No, that’s not a racist title. C’mon, really? Why would I go there? Besides, ‘Alfredo The Dark’ doesn’t even sound racist. Actually, sounds like your character name when you go out LARP’ing. Lemme guess, you start with a +5 in magic and wit but are low in power and physical combat. And, duh, you have black magic and not white magic. Am I nailing this? Mmm hmmm, I see your 20 sided die in your hand there. Please tell me it’s at least steam punk genre. Loved the Lord of the Rings but really don’t care if you’re out here battling orcs. Bores me. BTW, have you ever thought about the Civil War re-enactment? Totally LARP’ing there. Yeah, yeah, you’re a history buff. Well then go read the damn book. No need to grow out the handlebar mustache and go clean out your musket to enjoy a little American history…but yeah, what the hell? That got off track fast. I blame you and your talk of tinctures. Nah, I’m just alluding to the childhood fave of anyone not young enough to quote Lil’ Wayne. So basically, nobody’s gonna get it. Show was off and on for like 10 years…shut up, it’s my childhood! Moving on…what I’m trying to get at is, Alfredo Simon has been a bit of a bear to own in regular fantasy but he’s extremely enjoyable for we daily fantasy folk. You see, these young Cubbies…well, if you caught my last Stroman call you’d understand. They’re still learning how to play baseball the right way. Sure, they’re exciting to watch and it’s great to think about the future but most of their veteran bats are done for the year due to injury and what’s left is a group that’s K’ing at an alarming rate: 28.3% heading into Sunday, to be exact. That’s just 2% less than the Twins and they’ve faced Chris Sale this past past week. And in the end, Simon keeps the ball down reasonably well wtih a 1.62 GB/FB ratio so the ball shouldn’t be flying out of the park on him. In the end, this is a bit of a punt play to give room for those 10+ K pitchers because in the end they are worth it this Monday, believe me. Speaking of, let’s move on and get to them, shall we? So without further ado, here’s Monday’s hot takes on the DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to check theDFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

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I’m jumping out of the program this week and making this a mash up creeper post. Juan Uribe and Scott Van Slyke have got my mojo at full attention with their road trips to Colorado and Chicago this week, and I want to combine them into one monster. Now why not just choose one? Good point. I don’t want to choose. With the Dodgers September call-ups, the outfield has got mucky, but one thing I know is Don likes to play Scott when a lefty is on the hill, and the Dodgers face five of them this week. I’m not saying that he will play all five games, but I think he has a good chance to get in the line-up a few of those days and you should have him stashed in daily changes leagues. We cool with that? Good!

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Throughout the year I’ve learned many things about Daily Fantasy baseball. Avoid lefties against the Rockies at Coors, never trust a Nationals pitchers, and always target hitters on a hot streak. With the last lesson in mind I’ve complied a lineup entirely filled with smoking hot bats. This strategy has been wildly successful for me all year, and typically is a great way to get a potent lineup on a limited budget. A good way to figure this out is to take a deeper look at the stats over the last two weeks. I’m about to give you a lesson in my native tongue of Stat Geek.

There are a few metrics that are particularly telling and I personally feel hold more weight in daily fantasy. My two favorites are wOBA and wRC+. I was put onto wOBA earlier in the year by the one and only Sky, and I have to say it was a revaluation. wOBA if you don’t know is based on linear weights and measures a players offensive contribution per plate appearance. Huh? I know right? I stole that definition from wiki. To put it in layman’s terms they apply a value to each positive offensive contribution whether it be a walk, a single, home run, etc and divide that total by the number of plate appearances. I have to be honest it’s not the only number I look at, but I now put more weight into that particular statistic than I do batting average, OBP, or OPS. It’s a great way to get a quick snapshot of a player’s overall performance without having to dig through stats for hours. Saving time on your homework is a huge advantage when playing daily fantasy. Of course you could just use Rudy’s DFSbot but my opening would have been really short.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to check theDFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

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After speculating who might get the call this September, we now know which prospects are getting their feet wet in the majors. More importantly, we can decide which ones may provide some fantasy value. Unlike hitter call-ups, pitchers sometimes change roles completely when they first break in. So an arm like Taijuan Walker – whom we all know is destined to be a starter – finds himself pitching out of the pen to help the Mariners in their playoff hunt. It’s not exactly Earth-shattering and it happens often, but it means we’re not going to be streaming a start from the likes of Walker or Andrew Heaney over these last two weeks, making them all but irrelevant in anything but the deepest of redraft leagues. Here – in no particular order – are the September pitcher call-ups with varying degrees of fantasy relevance for the rest of this season…

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Jeff Locke ($7,900) is a solid play today in DraftKings contests with a good matchup against the Chicago Cubs. Jeff’s great-great-grandfather John defined the “self” through the continuity of consciousness. Cool stuff – but all I really need Jeff to do is pitch seven or so strong innings with a decent strikeout total. Against the Cubs it really shouldn’t be much of an uphill climb. Chicago owns the worst strikeout percentage in the major leagues against left-handed pitching (25.3%). Sprinkle in the fact that they will be without both Anthony Rizzo and Jorge Soler this weekend and we’ve got a recipe for success at under $8K. Locke is coming off a great start as well. The 23-year-old left-hander worked the Phillies for seven innings with nine strikouts and only three hits allowed on Monday.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to check theDFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

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Baltimore’s shiny new outfielder, Alejandro de Aza, was 4-for-9 with two triples and 2 RBI in yesterday’s double header. Welcome to Plaza de Aza, where we help win fantasy baseball leagues for you. Perhaps you hadn’t noticed in the past five days Alejando de Aza has been doing work for his new team, gathering in a hit in his sixth straight start. He’s also got two stolen bases, two homers, five runs and six RBI in that stretch and he’s doing every thing he can to contribute to the O’s postseason run and your fantasy team right now. Buck Showalter is clearly feeling what Alejandro’s putting out there, as de Aza is steadily moving his way up to the top of the lineup. If he gets hot, he’s a guy that could help you in a lot of categories in the two final weeks. Grey told you to BUY him and don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone who you’re dropping or selling to pick up this hot little crab cake, be it Giancarlo Stanton, Chris Davis, Josh Hamilton, Anthony Rizzo, your soul, etc. Just don’t think about it. Forget about it. Just do the deed, close your eyes and click add/drop. You’re trying to win this thing and Alejandro can help.

Here’s what else happened Friday night in fantasy baseball:

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First off, congratulations fellow nerd, if you’re reading this it means one of two things. 1. You’re just as painfully boring as I am and you read everything Razzball posts. Or 2., You’ve made it to the second or third round of your head-to-head league playoffs. Pretty impressive if you ask me! Now go tell everyone about it and be sure to let them know how you couldn’t have done it with out the good folks at Razzball! Best fantasy sports coverage in the industry, and all that happy horse shizz as my Vavo would say. What’s a Vavo you ask? It’s a Portuguese grandfather. See, you learn something new everyday. Well, I don’t because I know everything there is to know. It’s okay marvel at my excellence.

As for this week in double dipping, we have a couple of rude party guests in the Red Sux, Diamondbacks, Cubs, White Sox, Astros, and Padres, who have decided to move to 6-man rotations. Who would have guessed that the rudest guests at this two start party would come from Massachusetts, California, Texas, Arizona, and Chicago? Regardless of those skipping the cake and ice cream that is this week’s TwoStartapalooza we still have a whole bunch of good options to discuss. I’ve decided to add another element to these posts going forward. I’m now going to add in each pitchers home or road ERA, as well as the opponents wOBA against that pitcher’s handiness, and their home/road wOBA. I feel this provides you the reader with better statistical data, as well as better transparency into the reasoning behind each ranking. This week I’m just going with each opponents home/road wOBA because I’m on vacation, and if I spend any more time writing, my wife will kill me. So starting next week I’ll have all these numbers for you. The greater point is this data paired with Rudy’s new handy dandy two start matrix makes these posts that much more helpful. Knowledge is power boys, and raw Imma give it to ya with no trivia raw like cocaine straight from Bolivia. Ohhh U-God you had one good line in 25 years….

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There are some tempting (and ‘spensive) names on the SP menu tonight, but as always, my eyes gravitate to my boy, Mat Latos ($8,800). He draws the Brewers at Miller Park tonight, a place where he has failed to earn a W in 6 career starts. That comes to an end tonight. Latos is due to pop his cherry at the home of the beer makers. He has pitched well against Milwaukee this season, registering a 2.57 ERA and .184 BAA in 21 IP. The Brewers also look like they are going into choke mode as the season winds down. They haven’t scored more scored more than 4 runs in their last 6 games, and they now find themselves on the outside of the playoff picture, looking in. Latos is going to spin a gem on the cheap, and if you want to find some other undervalued options to pair with him, look no further than beyond the sales pitch below.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 team league of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to check the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

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Ah, the stretch run and the second to last Holds post of the year.  If your not streaming RP at this point to your advantage, I don’t know what else to tell you but to give me your password, and just get ready for Sunday fundays.  It’s not Sunday is it?  Because I can’t talk about it with it around, because it slowly consumes me, then beats me, steals all my money, and makes me feel like that time at the water park.  Sorry, sidetracked on terrible memories.  So Drew Storen has popped up and taken the reigns until Soriano figures out why seven ate nine.  I have heard that people are questioning why Tyler Clippard isn’t in there trying to win one for the skipper.  It’s easy, but has multiple levels to it.  First, you don’t take your best reliever out of the key spot, and that’s setting up and clinching the game for you. Rhis is documented by Clippard dominating in appearances with the lead over the last 30 days.  The second is– Storen, who will be awfully expensive next year, while pitching effective, is basically being showcased and used to keep Rafael Soriano from getting his guaranteed 15 million doll hairs next year.  You heard me: 15 million.  Which becomes guaranteed at 120 games finished, he currentlly sits at 104.  The moon landing, JFK, and keeping Rafi Soriano from getting duckets. Conspiracy theories or truth, all I can do is type it… hold on, Oliver Stone is on the phone.  Stick around for some snippets of relief pitching lore and a flashy chart made from unicorn tears…

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As the MLB season comes to a close, you probably have lost interest in your season long leagues, and DFS at DraftKings is all you have left. Even focusing on MLB is a challenge with the NFL back in the loop; but there is money to be made, and if you don’t like money well then stop reading now. I have a love/hate relationship with Thursday MLB slates. They are usually very short which means there are not a lot of options. On the flip side, it is easier to focus on certain games and make better choices. Today is an interesting day as there are a lot of “fringe” aces on the mound, and a lot of “crap” pitchers too – so there should be some great value hitting wise. PS kudos to anyone who got the Three Six Mafia title reference.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 team league of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to check the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?