Fantasy Baseball Advice

Yovanni Gallardo is due to pitch this weekend, so that means Dave Bush could be bumped. Unfortunately, I’m not sure it’s going to work out that way. Here’s the scoop, as the newsies used to say. Manny Parra was just plain wild today. I wish I could blame the home plate umpire, DeMuth, for Manny Parra’s start like I will later blame the home plate ump for Edinson Volquez’s somewhat rocky win. DeMuth is notoriously a hitter’s umpire, but lots of Parra’s pitches weren’t even close. Demuth did not ’squeeze’ Parra. Out of five walks and five hits he gave up to the Cards in 4 innings, Parra was very lucky to get out of it with only three runs earned. This could’ve easily been a five run first and Parra out by the second. What does this mean for Manny Parra going forward? Well, it’s good that Villanueva had a worse start on Wednesday, but you don’t want your future riding on other people’s misfortune (hey, I could write fortune cookies!). Right now, I see Gallardo getting Villanueva’s Monday start, because Villanueva has experience as a reliever. However, if Bush pitches decent and Parra’s bungles his next start, Parra may get bumped. Or Parra may just get sent down. This has the makings of The Pierre Situation™ for pitching. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday:

Edinson Volquez – As I mentioned earlier in regards to umps, Volquez was getting squeezed so much he should press sexual harassment charges (sorry, that sounds like something an ESPN announcer would say). Let’s just say, Volquez didn’t walk in one run by walking Ted Lilly. He struck him out and the ump didn’t call it. He did not walk four batters. Maybe two. (Quick aside, I have a conspiracy theory. I think because MLB had to crack down on steroids, which will hurt offense — and offense puts asses into the seats — MLB had to do something to ‘enhance’ the offense. What did they do? They told the umps to shrink their strike zone. I have no proof of this and if you were to hear someone saying this in a bar, you’d probably roll your eyes and walk away. But I digress.)

Joey Votto – I know Dusty gets no love in the United States of The Blogosphere, but he’s playing Votto.

Pat Burrell – Burl, not Bur-rell, went to college with my girlfriend and slept with one of her friends. That will never get old! (Unless, of course, I find out her ‘friend’ was her, then I might vomit. And breakup with her. While vomiting. Anyway…) Burrell will hit 35 home runs, but I’d try and trade him, except in leagues that count OBP.

Joe Crede – “You can put it on the booooard… YES!” Harrelson’s a doucebag. Oh, and send my regards to Josh Fields.

Franklin Gutierrez – And you thought you’d never have to hear about him again. He turned on a Verlander fastball and sent it down the line for a double. Two days ago, two steals. Today, two hits. Cust kayin’.

Justin Verlander – Rudy’s pick for Cy Young doesn’t look so good. (My pick’s on the DL, sweet!) If it wasn’t for Peralta grounding into a double play with the bases loaded in the first inning, Verlander’s line would look much worse. Verlander was the one AL pitcher in the first tier, I actually considered drafted (I didn’t, but I considered it). Well, I’m sure some pundit is breaking down how Verlander’s curve has flattened because the tilt of his elbow has changed from 42° to 48°. Well, whatever, brainiac. I would not trade for him or trade him away (same with Sabathia). Unfortunately, you need to take a wait and see approach.

Fausto Carmona – I also don’t have him on any team, but he’s continuing what he started last year. Low Ks, okay WHIP, keeping his team in it for a win. He also got his control back after his last start, which is a good sign. Maybe last time out it was too much Cristal after signing that big contract.

Prince Fielder – Gathering all his strength from his inner veggie burger, he went deep. Take that meat lover’s! BTW, I see 45 homers more on the way.

Eric Gagne – I inexplicably left him off this week’s closer look. Probably because he looked good last week. He’s still a ticking bomb. A big, ex-steroid-taking, ticking bomb.

Ryan Zimmerman – I avoided him like the plague in drafts and I wish I could assuage (Word of the Day, May 23rd, 1999) your fears, but I can’t. I don’t see him having a good season. Someone might. I would trade him.

Carlos Quentin – Maybe it’s his good eye, but I love Carlos Quentin, have for a long time. If I wasn’t soooo busy with the Alex Gordon Fan Club, I’d totally start a Quentin one. Anyhoo, he’s getting his at-bats. I would grab him if you had room. Oh, and start the blog GreyLovesQuentin.com, I’ll guest post, if you’ll have me.

Nick Markakis – Three homers, four steals. To start a fire, you need a sparkakis!

Bobby Jenks – I’m no more worried about him today than I was yesterday. Which is to say, I have Dotel on one team.

Jake Peavy and Jeff Francis – Both pitched extremely well. I think I could throw quality start in Petco.

John Lannan - Before you get any ideas, he had 16 Ks in over 45 innings up until tonight. Blip on the radar.

Melky Cabrera – Considering I took him with the 283rd pick in my ‘pert league, I’d say I’m getting value. Are you?

Felix Hernandez looked dominant yesterday. Most impressive thing, eight strikeouts to one walk. Least impressive thing, it was against the A’s. Most reason for concern, he threw 115 pitches. He’s already complained of arm fatigue, why is he pitching the ninth inning? *cough* No bullpen. *cough* (Side note, I dropped Mark Lowe in one league for Brocail. More on Brocail later.) When Felix Hernandez got called up, people were saying he could be the best thing since naked Natalie Portman pictures, and he looked it in ‘05 at the age of 19. But then ‘06 happened and a few people fell off the bandwagon, then ‘07 happened and the bandwagon got derailed. Now it’s ‘08, (no shizz, right?) and Felix Hernandez doesn’t feel like the next big thing anymore. Well, guess what? He’s only 22. Here’s what I said in January when I placed him in my top twenty pitchers overall, “…He could shoot to the top five pitchers by as early as next year. This may be the last time you’ll be able to get him at a bargain for a decade.” And that’s me quoting me! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday:

Jose Reyes – He loves to go on tears. Hold on, it’ll be a fun ride.

Josh Hamilton – It’s boring always being right, but I have him on a few teams too. I’m just hoping he doesn’t succumb to the allure of crack in May. Just Say No! (Or get injured.)

Rafael Furcal – 4 for 4 with a home run. He’s been looking like a great bounce back candidate since February. If someone in your league doesn’t know it, they do now.

A.J. Burnett – Yes, that was him in the 14th inning. Good idea to throw the injury-prone guy out there.

Jason Botts – I’d love to see him get some starts. Might be a good platoon mate when the Rangers are playing lefties at home. Cust kayin’.

Hank Blalock – (Lots of  Rangers news, right?) He’s day-to-day with a sore back. That means a 15-day DL stint that turns to 60-day then he gets mono from Casey Kotchman.

Jason Isringhausen – Struggled to get the save. He’d have to be injured to lose the job. Trade for him.

Jose Valverde – Later today you’ll be getting a closer report, let’s just say Brocail was picked up by me in three leagues last night. Valverde was NOT good before last year.

Carlos Gomez – If you have Miguel Cabrera at third and Helton at first and really need steals, here you are.

Carl Crawford – I believe he gets to 25 home runs this year.

Josh Fogg – What a Razztastic that start was. I jumped down 6 points in the standings. (Farkin’ Mark Redman messed up my perfect day.) Unfortunately, with the shizz Fogg threw up there, Homer Bailey (who’s been outstanding in the minors) might be getting the call soon. I know, that’s not unfortunate for a lot of you.

C.C. Sabathia – Okay, this is purely conjecture, and I welcome others thoughts on this, but ‘member how he threw something like 657 innings last year including the playoffs? I know his velocity has been fine, could there be some residual tiredness thing going on? Not sure, but feel free to CC me your thoughts.

Guess what, ya’ll?! New closer in Atlanta. That’s right the Braves lost Peter Moylan to an injury so Manny Acosta takes over until Soriano returns. Soriano is due back soon, but he’s injury-prone so this may seem flippant, but Accardo came out of nowhere to save a lot of games last year. You never know where saves are going to come from, but we know they will be coming from the new (fill-in) Atlanta Braves closer, Manny Acosta. Anyway, here’s what else I saw:

Alfonso Soriano – Was hurt catching the ball. He didn’t look good at all being helped off the field. Maybe Murton time? I picked up Murton in one NL-Only league, just in case.

Michael Bourn – All he does is steal bases. No, seriously, that’s all he does. Is it me or are there more all-speed, nothing else guys now than ever? Bourn, Gomez, Gathright, Taveras, Pierre, a third of the Giants lineup, etc. It’s a renaissance for speed guys. It’s like someone cracked down on power-enhancing drugs or something. Weird!

Andruw Jones – I said this about three months ago, but he seriously may be retired within three years. He’s lazy, ya’ll.

Erik Bedard – Hits the DL. Yeah, and doodie smells.

Jose Valverde – He was not a reliable closer before last year. Don’t forget about Brocail.

Jair Jurrgens – He walked Willingham on a questionable pitch (who stole his second base of the day!) then Jacobs got a clean double to score one run. Then Willingham inexplicably hit a triple later in the game. Jurrgens looks great so far. I hope people are paying attention. BTW, April 17th is Benihana Thursdays in Marlins Stadium! (I can’t even imagine what this is, but it sounds wonderful. Maybe Alfredo Amezaga flips shrimp tails into his shirt pocket?)

Shawn Chacon – I’m sure glad I have him on my Razzball team. Ugh. Maybe Pineiro can throw a shutout later in the week.

Mark Teixeira – He’s starting slow. Yeah, and doodie still smells.

Derrek Lee – He’s headed for a big year.

Chad Qualls – Might be slowly working his way into the closer role.

Aaron Hill – Could be very valuable to balance out your fifth outfielder who only steals.

Aaron Harang – I know it’s a little consolation because I have him on a few teams too, but the wind was blowing out big time in Wrigley.

Joey Votto – I’m getting the sneaky suspicion that Dusty might actually play him regularly.

Krispie Young – 13 hits, five of which are home runs, with 18 strikeouts for a .228 average. Cust kayin’.

It’s very rare that a player of Big Papi’s caliber falls into this bad of a slump. Maybe burying that David Ortiz jersey had an adverse effect? Let’s look at some things we know. Ortiz bats third in arguably the best lineup in baseball. He pats his hands together before every pitch like he’s making arepas. He still knows how to take a walk. What we don’t know? His actual age. He’s supposedly 33 years old, but he’s Latin so I’d say he’s anywhere from 35 to 47 (which makes him anywhere from two to twelve years older than Pujols). For the purposes of this, we’re going to assume last year was a harbinger of things to come — that Papi’s best years are behind him. Let’s look at last year, he hit 116/35/117/.332. If that’s a sign of trouble, then I’d like to fill up my team with guys whose jerseys are buried under Yankee Stadium. But, wait, could his knee be bothering him? Sure, but it was bothering him last year and look again at those numbers. So he’s in the worst slump of his career, he’s hobbling around Fenway like a drunk Bea Arthur, yet I’m telling you this is the absolute best time to buy David Ortiz. That’s right, trade for Ortiz — steal him away from your opponents because his stock won’t be low for long. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday:

Evan Longoria – He looks really solid. I still don’t think you should sell your dead nana’s jewelry to acquire him.  Remember Braun’s ‘07 was the exception not the rule. Longoria hit a fastball in the seats. Off speed pitches are usually the bump in the rookie ride.

Nick Markakis – He has four steals already. If he gets to 30 homers (which he should eventually), you’re gonna wish you had him.

Carlos Gomez – In your box score it shows a K in the first inning. He struckout trying to bunt with two strikes. You’re thinking, “Well, that shows how committed he was to moving the guy over.” Dude, he was leading off the game! I really don’t think you want CarGo on your team right now. He doesn’t know what’s coming or going with pitch selection.

Alexis Rios – Sweet stroke meet Sherrill’s fastball.

Pat Neshek – I love middle men, there I said it. But when they’re struggling — ugh. I dropped Neshek for Dotel in one league I had him.

Zach Greinke – He should’ve got out of the third without giving up any runs. Did he crawl into a ball and start weeping? No. He handled it very well. He’s passed the mental health check so far. Unfortunately, he’s not striking out men like he should be. Am I worried? His ERA went up after giving up only one run in 9 innings. Of course, I’m not worried.

Adam Jones – He looked really solid. I still wouldn’t touch him.

Rafael Betancourt – It’s got to be a matter of time. Borowski cannot get people out. How long can the Indians let a guy who you wouldn’t trust in the seventh inning keep getting the ball in the ninth? I don’t think very long. If you have Borowski without Betancourt on your team, I would try and get Betancourt in a trade quick-fast.

Brian Bannister sports a .86 ERA, a miniscule WHIP and three wins AND beat Francisco Liriano. Can this continue? His strikeout rate is pretty poor, but in one of the ten team mixed leagues I’m in, I picked up Bannister today. It’s a league of owners that are better friends than they are fantasy players. I don’t assume Bannister is still out there in many leagues, but for a few of those leagues where players aren’t quick to the waiver wire or with team owners who don’t pick up Royals because of what they have meant in the past, Bannister might be out there, I’d pick him up even in those shallow leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday:

Nick Markakis – I’ve been walking around my house screaming, “I am Markakis! No, I am Markakis!” for the last two weeks trying to spur him on to greatness. (My girlfriend has been thrilled.) Finally, he went yard. I hope this is the sparkakis he needs to go on a hot streak. He’s a notorious slow starter so if he can start hot this year, we could be in for a nice ride.

Francisco Liriano – Ah, the aforementioned Liriano. As I said on Friday, you should’ve traded him on Saturday.

Alex Gordon – I hope he reaches the 20/20 season I predicted because I have him in just about every league except for my NL-only ones (and don’t think I didn’t try and sneak him through).

Cliff Lee – I think he’s on Rudy’s list of players who should be Asian given their name. Anyway, pitched a great game against the woeful A’s. He has the Twins, Royals and Mariners up next. Two out of three on the woeful scale isn’t bad.

Jon Rauch – He’s great for K, Whip and ERA help so I wouldn’t drop him just because Cordero is back. (Because, frankly, I don’t know how long Cordero is going to be back.)

Joe Crede – Do I think Crede finishes the season with 184 homers and 377 RBIs? Maybe not, but he could hit three more homers this week then reverts to the Crede we know and hate. I’d pick him up until he reverts if you have room. You gotta ride hot streaks.

Wandy Rodriguez – I played the Wandy start at home/sit on the road game last year. It worked out well for me.

Burke Badenhop – I watched him play before I put in my claim. Saying he’s a poor man’s Derek Lowe, is an insult to poor men everywhere.

Shane Victorino – While I didn’t get him in any leagues this year, because he ended up going much higher than I would’ve paid for him, I still love The Flying Hawaiian™ and I hope he gets well soon. Meantime, put him on your DL. I hope Victorino doesn’t prove to be injury-prone his entire career because he’s beginning to seem that way.

Javier Vazquez – Man, the ‘08 Tigers and ‘27 Yankees comparisons ended real quick.

Franklin Gutierrez – No idea if he’ll ever get a chance to play again regularly after starting so slow, but if he does, I might go back for more pain. He’s talented and is only 25. As of right now, I’m done with anyone who regularly gets benched for Jason Michaels.

Johnny Cueto – Well, we all knew there would be some speed bumps, but Jason Bay? C’mon, your farkin’ initials are JC. Honestly, he walked one guy and had some balls up in the strike zone. I’ll take my chances if every pitcher on my staff gives up one walk against six strikeouts in six innings.