Max Scherzer has been almost exactly the same pitcher the last three years. He pitches around a 3.75 xFIP then fights Nazis in the offseason. (He sure is limber for being thousands of years old, made of mud and having two different color eyes!) I say almost because his strikeout rate fell a tad in 2011, but nothing that I’m worried about. His velocity was fully populated with speedballs. Gas at 93 MPH on average. Sometimes turning the heat up to 98 just to confuse thermometers. Three years under his belt and he’s going to be 27 years old for half the season. Don’t think we’ve seen the best of what Scherzer has to offer. Can you tell my excitement. I can’t even make complete sentences. What’s got me even more excited for 2012? He cut his walk rate last year. To borrow a yokelism that no one says, that was the big junebug in his bonnet and he eradimacated it. So what can we expect of Max Scherzer for 2012 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?
Please, blog, may I have some more?2012 Fantasy Baseball Sleepers
Brad Peacock isn’t even ranked in the top 150 starters for CBS. Then again they have Javier Vazquez ranked 47th overall and he retired, so there’s that. Here’s what I said when he was traded to the A’s, “Peacock had a great season in Double- and Triple-A last year, putting up a 2.39 ERA and a 177/47 K/BB line. The A’s basically got Gio Gonzalez back. I’m gonna be all about Peacock in 2012 like I just woke up from a nap after drinking seven glasses of water.” And that’s me quoting me! I obviously thought the acquisition of Peacock by Pitt was a great get. I wonder if skinny Jonah Hill is as good a baseball evaluator as fat Jonah Hill. I know he’s not as funny. He’s not even as easy to look at. Nothing worse than the nerd who gets the summer makeover and thinks he’s now cool. You’re still a nerd, embrace your Jew-fro. Don’t make me take off my mustache and smack you with it. Peacock is done with the minors. He has nothing left to prove, so I do think the understaffed A’s will show off their Peacock in their Opening Day rotation. So what can we expect of Brad Peacock for 2012 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Look at you getting two posts today, which we will continue until next October. It’s an exciting time to be alive. Kinda like in the 1300′s when doorknobs were invented and people no longer needed to axe down the door to enter their house. So how about those Cleveland Indians brimming with prospects? It’s the biggest Native American bounty since the original Thanksgiving. Fingers crossed these Indians aren’t practically wiped from existence, then almost 400 years later Lonnie Chisenhall‘s great-great grandniece is allowed to open a casino. Lonnie Chisenhall was called up in the middle of last season, like a firefly without a light. In his first full month, he hit two homers and .217, like a slow torch burning. In his 2nd month, he didn’t do much better, like a key that could use a little turning. Seemed like he should’ve been getting somewhere. Then in September, he hit four homers and .279. Like a madman laughing at the rain. If you knew those were Soul Asylum lyrics, pat yourself on the back…with a knife. I’ll take that September month from Chisenhall every day of the week and twice on Muesday if we can get that from him every month next year, but can we? Let’s see what we can expect of Lonnie Chisenhall in 2012 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?
Please, blog, may I have some more?I, Albert Lang, have been a Kelly Johnson fan, for no real reason, for some time now. I seem to be the only one. ESPN has him in the 200s, and his ADP is at 253. Certainly his 2011 (.222/.304/.413) did nothing to engender him to fantasy players, but I think this just makes him a steal for 2012.
Please, blog, may I have some more?No, they don’t refer to these Nolan Reimold-types as being “Grey’s stubborn and unable to let go of past” sleepers. No, I’m not just recycling posts from 2009. Though how about that Garrett Atkins?! These players are post-hype sleepers, y’all! Catch the excitement! Don’t worry, I won’t push Carlos Quentin on you. Though he is reporting he’s fully healthy. (I’m joking; Quentin is never fully healthy. Padres might want to consider the Tijuana farmacias to cut back on Quentin’s overhead (and under-oblique.
Please, blog, may I have some more?This is ridiculous. Brandon Morrow has been a sleeper for me going on three years. I realize this. Hence my pointing-it-out’ing. Here’s what I have to ask myself. Is he just another Ricky Nolasco? A guy that consistently has an ERA higher than his xFIP and you should just ignore? Nolasco had a 5.06 ERA in 2009 and a 3.23 xFIP. Pegged by everyone and their monkey’s uncle to be a breakout candidate in 2010. Monkey’s Uncle, “Actually, I liked Mat Latos.” Then in 2010, Nolasco flopped again — 4.51 ERA vs.
Please, blog, may I have some more?I’ll give you a little insight into my writing these posts. I write the majority of them in October and November. Baseball’s slow then and it gives me time to backlog. I tell you this because I want to be clear that when I wrote this post Alex Presley was a sleeper with everyday playing time coming his way in five months. Whether that holds true through the offseason and Spring Training, me no psychic. Me no grammar smartie either. Any the hoo! Last year Presley was the top earning dead celebrity…*checking notes* That’s all wrong! Presley had 4 homers and 9 steals with a .298 average. Yay, maybe he can get a float in Pittsburgh’s St.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Who knows how to get pageviews better than me? I mean, when people see the title Vernon Wells, 2012 Fantasy Sleeper they are bound to click on that. Am I right, or am I right-right?! Shoot, I imagine a lot of people will link to this article and before I know it I’ll have a castle made of all the pennies I earn from people reading this article then people will tour my penny castle in a bus and point out the room where I went mad waiting for Vernon Wells to actually hit. The irony! (If that’s irony, I don’t know. Only British people know what irony is.) Neverthehullabooloo, guys and three girl readers, Vernon Wells really wasn’t bad last year. He was terrible! See what I did there? Clever with a capital K. He hit 25 homers but batted .218 and he just turned 33 years old. Nice sleeper, Grey, did you not want to write about Edgar Renteria?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Ugh. I hate Alex Rios. It hurts me soul, Lupe Fiasco, to write this post. Unfortch, I gotta point out Alex Rios because of his terrible 2011 has made him underrated. I’m just going to write the rest of this post and then pretend like it never happened if he disappoints again. You know, like Matthew Berry would. Last year, Rios put up a line of 64/13/44/.227/11. That looks a lot like the line you get if Darwin Barney is pinch-running for Adam Dunn every time he gets on base. Rios had a career worst year in average, steals, RBIs and walk rate. Also, his worst power year in 7 years (since his sophomore year) and worst Isolated Power since his rookie year. The only thing he didn’t do last year on the negative side of things was verbally attack your grandmother while defecating on your favorite team jersey. Though I’m sure he would’ve if he knew where you or Gramsie lived.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Peter Bourjos was one of my sleeper picks last year, so here we are doing our fantasy baseball 2012 sleeper posts with more of the same? Yawn! Hey, Random Italicized Voice, yawning and sleepers go hand in hand. I’m going to ignore you said that.
Please, blog, may I have some more?

