corbin, a great start but will die a slow death after the All Star break. The only saving grace is the velocity. He throws hard and that is always a plus. In case some of you have forgot, he was the centerpiece of the Hanley Ramirez to the Dodgers deal. The Marlin’s know their talent. Ok, enough back story blah blah blah. He gets the Giants today at the their nice cushy ballpark. The Giants are the 11th worst team in MLB for K rate and have a couple of their bats banged up. Brandon Belt is on the DL, Pablo Sandoval is hurt and Hunter Pence has been stuck at the light switch all season. Nothing really scary there. We could say Michael Morse is playing and hitting but I say he’s playing and looking ready to hit the DL. I have May 23rd on my Morse injury pool. *crosses fingers* Bottom line is he’s my favorite pitcher of the day and anytime Matt Cain takes the hill the Giants lose. Stream-o-Nator likes Cain better and has Eovaldi 6th on the day. I say Stream has been partying too much with Hitter-Tron. I’m playing him in DraftKings contests today and if you did too then let’s take a moment to hold hands over the internet.

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When it comes to DFS play nothing can kick you off your throne quicker than a cold streak. And I hit one last week. Playing daily fantasy sports can be a fun, lucrative and an absolutely maddening endeavor. No other sport has as much variance on a nightly basis. I often wonder why I put myself through this athletic sadism. Ok, I know why. I like pain the competition, I like the cash and I love baseball. Over the past week, your humble-but-nonetheless-royal Guru has had plenty of competition, not so much cash and nowhere near the love I deserve as I went just 23 for 40. I may be no draft king, but the bankroll increased a bit and I’m inching closer to a winter of fun in the sun. The problem is I may have to pass on Cancun and head to Coney Island. Hopefully, I have a little left over for the bail bondsman. If you want to join me poolside just hit the DraftKings link and you’ll get a free ticket for a contest with your first-time deposit. The winner of that contest gets entry into our $500k Showcase with a $100k top prize – that’s a lot of banana daiquiris. Also, if you haven’t fired up the DFSBot yet, check it out. It’s a great tool for your bag of tricks that’ll give you an advantage over the competition. I used it Monday for some Tim Lincecum love that banked big for me. Believe me, I needed it.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve shared some of my strategies when playing DFS baseball. If you missed them you can give a look here, here, and here. This week, let’s talk a bit about managing the budget. On DraftKings you get 50K to spend on two pitchers and eight positions. I usually spend 18- 22K of that on pitching which doesn’t leave a lot of room for mistakes with hitters. One of the questions I get asked a lot is if it’s okay to leave money on the table when constructing a team. I say, unless you’re a seasoned DFS shark, it’s best to spend to the cap or real close to it. I never leave more than $500 on the board and there are three reasons for that: 1) No projections are 100% accurate. Sorry, DFSBot, you’re good but no one’s that good. 2) More often than not your “optimal lineup” will be wrong. Ha! I know this sounds negative, but play DFS awhile and you’ll realize that not spending that leftover $800 will hurt. I found this out on Monday when I didn’t spend up for pitching and went with Tyler Lyons – he gave me -11 points. Yes, negative 11! 3) Finding cheap players that produce is necessary to win, but players are in the bargain bin for reason. If you see a player that usually has a high price tag is suddenly cheap there’s probably a reason for it – he has a bad matchup, he’s unlikely to play or he’s hurt. I saw a lot of people grab Mark Teixeira on Monday because the price was right in a great matchup. Unfortunately, he ended up not playing which left some people with a big fat zero.

With all that said, we have just eight games on the evening slate, a number of aces on the mound and some weather to pay attention to in St. Louis and Cincinnati. Here’s your dirty turbaned Guru’s lineup for Wednesday’s 5/14 contests on DraftKings for 2014 Fantasy Baseball. Good luck, cheers.

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This past weekend was full of knockout entertainment. There was some great baseball, NBA and Stanley Cup playoff action, a crying competition between NFL draftees and Mother’s everywhere and a UFC main event that actually exceeded expectations. I don’t condone fighting. In fact, I encourage it when it’s done legally and televised. If you feel the same make sure you see the Matt Brown v. Erick Silva battle that rightfully went viral this weekend. It’s on Fox Sports 1 or 2 or 47 on replay, whichever you have. It’s probably available on a website or two as well.

If you managed to watch 74 hours of sports television this weekend you had an impossible (man’s game) winning streak. And you should keep the streak going. So, on this very mundane Tuesday, you should spice it up with some money-grabbing Draftkings action. And when you do the Draftkings (what Mom calls it) kick some ass. Today’s formula is brought to you by cheap pitchers (aka Natural Light) and Cabrera MMA (Melky, Migs, Asdrubal). There’s nothing better than a spicy sausage with cheap beer so make sure you click this hot link so you can get your first Draftkings contest for free.

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For the most part, I fancy myself a Bo Jackson (pre-MNF injury disaster) of the fantasy game, but at times, I can have my Drew Henson moments. I know I’m not alone here, and this past weekend was tough for those of the same ilk to keep their baseball blinders in place. The NFL Draft certainly was a distraction, and the deep dives into BVP, splits, and all other mind-numbing stats turned into shallow dives at the crappy motel pool that usually result in paralysis. As a result, my bankroll hasn’t moved much in the last three days (especially in the preferred, upwards direction), but what can I say? I love watching grown men cry into their phones and am always in awe (for lack of better terms) of the real-life Count Chocula, Mel Kiper, and his obsession with hand and arm size. But alas, all picks are in, and it’s time to turn my full attention back to the pixie dust version of America’s pastime – and you should join me – especially on DraftKings.

I am just a small cog in the machine that is Razzball, so keep it here for plenty of great DFS content all season, and check out the recently unveiled DFSBot to gain an extra edge on the competition; it still has that new car bot smell. Mmmmm … bot.

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Before we go any further, pick up the phone and wish your mother a happy Mother’s Day. In honor of the woman who taught me not to play in traffic, pet strange dogs, or stick Legos up my nose, I’m playing it super safe today with my A-1 starter and drafting Clayton Kershaw ($13,000) in cash games. He’s a whopping $30 value on the Stream-0-Nator and I would be really surprised if he doesn’t post at least 25 points today. Then again, it doesn’t take much to surprise me anymore. I’m boring y’all! The biggest drawback to Kershaw today is what that hefty price tag does to the rest of your lineup, so it will be key to draft a solid number two starter and we’ll have to scrape together some pocket change for a couple hitters today.

Signing up for DraftKings is easy and if you use that link, you’ll get a free ticket for a contest with your first-time deposit. The winner of that contest gets entry into our $500k Showcase with a $100k top prize. Also, if you haven’t tried the DFSBot yet, check it out. It gives you an idea of who the best values are based on their projections versus their actual DK salaries for the day. This comes in really handy on a day like today when we splurge on pitching and need to find some cheaper bats. If you’d like to see how your lineup fares against the Guru and I, join our free 5-team contest. As always, double check the starting lineups and the weather before the day’s games begin. Here are today’s DraftKings picks for 5/11/2014…

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Another Saturday with money on the line. It’s like sitting in AC, but not being bothered by the annoying people whose whole day revolves around being in AC. That prolly doesn’t make sense if you have never been so go and bring NJ some money. As you can tell by the title I am like a stutterer today and hitching my cart or your cart to the Cabreras. You don’t have to listen but the matriarch of the Cabrera family won’t be happy or amused one bit. So mosey on over to DraftKings for some fun today and if you are having trouble deciding who to use go check out Rudy’s version of Skynet. The DFSBot is so helpful for you daily fantasy folk that if you don’t use it you should be arrested and charged with some felonious crime that in the end of the day gets you community service. Enjoy the day and good luck.

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Seriously, I’m jonesing over here. David Price killed a small part of me yesterday in my lineups. Then Jake Arrieta went in with the dagger plunge on my lineups. And how the hell didn’t I get Ian Kennedy in ONE lineup. Really, Sky? REALLY?!? Woah, hey Seth Meyers. Could ya go back to New York, I’m kinda doing my thing here. BTW, I loved you in Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist…I’m joking, of course. I never watched that movie. But you know what I do watch? Baseball. And wanna know who’s fun to watch and good at that? Jose Fernandez. Do I really need to make a huge selling point here? Alright, here it is. Jo-Fer is #1 in the major leagues with a 12.54 K/9 rate. The Friars hitters? Eighth worst K-rate as a team at 22.8%. I know, I know…I had you at 12.54 K/9. There’s a reason he’s the top rated pitcher on the night with a $12,800 price tag. Might be harder to justify in GPP but he’s should be in every 50/50 you play for the day. Oh and BTW, just wanted to let you know, all y’all who signed up through our DraftKings sponsored link? To date, you’ve raked in over $38K. Yeah, that’s too round of a number to be believed. It’s actually $38,245. That’s some mad bank. How much did you spend to earn that amount back? I don’t know, I’m not your bookie. I’ll just assume that if your thumbs aren’t broken, you’re doing well in the game of ‘is it negative or is it positive’. My wife and I play that once a month around a Clear Blue. It’s just as nerve-wracking and just as worrisome about the expenses associated. But bygones! Either way it’s clear you all have great minds…or great tools like the DFSbot who’s just an extension of Rudy Gamble’s mind. Have we checked to see if Rudy is actually human yet himself? Anyways, just wanted to give you a well deserved congrats before we get on with the show. Here’s my picks for Friday’s DK contests for 2014 Fantasy Baseball…

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We love our Padre home starts here at Razzball. We love it so much we have a term for it in our glossary. That spacious ocean front property is where hitters go to die and pitchers go to pad their stats for arbitration. How genius to make a park that is so huge you never have to worry about acquiring hitting and fill it with mediocre pitchers and speedy poor hitting fielders. This works so well it’s been passed off as a Major League ball club. It’s funny that the next closest ball club is in Tijuana, Mexico and they might be as good as the Padres. It may sound like I’m picking a fight with Jay, but I’m really not. If I was to do that I would say that Maker’s Mark is like toilet water, which it’s not, and that Star Trek is for guys who can’t get a date….OK, let’s shoot for two out of three. I think the Padres are working with what they got and know their chances to compete come along once in a blue moon. I honestly think if they went back to the old school brown and yellow uni’s with the swinging friar they will start to compete. That bland blue or strangely out of place camo has got’s to go. You get them looking like Dave Winfield and Ozzie Smith and I think they will start winning ball games. What does this have to do with daily fantasy? Not much, but any chance to push for the return of the brown and yellow is a good day for me. I remember 1984 like it was yesterday. I went to a Dodger game with my brother’s baseball team so we could see Steve Garvey in another jersey and watch the Goose, Nettles, Gwynn, McReynolds, and Templeton strut their stuff. Back then it was safe to root for the opposing team at Dodger Stadium and you could enjoy all the players without fear of a beat down. Now you just need to do it quietly while in disguise as a Dodger fan. Fast forward to today…actually tomorrow but because you won’t read this today but tomorrow then I’ll just say today….got it? Good! The fish and their free swinging ways are coming to San Diego and the solid Ian “the head hunter” Kennedy gets to take the hill. The Marlins have dropped to 9th for team K% with a rate of 22.7 but a lot of that has to do with the really nice home stand they are on. It’s still a lot by daily fantasy standards and we are here to play the odds. Ian Kennedy ($9,700) sports a very healthy 9.43 K/9 which when you combine with that K rate should give us 8 K’s in 7 innings and a really nice anchor line for your daily fantasy team. The Stream-o-Nator has him as the #3 starter on the day. In the morning you can check Rudy’s newest fantasy toy the DFSBot for another perspective. If you are still on the fence about daily fantasy then click this DraftKings link and we have a free entry for new users that make a deposit. It’s a blast and welcome any of you to challenge myself or any of the other daily fantasy writers for a little H2H action and we can have a little bragging rights session next week.

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Has the DraftKings monkey jumped on your back yet? What are you waiting for, Razzheads? Try one hit and you’ll be back for more. Especially when the first taste is free. New players that click on this link get into the $500k Showcase with a $100k top prize. Win that 500K and you can buy yourself a new liver. Thanks, Obamacare! We Razzicians will even give you an advantage over the other players by introducing you to the DFSBot. Check it out. Sure he looks like 2XL, but that bucket of bolts knows his shizz.

If you’re new to the DFS World there a number strategies that work when constructing a roster. Over the last few weeks I’ve shared some here and here. Hope they helped. If they didn’t, please stop with the Twitter stalking! Yeah, looking at you, Tehol. DFS is an entirely different beast when it comes to fantasy baseball and the variance day-to-day over playing an entire season is wide as you can imagine. Some rosters I put together come up aces and eights, others simply crap out. I played a roster the other night that had Mike Trout, Prince Fielder, Adrian Beltre and Giancarlo Stanton. That team would kill over a season, but on that particular night they all went cold and I lost. Fortunately, I usually play 3-5 rosters a night and it’s very rare I end up in the red. Over the last three days I’ve cashed in seven of 10 contests. Which brings me to the types of contests to play. There are basically two different types of games – 50/50s/Double-ups/Head-to-Head AKA (Cash Games) and GPPs (guaranteed prize pool tournaments). I use a different strategy depending on what I’m playing in. If I’m playing in Cash Games I don’t take a lot of chances. I play it safe and look for sure points. No need to risk not starting Miguel Cabrera because Matt Adams has two homers in 15 at-bats off a particular pitcher. You don’t need to be first you just need to be better than 50% of everyone else. Go for the sure thing. However, when it comes to GPPs I’m taking some risk…okay, a lot of risk. I want guys with huge upside that are going to go off and (hopefully) score a ton of points. Many nights it works out, but there are many nights it does not. If you’re new to DFS I’d suggest starting with Cash Games at low stakes before jumping in with the sharks – unless of course DraftKings is letting you play for free. Hey, I gave you the link!

With all that said, here’s your dirty turbaned Guru’s lineup for Wednesday’s 5/7 contests on DraftKings for 2014 Fantasy Baseball. Remember to check the lineups and the Doppler radar. Don’t get left with a big fat zero if it starts raining frogs in Boston. Good luck.

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If you’re playing in a 50/50 league it’s best to play it safe. Take a flyer or two, but make sure you have guys who won’t burn you. That was probably the best play through the first month of the season too. A month does not a season make, but at least now we have enough data to see microcosmic trends, which sounds either scientifically arousing or hands-in-your-pants naughty if you’ve had anything to drink. *Removes hands from pants* I love talk-to-type software!

Now may be the time to start looking at how to dig a little deeper. The onset of big boy tourneys at DraftKings offers up playboy type dollars with the $500k Fantasy Baseball Showcase and the $3.3 million Fantasy Baseball Championship. Today’s matchups spotlight ways you can distinguish your squad from the status quo because if you have the same roster as your competition you can’t do much better than tie.

Old men and pirates are very right about one thing—it’s all about finding the booty. We’ve got this new fandangled robo predictor in the DFSBot that you gotta check out guys and gal. It’s gonna show you where the hidden booty is. But don’t get too excited to chase a mythical golden nugget when there’s plenty of treasures available right in front of you all along. For those, my friends, remember to look at the tried and true Steam-O-Nator and HitterTron.

Please, blog, may I have some more?