Springer springer hit a dinger. Actually he hit five of them in week 9. Until last week you might say that he was having a rather pedestrian start to the 2017 season. Coming into the week he wasn’t even a top 30 outfielder with respect to points. As a matter of fact his starting percentage was slowly taking a dip, and as a result, there were quite a few angry managers staring at 45 points on their bench last week. I have a rule that I nearly always abide by in weekly league: Play your studs. Well if George Springer was curious about what it’s like to be in the top 20, he now knows as his week 9 performance has catapulted him in the 17 spot.

Enough about this George dude from Houston, what you all really want to know is who won week 9. Actually there are probably only a small handful that really care. That would be those of you that had at least an outside chance of winning. Well wait no longer. The winner is the contestant that picked George Springer. Since there was only one of you that did so, the mystery winner should be easy to figure out. Ok, fine. I won’t make you go back and do the leg work. The winner was Fungazi with 90 points. Fungazi picked George Springer (45), Carlos Correa (40) and Brian Dozier (5). Dozier’s five points were meaningless considering Springer and Correa were the top two highest scoring players of the week. Second place was The Padre with 73 points. Like I said, no thanks to Dozier. Congrats Fungazi!

Here are the top 5 from Week 9:

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Okay, full disclosure. This post was planned for last week, but after Masahiro Tanaka and Jose Quintana‘s sh!t shows of a performance I decided I’d rather chug beers and yell racial slurs at online images of those two bastards. I was actually planning to title this post Smoak and Mirrors, but in Saturday’s Hey Batter³ Contest post Larry Chip 10 picked Smoak ‘n Mirrors as one of his three batters. Once that happened I realized I was going to have to either shift gears or throw him a footnote. It didn’t help that Mike Maher titled his most recent Top-100 Hitters post Full Bour Or Smoak And Mirrors? So here we have a slightly modified title for today’s points league post.

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Do you know the difference between Anthony Rendon and Kris Bryant? Well if we are comparing them from a points league perspective, the answer is “very little at all”. The two have posted extremely similar numbers so far this season. To be more precise, Rendon has 145 points and Bryant has 146. And while we’re comparing, Bryant has had 16 additional plate appearances. While I’d obviously prefer to have Bryant, I just wanted to point out how much of a return Rendon’s owners are getting on their draft day investment.

Anthony Rendon led all batters with 43 points in week 8. Sadly, no one in the contest picked him. Next was Lucas Duda with 39. No one picked the Duda either. Then Charlie Blackmon (35 and Unpickable), Adam Duvall (35), Anthony Rizzo (33 and Unpickable) and Jordy Mercer (30). It’s not until Jose Abreu and Melky Cabrera, each with 29 points, do we find a batter that was picked by someone in week 8.

You Know Nothing, J.T. Snow picked Melky, but he was not the week’s winner. That honor goes to Smallwine who selected Jose Abreu, Jose Bautista and Michael Conforto for a total of 71 points. After finishing second in week 7, Smallwine jumped right back in the saddle and took care of business. Nice work! Don’t under do it finished second with 64 points.

Here are the top 5 from Week 8:

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Mookie Betts led all hitters in week 6 with 45 points. Unfortunately, if you placed your bets on Betts, then you earned yourself 0 zero points since he is an Unpickable. Next was Buster Posey with 37 points. Unfortunately no one picked Buster. After Posey was Carlos Correa who scored 36 points. Again no one picked Correa. As it turns out no one picked the top 22 highest scoring batters. The first batter that was actually selected in week 6’s contest was Mark Reynolds who scored 24 points. So the question remains, who deserves this week’s honors, Buster Posey or Mark Reynolds? How about Buster Reynolds?

It’s not Posey’s fault that no one picked him. Last week the San Francisco backstop hit four home runs en route to his 37 point performance. He now has 7 homers on the season is on pace for a career high 27. With 102 points on the season, Buster is once again leading the way at the catcher position. Surprise, surprise!

Week 6 brings us our first tie of the year. There was actually a three-way tie for first place. Who doesn’t love a good three-way! With 57 points, DonSlaughtOnslaught, Thor da Man and MattH didn’t exactly light up the high scorers list. But there can be only one winner. And that winner is the contestant that picked Ian Desmond (15 points), Mark Reynolds (24 points) and Cody Bellinger (18 points). That contestant is Thor da Man. For those unfamiliar with the rules, a tie goes to the runner. I mean a tie goes to the contestant that submits his/her entry first.

Here are the top 5 from Week 6:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As I was rummaging through player statistics looking for some bit of data that would help both me and my eight loyal readers, for some reason I began to wonder if it would be possible to add a team to an existing points league right now using only players that went largely undrafted in the majority of leagues to fill my starting lineup. I’m defining “largely undrafted” as any player with an average draft position of 220 or greater. It escapes me as to how I arrived at the 220 number, but I think it’s safe to say that anyone drafted at that point wasn’t really a player the drafting team intended to bank its success upon. So the rules are simple, I construct a starting lineup of 16 players (10 batters, 4 starting pitchers and 2 relievers) using only players with an ADP greater than 219. These players do not need to be on the waiver wire. I am allowed to take them from their current teams. Without this clause, said exercise would be futile because, at this point, all waiver wire gems have already been snatched up.

For those of you that thought draft season was over, guess again.

Without further ado, let’s draft our expansion team…

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Speaking of Alex Wood, he’s got my sundial pointing a high noon. Maybe that’s because I picked him up this week in every one of my points leagues and started him for Monday’s 11 strikeout win. Do you know what I call it when you start a pitcher from the Dodgers in a late game and wake up to find out that he struck out 11 batters? Morning Wood! Click here to see my woody.

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I apologize in advance for the rushed post this week, but due to natural circumstances, I’ve got about ten minutes to put this puppy together. That’s not including the hour or so it takes to calculate all the numbers I need to figure everything out. In week 4 Ryan Zimmerman scored a total of 51 points. Ryan Zimmerman? That’s right. Zimmerman hasn’t been fantasy relevant since 2013, but his best year was back in 2009. I wrote about him yesterday, and today I’m going to plagiarize myself.

“Among players with at least 40 plate appearances, Ryan Zimmerman has the best points per plate appearances (1.18). This number will vary from league to league based on its scoring system, but regardless, he’s up there. If I said I saw this coming I’d be lying. And even though I’m comfortable with lying, I still can’t say I saw this coming. If it were me I’d sell high. He’s bound to find his way onto the gloriously overused 10-day DL. But as Grey would say, I wouldn’t sell him for a used Squatty Potty and a pack of wet wipes, but I’d certainly explore my options.” -malamoney

Ten people picked Zimmerman, including the winner. After Zimmerman, Trea Turner posted 48 points. And then Daniel Murphy and Hernan Perez each scored 39. Seven people, including the winner, picked Turner. Twenty-one people, once again including the winner, picked Murphy. That means that the winner picked the top three players for the week. That’s a perfect score. There isn’t, but there should probably be a bonus for doing so. I guess winning will have to suffice. No one picked Perez.

The unanimous winner of week four was Denhusk with 138 points. Congratulations on an awesome week and welcome to the playoffs. Out of curiosity, did you happen to get your hands on a legit copy of Grays Sports Almanac?

Here are the top five finishers from Week 4:

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Another week, another contest. Another contest, another winner. But before I announce who won week 3, let’s find out which batters accrued the most points. Scoring 43 points, Freddie Freeman and Bryce Harper led the way. Since Harper is an Unpickable, Mr. Freeman stands alone. In 29 plate appearances Double F hit four home runs, drove in six, scored seven and stole one. He also farted 42 times. Now there’s a stat you can only get at Razzball. On the season Freeman is batting .380 with seven homers, and is tied with Mike Trout at 85 points. Somehow he only has ten RBIs, but I’ll leave that statistical blackhole anomaly for a much more experience writer to tell you about…

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Over the last four seasons Jose Quintana has averaged 461 points per season, finishing as a top 30 (or better) starting pitcher in each of those seasons. Over that same span of seasons he has pitched at least 200 innings, and while he isn’t a strikeout pitcher, averaging just 7.73 punch outs per nine, he has also averaged a very respectable 3.34 earned run average. Quintana might not be a stud, but he has certainly proven to be consistently good. And consistently good is great in points leagues.

Considered by many to be a top trade candidate this season, Quintana stands to get a nice boost in value if he ends up playing for a contender (aka not for the White Sox). Put all of this together and I own him nearly all of my leagues. Take a look at what he’s done this season and you can imagine I’m not very pleased with the results thus far. In his first four starts this year he has averaged just under five points start. Clayton Kershaw and Chris Sale have averaged nearly that many points per inning! Ok, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but it’s not far from the truth. You’ve got to be kidding me. Quintana better wake up soon or I’m going to have give Comfort Inn my business.

Here’s what else I’ve seen thus far in points leagues…

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It’s week four and The Hey Batter, Batter, Batter contest is in full swing. And since it’s week four that means it’s time to announce week two’s winner. Before I do, let’s take a look at the top batters from that week. Eric Thames is hitting the ball like a guy that just whacked the shit out of the ball in the Korean Baseball Organization. Oh wait, he did that? For the last three years Thames has done his best Mike Trout impression for the NC Dinos by averaging 41 homers, 127 RBIs, 114 runs scored, a .347 batting average and 21 stolen bases. Heck, those stats make Trout seem like a second rounder. Many did not expect his success to translate back to the MLB, but I wasn’t as skeptical. My preseason projections were higher than most as I had him as a top twenty outfielder in points leagues. His 200+ ADP allowed me to scoop him up in many of my important leagues. I can’t imagine he keeps up his current pace, but he should be opening up a lot of eyes. Unfortunately the “buy low” period was during draft season.

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