Back on the 6th of February, I was invited to a 15-Team Expert’s Mock meant to emulate something akin to what the NFBC does. Whoa, Rudy has a Razzy sign-up on-going for this type of format?… Coincidence? NOTHING IS COINCIDENCE. Anyhizzle, I’d like to thank Paul Sporer of Baseball Prospectus and our mighty mustache’d overlord Grey for being invited to such a festive affair. I even wore my Christmas sweater. At home. In front of the computer. With no socks. Or pants. Lo-and-behold, the draft was held on a Thursday, which, if you don’t know, is a night reserved for drinking and debauchery in the Longfellow household. Then again, so is Friday. And Saturday. And, um, well, Sunday too. And Monday. Well, you get the point. ALL THE NIGHTS. I could quite possibly be an alcoholic. But I like the taste, so that means I’m not. Wait, what? Anyhow, the best part about drinking during a draft, even a mock one, is you get plausible deniability for everything. Did I need some here? That’s for you to decide…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Go to a quiet, dark place and light a few candles (preferably scented). Cue up my theme music. Now close your eyes, listen to my intro in it’s entirety and visualize greatness. Then, and only then, may you open your curious eyes and continue on (make sure you go back and watch the video because it’s awesome). If you lack the heart of a champion, I strongly recommend you either 1) refrain from reading further, or in my opinion the better option 2) play my theme music on at full volume,on repeat, until you’ve built up the testicular fortitude to withstand any obstacle on your way to glory.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Looking for a great fantasy baseball draft kit to help you draft your fantasy baseball team in 2014? Good, because otherwise you are the worst web surfer in the world. (Did I search for fantasy baseball rankings? Damn, I meant chicken cordon bleu recipe.)
Just like last year, the 2014 Razzball Fantasy Baseball Draft Kit is free. MAYBE there are better fantasy baseball draft kits out there for $ (I don’t know, I don’t pay for ‘em) but I can guarantee none of them are #DIV/0! times better.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome to another season of the Razzball Commentator Leagues! After typing that, I now know why we abbreviate that shiitake mushroom. I’m out of breath and burned 89 calories just from typing that out, and that doesn’t even include trying to figure how I spelled ‘Commentator’ wrong. Apparently I added three m’s too many. So many m’s and no M&M’s! Such is life, amiright? Not really, because that makes no sense whatsoever. Anyhow, let’s get to your first question. No, I’m not VinWins. I’m not even VinLoses. Who, interesting story, is actually the cousin of Vin’s mother’s brother’s second cousin’s friend of a friend. TOO INTERESTING. Regardless, I’m Jay, and I’m here to narrate the most important fantasy story out there this season, and that is the story of YOUR 2014 RCL…Please, blog, may I have some more?
[Pssst! Keep it down but this isn't even an editor's note. I'm interrupting myself. Or at least one of myselves. Wanna play Fantasy Baseball with all these goons you see in the comments? Well Go be a Commissioner. We can't promise your safety but we can promise you'll have fun. We all know dangerous = fun. That's why all the bad boys get the hot chicks. So go commish, you wild animal you.]
Sing it with me! Villar, Villar…the speed of the Astros! Ok, maybe we shouldn’t call it singing. More like gravel-throated barfing on the mic. Thank your deity of choice for delay, compression and a poop-ton of reverb or you’d never get to hear the inner-workings of great minds like Fred Durst who has done it all for the nookie and put cookies in places we never would’ve imagined. Speaking of putting cookies in places that would surprise you…uh…Jonathan Villar is a cookie. Yeah, that’s it! A chocolate chip, macadamia nut infused, tasty morsel that is tucked away because he plays on an Astros team that has more nicknames about how bad it is – AAAstros, LAstros, ‘You can’t say Astros without saying ass’ Astros, etc – than it does different jersey types. And yes, before we move on, I do look familiar. Or maybe unfamiliar depending on who you are. I’m one of those guys on the Fantasy Football side of the Razzball universe. That little link takes you to a world where you get to see my grainy face more than maybe you’d ever want to but it’s there either way, gratis. Heck everything on this site is free, of course…except the awkward hugs that last too long. Wordpress, how many words am I at? Over 200 you say? Right, then lets get on with it. Here’s why I like Villar in deep league settings for the 2014 Fantasy Baseball season…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey threw this knuckleball: “I have an idea for someone who wants extra credit on their Razzball exam. Put together, next year, a team of 27-year-olds. My guess is if you don’t research anything else and only draft 27-year-olds, you’ll have a leg up on the competition.”
Fun, yes! A ‘leg up’…on the pool of ALL other ages? Is he serious or just having fun with us? I’ll play along… cull all those ‘lucky-year’ studs.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2014 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team. We feel this approach will be fresher, more sustainable, and require less energy consumption (for us anyway). The 2014 Reds Fantasy Baseball Preview comes courtesy of Wick Terrell from Red Reporter.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2014 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team. We feel this approach will be fresher, more sustainable, and require less energy consumption (for us anyway). The 2014 Mariners Fantasy Baseball Preview comes courtesy of Scott Weber from Lookout Landing.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Last year, I played in my first 15-team NFBC league – a 50-round ‘slow’ draft format where you cannot add any players via free agency or trades. You can only promote players to (and demote players from) your starting roster of 2C/1B/2B/SS/3B/5 OF/CI/MI/UTIL/9 P on Mondays with an additional Friday switch for hitters only.
After playing this format for a year, I think it is the perfect yang for the hyper-frenetic yin that is the Razzball Commenter League format (for sign-ups). I love streaming but there is also something satisfying about winning purely on out-drafting everyone. I like the format enough that we are considering sponsoring a league (or leagues) if there is enough demand from Razzball commenters.
So if you are interested, please enter your e-mail address below. (Note: It’s $150) I will definitely play in one of the leagues – can’t speak for any of the other writers just yet.
NOTE: THIS IS SEPARATE FROM THE RAZZBALL COMMENTER LEAGUE. THAT FORMAT/RULES (12 Team MLB) WILL STAY THE SAME AS LAST YEAR. THERE’S SIGNUPS FOR THAT.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I told ya I’d take it deep! Wait, that doesn’t sound right…strike that, reverse it, scramble to the sidelines, get dropped before you’re out of bounds and call a time out. Yeah, yeah I mixed sports metaphors but what do you expect from the guy who also works over on the Fantasy Football side of Razzball? As my wise friend Tehol once said, just as a leopard can’t change it’s spots, a guy in a leopard thong can’t change his ways just because he’s on the fantasy baseball side of the world. So pardon me while I limber up for some lumber talk and take a little peek at a guy who was a surprise call up after Giancarlo went down last year and who did very little with his time before being sent down and finishing the year with season-ending thumb surgery…hrm, coulda sold that better, methinks. Let’s have a do-over, shall we? Here’s my excitement in doge format. Marcell Ozuna! Much excite! Many power! Such amazing! There, much better. I should work for Apple. But now that we’ve underlined and highlighted what we came to talk about, I guess we should get to it. So here’s why you should target Ozuna in your deeper leagues for the 2014 Fantasy Baseball season…Please, blog, may I have some more?