In Fantasy Baseball, it doesn’t matter if it’s daily or redraft, strikeouts hand out nerd boners. Don’t worry, straight fantasy baseball players, it’s not a gay thing (not that there’s anything wrong with that). It comes down to playing a sport that is built for strikeouts dominating your pitching desires and in fact, I’d say in daily fantasy a 10 K day would have you bordering on priapism. So pardon me while I go back to the Trevor Bauer well with you. Yes, we’ve done this before and with success. For some reason, Trevor at home feels…well, at home as he has a 3.32 ERA, 9.11 K/9 and a .309 wOBA against at Progressive Field. Obviously he’s not perfect at home – he does have a 1.34 WHIP and a 3.6 BB/9 ratio there – but for the price of $6,500, you could have yourself 10 K. Oh, I see that got you all flushed. So go light some candles, sprinkle rose petals around the laptop you build your DK lineups on and put on some appropriate music to anoint the mood while you anoint yourself with other things…ahhhh yeah. Maybe his start will be so successful, you can afford the plumber to fix your wife’s leaky pipes and order an extra large italian sausage pizza like she’s always asked for. Bet she’d like that. But before our ‘innuendo’ turns into ‘in your end hole’, let’s get this show rolling. Here’s Razzball’s picks for today’s slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 team league of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to check the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

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Nothing captures a reader’s interest more than an Al Gore reference. At this point in the long fantasy baseball season you don’t need me to tell you that Jarrod Dyson is a good pickup for SAGNOF. Likewise, it’s not in anybody’s best interest for me to write a thousand words on a player who may only hold steals value in some deep AL-only league. However, there are still schedules to look at and several players that have speed were called up to their respective clubs in the past week. Billy Burns of the Athletics didn’t do much with his first stint in the majors, but could chip in a steal or three down the stretch even if his role is as a pinch runner. Likewise for Terrance Gore of the Royals. Gore stole 47 bags in the minors this season and was caught only seven times. In 2013 he swiped 68 bags and was caught only 8 times. Gore has already recorded a steal as a pinch runner and should see opportunities for more of the same in the weeks ahead. Other speedy call-ups include Jonathan Villar, Dalton Pompey, and Aaron Hicks.

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Yo, it’s me, I’m back in the flesh! Well, I’ve never been in the flesh on this site. At least not yet. Give me some time, I’ve been giving out my phone number to TMZ in the hopes I get hacked so they can gain access to all my deepest, dirtiest secrets. But until that day, I keep grinding away at Daily Fantasy. Heck, I love it so much I’m doing DraftKings Football for Razzball as well. Speaking of football, did ya miss me last week? You really shouldn’t have. I gave you a Saturday article leading with Vidal Nuno the morning I departed to Chicago for Razzball Radio‘s #32in32in32 tour where Nick Capozzi and I drove around like mad men across these great states and covered a fantasy draft in all the 32 cities with an NFL club. Well, I was there for the final leg of the tour. If you wanna know how the whole thing really went, I’m fielding offers for my interview. I’m thinking Barbara Walters will be calling any time now…yup…any…time…but while I wait for that phone to ring, let’s discuss some Daily Fantasy Baseball. So we got this kid named Marcus Stroman. He’s good…hrm, thought I had more to go on here. Oh, right, the young Cubs. I’m a big proponent of ignoring season stats by about mid-June. Guys who were hot, cool and vice versa, young guys get called up and overperform for a while and another guy strains a muscle but stays in the lineup when he shouldn’t and his stats sag worse than…well, I’m not gonna ADMIT to looking at your g-ma’s boobs so lets just not go there, m’kay? All this to say, I use ‘last 7 days’ and the team stats when I do so. The Cubs are striking out at a heavy rate of 24.6% heading into Sunday’s games. And just to complete my homework, I checked the boxscore from Sunday for them: 12 K, 8 of which came from the starter. They are still a scary lineup in that there’s power up and down it but I think Stroman and his $6,800 sets you up well to spend as needed elsewhere on a semi-shortened Monday night slate. Speaking of said slate, let’s get to it. Here’s our picks for September 8th contests on DraftKings…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 team league of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to check the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The ghost of Mac Dre has been blowing up my dream phone and telling me that Jonathan Schoop is a MI Sleeper for January-Grey. He is reminding me of another MI who had a great finish last season and has been a breakout this year. (It’s Brian Dozier if you’re not following me.) I’m taking a scarcity position schmotato this week as I try to reinforce the dropping of dead wright and the addition of hot bats. You might think it’s blasphemy to drop a David Wright type player to improve your chances, but sometime you gotta sin to win. Don’t worry, fantasy Jesus understands. Hey dummy, what’s with the title? Oh that, I pronounce Schoop’s name Shoop, because I have no idea how it’s pronounced. The only Shoop I could think of is Mark Harmon’s Mr. Shoop character from the 80’s classic Summer School. Hey, I’m a sucker for former UCLA quarterback’s. I’ve probably seen that flick more times than I would like to admit, but it was a cable staple for years on end. Speaking of staples, frequent commenter Nick the Dick is taking over my hip-hop Sunday today with a few select tracks for you. I respect that he threw me some west coast and some new takes with the old school. By making himself rough and rugged, he has shown how he proceeds to his roots. I can’t help my mellow self today, like 1982 me, who was a lot more kick back than the grouch I am today.

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Well it’s finally here, we all knew it was coming…. Today is the day all the dollars leave the baseball side of DFS and move on over to football as it’s the unofficial first day of Fall with the NFL’s 2014 season kicking off. It’s okay, me and the other 10 guys playing daily fantasy baseball this afternoon are going to clean up! As you probably gleaned from the heading, I’m going to be playing with my Dickey today. It’s also only fitting to go with R.A on a Hip-Hop Sunday. R.A. Dickey that is; baseball’s own Rugged Man (?) faces the Boston Red Sox at Fenway this afternoon, and I like the cut of his jib. Two starts ago, he put up 18.7 DraftKings points against the very same Boston lineup, and I could see an easy 20ish point performance from Dickey today with his price low enough that you can free up some cash to invest in bats. What’s not to like? The Red Sox have had a couple of good games of late but they’re still far from a lineup to be feared. Look for Dickey to put up a line somewhere in the neighborhood of 7 innings, 6-7 K’s, and under 2 ER’s. So go ahead and grab your Dickey if you love Hip-Hop!

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 team league of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to check the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last week was about speculating which players might be getting the call this September and providing any kind of fantasy value in redraft leagues. With September now a week old, we have the names of the players who have indeed been added to rosters. With all of these call-ups, it’s important to remember that playing time could be sparse and their impact in a 12-team standard mixed league may be minimal. However, those of us who are playing in deeper leagues or keepers may have been rostering some of these players already. In that case their call-ups are more meaningful. They can add depth to the fantasy roster and sometimes it’s just fun to get a look at someone you’ve been hoarding in your NA spot or on your farm. Additionally, just because September 1st has come and gone doesn’t mean more players can’t be added as the month progresses and the MiLB playoffs come to an end. We’ll take a look at the pitchers next time, but for now let’s dive into some of the bats that got the call to the majors this past week…

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The best part of playing DFS this time of year? Having a horse in the race even if you don’t have a horse in the race. No more phoning it in from August 1st until the end of the season just because the team I drafted is out of it. Joey Votto, Jose Fernandez, and Prince Fielder. What could go wrong? With DFS, I get to draft a brand new team every day and therefore I am never out of it. Unless of course I put my life savings down on a cash game and lose. In which case I really am out of it. I thought the Generals were due! Today’s pitching play is Francisco Liriano ($9,500), who has re-rediscovered himself this season. While his walk rate is still high (4.3 BB/9) he is also sporting a nice K/9 of 9.6. Outside of the egg he laid against the Braves two weeks ago (7 ER) Liriano has been great. The Cubs are better with the arrival of some of their youngsters but Chicago still has the worst strikeout percentage in baseball against left-handed pitchers (25%) making them a nice matchup for Liriano.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to check the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Koji Uehara has been removed from the closer role temporarily after surrendering two homers in a blown save on Thursday night. This was just the latest in the series of unfortunate innings. In his last six appearances he’s given up a total of 10 runs and 14 hits. Owners know Uehara has been very un-Koji like for a while now, posting a 5.09 ERA in 17.2 innings since the All-Star break, while opponents have batted .307 against him. Bad news for Koji owners, but for those desperate for saves in these final weeks, this news could be Mujica to your ears. Edward Mujica will reportedly take over as closer for the next few days. If you’re scrambling for saves,  Edward could be one of the last of the Mujicas available as far as closers go. Is that enough Mujica puns for you? Because I made a whole list of them. Sorry, they’re all pretty bad. Mujica’s numbers aren’t quite as bad, but they’re not great either. He’s got a 4.13 ERA and a 1.36 WHIP on the season, but he’s been much better since the All-Star break posting a 1.53 ERA in 17.2 innings, with batters hitting just .242 off him. He should be able to net you a couple saves over the next week, but he’s no sure thing to lock up the job for the rest of the season. Manager John Farrell said the plan is for Uehara to regain the role, but its certainly possible Mujica could run away with the job. Just don’t drop your Koji Uehraras just yet. Regardless, if you’re as desperate for saves as I am for compliments and affection, Edward Mujica in the closer role could help save your fantasy season.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

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So here we are in week 24 if you don’t count the All-Star break. Where did the time go? It seems like only yesterday that this whole marathon got started. Tehol was speaking of the blessings bestowed upon Dominic Brown by the elder gods, Grey was telling you pitching was crazy deep, and Sky was freaking Nick and everyone else out with his creepy masks in the background of his podcast segments. Things were simple then, we all had hope, some of us still do. Oh who am I kidding you read Razzball of course you have at least one team in the playoffs. Everyone knows we only cater to savvy fantasy owners and snappy dressers. Maybe mustache aficionados also, but they only read Grey for the avatar. Mustachioed men are like the rich and Greek Nationalists, they stick with their own.

Regardless, the end is neigh good citizens of fantasy land. It’s now officially the end of  the beginning of the season. My beginning just so happens to last 5 months. The real ending for fantasy and real life players alike is that last month chasing a championship. Hence the end of the beginning, beginning of the end title. It’s also a not so subtle nod to my favorite Murs album  and possibly song, Done Deal.  The point is you have 3 weeks left max, and should be doing all you can to edge your league mates in the H2H playoffs or Roto standings. Either way we’re all hustling like Freeway Ricky Ross, and I mean the Drug Dealer not the rapper. I’d only say we were like Rick Ross the rapper if I was in a room with Matt Adams and Billy Butler. Even then it would be about them and not me. For the record I’m built like a Greek God and bearded like one as well. I’m sort of a fantasy sports version of Dan Bilzerian, but without the trust fund, harem, and over the top douchiness. Well I guess the last one is up for debate. Okay everything I just said about myself is up for debate…Sad Trombone.

You know what isn’t up for debate (Segue! FTW) the quality of the high end double dipping starters this week. We have 4! Count’em! 4 must start options this week in Clayton Kershaw, Felix Hernandez, Max Scherzer, and Jon Lester. That’s great for any owner with those guys and bad news bears for any owner facing them in the playoffs. It’s okay there’s some hidden gems in the lower tiers with some good matchups. Also feel free to chime in with any double dippers flying under the radar. Whether you feel I’m overlooking them, or that they have under appreciated fantasy appeal. We’re all in this together, unless you’re in one of my leagues, then you’re on your own.

The tier names this week are a nod to my all-time favorite HipHop Group Gang Starr…

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If you haven’t noticed, there’s a little something called football that just kicked off, but baseball is still in full swing over at DraftKings. You know those puns were intended! Anyways, many DFS peeps are preoccupied with pigskin pandemonium, and now is the time to swoop in and loot some overlay while people sleep on our pastime. It’s now September, which means MLB rosters have expanded like the pasta in your garbage disposal (keep it out of there), so stop staring at your fantasy football team(s) for a minute and go explore your options on the baseball side – there’s still fun to be had. There’s also plenty of value out there, so check the selections below, and don’t forget about the DFSBot, which is doing the damn thing until the last pitch is thrown.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?