Image result for tyler saladino mustache   Image result for tim anderson

I awoke on Monday, still discombobulated by the fact that some individuals decided that it would be a good idea to shorten our existence on Earth by one hour, when… But Son, we get that hour back later in the year. Que? Talk about a frivolous thing to concoct. I’d rather listen to my wife talk in circles about some thing that she often talks about than try to understand why we need to do this. But…I try and leave no stone unturned, so like a good little grasshopper, I Googled why we have Daylight Savings. Mmm hmmm. Yeah. I see…..Still cockamamie. Anyways, as I was saying before I rudely interrupted myself, I received THE Razzball Son signal. If you don’t know what that is, just click here. No more discombobulation. If you’ve ever taken Ritalin, that’s what happened to my mind. If you’ve never taken Ritalin, do it. The mind just warps into a state of Zen-like focus.

So, Grey writes “Yo, Son. Write something on Tim Anderson.” Why I ask? Grey’s response…

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Face Off, an American classic. If you haven’t watched it, F@#! off. Your life is incomplete. I was going to write a brief synopsis of the movie, for those that haven’t seen it, but I don’t want those folk reading my piece anyway. Go watch the damn movie!!! For those of you on tilt and want to rip my head off, I do love you guys…especially since you actually took the time to read what I just wrote. Seriously, though, the Razzball community is the best thing out there.

So, why Face Off  for this week’s Bear or Bull?

In the most brilliant maneuver since the Greeks infiltrated Troy with a wooden horse, the Dodgers infected a division rival while keeping one of their top pitchers. Here’s how it went down:

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Before I begin, I want to pay homage to Big Magoo, who is one of the more respected writers at Razzball and previous author of this weekly article. I imagine that he is walking the earth like Ryu, contemplating the dopeness of his existence.

With that said, I want to introduce myself…

I’m Son. My initials are SS, just like Slim Shady! Mind blown! I’ve mostly done stuff over on the football side, but have been pumping out more baseball content, primarily Bear or Bull.

If you’re not familiar with the One Man’s Trash article, it’s time to get existential y’all!!! This should get you in the mood.

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Greetings! Last I recall, the Elders and I were passing Thai sticks in the Secret Pool of Kuang Si, discussing some profoundly important subjects while we took turns etching ancient symbols into the skin directly on and surrounding the pubic region. But of course, our bodies are all immaculately smooth, hairless and chiseled, as if made from marble and then formed in the scorching lava of Mount Kilimanjaro. Why does this matter, you ask? The context will be necessary on our journey together through what looks to be a tumultuous 2017. Trust me in this, and the opportunities for massive glory in all forms of life may fall at your crusty feet like droplets of acid rain that will one day doom this planet (but not yet), burning all your self-pity and self-doubt away, peeling your skin off like a viper, you can be born anew, with a clearer vision and a more artful plan of attack. Anyways, I just woke up on an airplane, as it seems I’m headed back to the United States and below we have what one could consider a synopsis of sorts, of what the Elders and I discussed about fantasy baseball and “other things”.

I am the great Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight! Take Heed!

Razzball Commenter Leagues are open! Play against our contributors and your fellow readers for prizes. Join here!

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This will be the most important thing I ever write for Razzball. I’m not into hyperbole, so that makes it true. Seriously, though, if it ain’t good then it will probably be the last thing I ever write for Razzball and I will endure the same fate as my fellow Korean, Kim Jong Chul.

Yesterday was the most memorable day of my young Razzball life. It all started when I received an email from the Supreme Leader Jr, aka Fantasy Master Lothario, aka Grey Albright. In it he wrote, “Yo, Son! JB is in town. Let’s go pillage the village and bleep the women!!!” Joking about the last part by the way. Words can only say so much…

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If you’ve been reading the Bear or Bull series, you probably think that I’m some old dude that likes missionary and doesn’t know what bling is. Murphy over Odor and Bradley over Buxton? Well, I did soup up my rice burners almost a decade before the first Fast and Furious movie was released and I have shifted my investment portfolio allocation slightly away from growth. I just talked about investment portfolio allocation. SMH. Anyways, to prove that I can still get my YOLO on and be hip, I’m eschewing the safety and embracing the dark side by advocating Wil Myers (NFBC average ADP 58) over Jose Abreu (NFBC average ADP 63). Many will probably argue that’s not a big deal, but tell a smoker it’s not a big deal for not puffing two straight days after 20+ years of the habit. Baby steps. Enjoy this week’s musical interlude. Man, I am old…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Image result for rize of the prodigy byron buxton  Image result for byron buxton and jackie bradley in same picture


All those B’s in the title got me bobbing my head to this. Man, I can listen to that song all day. Anyways, back to the order at hand. In preseason NFBC drafts, Jackie Bradley Jr. is being selected, on average, with the 146th overall pick. Byron Buxton is going at pick 147. I thought this would be an easy and straightforward piece to research and write. If you read last week’s Bear or Bull, you know that I eschew the hackers for the more disciplined batters. Choosing between the two proved to be a far more difficult endeavor, though.

In 331 plate appearances last year, Buxton struck out 35.6% of the time and had a 15% swinging strike rate. He managed to hit .225 WITH a .329 BABIP. Bradley Jr., on the other hand, clubbed 26 home runs, scored 94 runs, drove in 87, stole nine bases, and hit .267 while striking out 22% and walking 10% of the time. The 26 home runs really stood out to me, as he had never eclipsed 10 in any professional season. While ESPN Home Run Tracker labeled 10 of Bradley’s homers as “just enough,” his average true distance (399.1 feet) was close to the  MLB average of 400 feet. The more I kept looking at the advanced stats, the more comfortable I was getting with my initial assessment of Bradley over Buxton. He was hitting more line drives, hard contact % went up, GB%, FB%, and HR/FB were all in-line, and his plate discipline numbers actually got better. Yet, like any good grasshopper, I kept searching. Why you ask? Maybe it was because I didn’t want to get type-cast into being the GET OFF MY LAWN-boring-old guy. Whatever the reason may be, I found what I was looking for. Or maybe it found me. Or maybe…

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Image result for do you like to live dangerously

I knew this girl in high school that got bored easily and always needed that tinge of drama or danger in her life. She was definitely not the missionary type. She enjoyed conflict because it made her feel alive. On the other hand, I knew girls that just reveled in the safety of companionship. Did I just humble brag that I actually knew a girl? Indeed, and not just one girl but girls with that capital “S”!!! My parents knew what they were doing when they named me Stan Son. Shout out to Momma and Poppa Son.

The differences are what make life awesome, interesting, and fun to experience. And so it is in the fantasy baseball world. There are so many ways to attack the maze that, more often than not, our personal biases and philosophies will dictate which player we choose.

Case in point, compare Daniel Murphy with Rougned Odor. They both play second base, bat left-handed, and are being selected close to each other in fantasy drafts, but they are very different players. The one you select will shed light on your personality, so let’s delve into each a little further and see if you are indeed a psycho that likes to live dangerously!!!

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Jose Ramirez is a switch-hitter that experiments with positions more than the Kama-Sutra. With Yahoo, he was eligible at 3B/2B/SS/OF, while he was classified as a 3B/OF in ESPN. Ranked as the 17th overall third baseman by Grey, Ramirez poses an interesting case for sabermetrics analysis. He had his first role with consistent playing time in 2016, similar to fellow star shortstop Francisco Lindor. I’ll be analyzing the two players together, to demonstrate the relative value generated by Ramirez.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

IFFB, how can I explain it
I’ll take it frame by frame it
To have y’all all jumping, shouting, saying it
I is for the in, F is for the field, F is for the fly, don’t be the scumbag guy
The last B, well that’s very simple

Okay, I’ll stop now. That was my feeble attempt to pay homage to NAUGHTY BY NATURE. Damn, I feel old now. GET OFF MY DAMN LAWN!!!

What’s IFFB? If you just Googled it…and enjoyed what you saw, then I don’t know what to tell you. I just got you to Google it huh?

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