There is a stupid premium on Jered Weaver. Stupid as in dumb. Not stupid as in, “Yo, Grey your feathered hair is stupid fresh! Farrah Fawcett is prolly jealous in heaven. Flap your wings, Greyseph Hawkins, you are my angel on earth. I love you.” In the top 20 starters for 2013 fantasy baseball, I went over some of this so if you’ve been there, read that, skip ahead until the sentence starting, “Your claim to fame…” Last year, Weaver’s K-rate bottomed out to its lowest since his rookie year with a 6.77 K/9. That ranks 58th for starters. He’s between Masterson, Kuroda, Ervin Santana, Paul Maholm. That’s eeny meeny miny no. To go further with one of the guys there, Kuroda’s K-rate was 6.84, his walk rate was 2.09 and his xFIP was 3.67. Weaver’s walk rate and xFIP were 2.15 and 4.18. Oh, and Kuroda’s fastball velocity sits around 92. Weaver’s is at 88. If you were just looking at those numbers with no names attached, you’d concur Kuroda is headed for a better season in 2013 than Weaver. You, sir, are a darn fine concurrer. Speaking of Weaver’s fastball, he had the 8th worst velocity in the majors. Your grandmother could throw faster. Granted, your grandmother was a receptionist at the Miami-based Biogenesis of America clinic, but still. For xFIP, Weaver was the 27th worst in the majors between Volquez, Arroyo, Buehrle and Nolasco. Those guys couldn’t get into the Who’s Who Among American Baseball Players with $39.95 and a B+ GPA. So why is Jered Weaver overrated for 2013 fantasy baseball?

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It’s more like you’re a schmohawk if you draft Buster Posey in the 2nd round. Let’s just look at his MVP season. Hmm, it might take me a while to get through 300 hours of video to look at his MVP season. Plus, you give this to me on VHS?! Grey’s Intern, “Sorry, Mr. Albright, MLB is a bit behind with their technology. I assumed you didn’t want grainy black and white film with Mel Allen voice over.” Put an ad on Craigslist for a new intern! GI, “Aw, shucks.” All right, due to a slight setback we’re gonna have to look at Posey’s season through the online prism of stats. His MVP year was 78/24/103/.336/1. To compare and contrast: he had the 66th most runs, one behind Michael Young and Andre Ethier. Yay. Yay, “Don’t overuse me for your sarcastic amusement. I have feelings.” Sorry, Yay. His 24 homers was tied for 45th best. Same as Napoli, Plouffe and Swisher. Super. Super, “I feel the same as Yay.” His RBIs were 15th overall. That’s one off of Pence’s pace. Whoopie doo. Whoopie Doo, “I don’t mind the sarcasm.” Posey’s steals were tied for 881st with Jake Westbrook, Prince Fielder and Xavier Nady, who I believe retired in 2009. A notoriously quick group, to be sure. Now, in case you skimmed the first ten sentences of nonsense. This was Posey’s MVP season. So, he’s going to get better this year? Is he going to win the G.O.A.T MVP and get knighted? Is the new number one name for boys in America going to be Posey? That’ll confused some doctors in the maternity ward. New Dad, “Look at that Posey!” Doctor, “Now’s not the time for that, sir.” So what can we expect from Buster Posey for 2013 and what makes him overrated?

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