Seriously, it’s week one and you already need my help? Really? Your draft go that poorly that you’re looking for a hitter to stream during the very first week of the season? Well, who am I to complain if I’m getting a readership right off the bat, I guess. But next year, why don’t you contact me a little sooner. We can do lunch together. Heck, I might even spring for the check. We might even eat at one of those fancy places that puts a lemon in the water glass where all the waiters remember the daily specials and make you stare up their nose when you talk to them. We can bring in a fake fly and put it in the soup to get them in trouble with their manager and watch some snooty on snooty action which isn’t as much fun but much more sanitary than Snooki on Snooki action. Wait, where was I? Oh right, it’s week 1 and you’re already struggling to compete. I’m no soothsayer but I foresee a tough road ahead for you. But in any event, that’s why I’m here, to guide you to weekly fantasy glory. I’m going to start this crazy little thing off with a hitter who really likes Homeschooling in David Murphy and how he can help you out for week 1 of the 2013 fantasy baseball season…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Not sure if you heard, but last week on Labor Day, some bored Casino in the Twin Cities spent half-a-day cooking a 1000 pound hamburger.
Guinness Records representative Philip Robertson verified the record for biggest burger. He called the feat a result of “remarkable teamwork” and said the burger “actually tastes really good.” Black Bear’s burger included 60 pounds of bacon, 50 pounds of lettuce, 50 pounds of sliced onions, 40 pounds of pickles and 40 pounds of cheese.Please, blog, may I have some more?
So much to write about this week, so little space to put it in. So let’s meditate, gyrate, and procreate our thoughts on this challenge, and condense down to one single topic. After a large amount of concentrating and Captain Morgan, I have read your mind and figured out what you, as my readership, wants to discuss.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Last week, we got together for a Sunday brunch and enjoyed ourselves some Spam and eggs. What’s it made out of? Who cares! Fried to a crisp with an egg on top, maybe some rice or sourdough bread on the side, yes sir… it’s like a Hawaiian beach inside of your mouth.Please, blog, may I have some more?
When I think of a creeper, two images flow into my mind— Bachmann-eyezed! and the song ‘Creep’. This combo punch is usually enough to haunt my entire day as I hum Radiohead and cry fearful tears, afraid that I’ll be accused of being part of the Muslim Brotherhood and then be stared at profusely by those hypnotizing conservative eyes.Please, blog, may I have some more?
This week’s subject was mentioned in Grey’s buy/sell column, and while I typically try to avoid doubling up on a Grey recommendation for my Creeper post, Grey only gave him a two sentence blurb. Consider the following several paragraphs positive reinforcement, a reminder, or an admonition.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Quick recap of last week’s Creeper:
When I wrote last week’s post, the Red Sox hadn’t yet set their rotation, leaving some of Adam Lind‘s value for this week up in the air. That’s now changed, and Boston’s throwing Clay Buchholz, Josh Beckett, and Aaron Cook against the Jays.Please, blog, may I have some more?