3rd base sucks. My apologies to MC Serch and Prime Minister Pete Nice, but it ain’t about y’all! It’s 3rd base for fantasy baseball. And it’s like a raccoon crawled up in your attic and died, then the raccoon’s ghost came back in the form of your dead grandmother and nags you about changing your underwear. Tell your dead raccoon ghost in the form of your dead grandmother that you don’t need to change underwear if you’re not regularly getting laid and 3rd base sucked before, but now it’s even worse with this David Wright getting all iffy up in here, up in here. Let’s face it, only two people per league are getting Bautista or Longoria. You want Adrian Beltre for $29/3rd round? I don’t really want to pay that premium. So we’re left with trying to figure out how to get the stench of this dead raccoon/grandmother hybrid out of our fantasy attic with sleeper picks. I went over some targets for 3rd base for 2012 fantasy baseball. I didn’t mention Brent Morel there because I was holding him back so I could rub over his name with my pink highlighter. Consider this 12-point Razzball font my pink highlighter and go ahead and protest my highlighter color, Westboro Baptist Church! So what do I like about Brent Morel for 2012 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ok, so you’re going to ask yourself ‘has Razzball turned into a Perez Hilton site?’ Why should you care that Jonathan Niese got a nose job because Carlos ‘Ricky’ Beltran made fun of him? At first, I didn’t really care either but then I learned a bit more about the procedure from this article:
Niese said he has always had trouble breathing through his nose, which he felt hindered him during cardiovascular exercise…The doctor conducted a scan that showed Niese’s nasal passageways were obstructed, but that they could be reconstructed to facilitate airflow…The difference in his breathing now, Niese said, is like “night and day.”
Alright, so he can jazzercise a bit longer than he could before and doesn’t have to wear breathe right strips to do it. Good for him. But then I started doing a little investigating into his splits and found some interesting numbers with regards to his first 4 innings of work. Since becoming a full-time starter in 2010, his first inning through the fourth inning has given him a 3.87 ERA to go with a 3.85 K:BB ratio, good for an 8.48 K/9. Meanwhile, his work in the 5th and 6th innings left him at a 4.65 ERA to go with a 1.40 K:BB ratio and a 6.25 K/9. Even if we can reasonably expect a pitcher to wear down by the 6th inning, those K:BB ratios are quite drastic.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Even if you draft one or two outfielders in the top 100 (which you should), you’ll still need to identify some late bargains. The top 20, 40, 60 and 80 outfielders for 2012 fantasy baseball can be found under the 2012 fantasy baseball rankings. This is by no means all the outfielders I’d draft for one of my teams. This is a list of guys that will go after the top 200 and could provide some healthy returns. Where applicable, click on the player’s name to read more about them and to see their 2012 projections. Anyway, here’s some outfielders to target for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Bryce Harper – More of a keeper pick. Not yet a stud, but should be a stud for many years to come, assuming the league doesn’t disallow every home run he hits because of too much pine tar under his eyes.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’ll start an article about Wilin Rosario by talking about Ramon Hernandez just to spite you. Here’s the amount of games Ramon has played by season since 2007: 106, 133, 81, 97, 91. Unlike Benjamin Button, Ramon has actually gotten older over those 5 years and will be 36 in May. So we are putting an aging catcher who can’t stay healthy behind the plate in Colorado and slapping an ADP tag of 259 on it? BTW, that’s ahead of catchers like Carlos Ruiz, A.J.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I hate these stupid beyotchabatukises too. No love lost here! Though I’m not sure if that means you love someone or you hate them. I’m trying to think the last time I heard someone say no love lost and if they were saying it happily or angrily. I think it was angrily, but they might have had no idea what they were talking about either. Well, with love lost or not, I still want a 3rd baseman earlier on. I’d prefer to not have to take a flyer from these schmohawks. Though they are different levels of schmo-ness. Some are definitely less schmo-y. As mentioned in my 2nd basemen to target or was it 1st basemen to target or catchers to target, in one of those I mentioned how if a position is deep I want a top guy unless it’s pitchers. Yeah, if the position is shallow, I don’t want a flyer. I’d prefer to have a flyer where most have flyers. This is contrary to popular opinion; maybe I’ll win a Pulitzer for this shizz. Speaking of Pulitzers, I had dinner recently with someone who won a Pulitzer. I can’t even spell Pulitzer without the spellchecker. Anyone who can spell it, should win it. They only mentioned their Pulitzer three times over the course of two hours. I would’ve been wearing the Pulitzer medallion around my neck (is it a medallion?). I would put my name in to a restaurant hostess as “Pulitzer.” When a waiter came by for our drink orders, I would ask for a whiskey with a splash of Pulitzer. The Pulitzer person was now working at US Weekly. I asked if they won the Pulitzer for their Octamom coverage. They weren’t amused. This list is 3rd basemen that can be had later in your drafts. Look at this as a supplement to the top 20 3rd basemen of 2012 fantasy baseball. Where applicable, click on the players name to read more about them or to see their 2012 projections. Anyway, here’s some 3rd basemen to target for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Ian Stewart – Can you believe I didn’t write a sleeper post about Ian Stewart? Yes, I’ve written one about him for the last three years. I meant, can you believe I didn’t write one this year? You know what that means, right? This is the year he finally puts his shizz together and earns his Mini Mini Donkey brays.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Say ‘Tony Campana in Centerfield’. Now say it again, only this time with an Antonio Banderas accent, a la Puss in Boots. There was no reason for any of that, I just want to see how many people will now get that stuck in their head every time they read his name.Please, blog, may I have some more?
For everything that went right in 2010 for Travis Wood, 2011 saw everything go epic fail wrong. His K/9 dropped, his BB/9 rose and ERA jumped a full run. It got so bad, even Dusty Baker didn’t want to abuse his arm anymore as they sent him to AAA in June. I’m giving his 2011 a ‘lack of confidence’ pass; I didn’t see an organization that fully trusted him and I saw that turn into a lack of trust for himself. It’s my theory and I’ll type if I want to. I’d love to hear how you think a guy goes from striking out 8 per 9 to 6.5 per 9 in the matter of 1 season without signs of an injury. The only thing that seemed to get hurt to me was his pride.Please, blog, may I have some more?
There’s no Reyes, Tulo or Hanley on this list of shortstops. This list is guys that can be had later in your drafts if you’ve punted shortstop or are still looking for a middle infielder. Look at this as a supplement to the top 20 shortstops of 2012 fantasy baseball. If you’re feeling especially adventurous, click on the player’s name to read more about them or to see their 2012 projections. I’m going to start this list of targets at the 141 ADP cut off. You say, “Arbitrary!” I say, “Why are you saying arbitrary to a computer screen? No one can hear you.” Anyway, here’s some shortstops to target for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Dee Gordon – Something I didn’t mention in the lede, but did mention in the lede in the 2nd basemen to target post is I am actually targeting these guys for my shortstop spot and not just for my MI. I tend to punt shortstop, not to the point where I’m looking to draft Ruben Tejada or Robert Andino, but to around 120 overall. I could have two 2nd basemen (one for 2nd and one for MI) before I start thinking about shortstop. There’s just very little value to found earlier. As for Dee Gordon, he could steal 70 bases and it wouldn’t totally shock me. I don’t think he does, but the fact he could makes him a must target in all leagues. He’s going at 141 on average at Mock Draft Central (see, it wasn’t that arbitrary). He could give you Michael Bourn’s stats at shortstop, that’s Bourn who is being drafted almost 100 picks earlier. (Bee tee dubya, who the eff uses the word lede? What, I’m a newsie?)
Emilio Bonifacio – Small ball theme going on here. Maybe we can get Whitey to send Willie McGee to our draft for us. Would be reminiscent of that deleted scene from Mask when Rocky Dennis goes for sushi and the chef commits seppuku.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I almost didn’t write this post because I don’t think you should be looking for sleeper 1st basemen. It’s a no-no that makes my no-no area shrink. Then I got to thinking and then I started watching Chopped, then I took a nap, then I had a snack, then I remembered I was writing a post about sleeper 1st basemen, but forgot why I didn’t want to write the post in the first place so I wrote it. Now, you should not target these guys for your 1st base slot, but you could fill your corner infidel or Utility slot with one of these guys. But, whatever you do, don’t punt 1st base. This is a supplement to the top 20 1st basemen of 2012 fantasy baseball.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yeah, I like Anthony Rizzo too. I like him better than Bryan LaHair even if LaHair was moussing pitchers all last year. In the PCL, which doesn’t stand for Plutonium Chloride, he hit 38 homers with a .331 average, mashing like his name was Dee Dee Sharp. Sure, batting in the PCL is like hitting with an aluminum bat in an anti-gravity chamber, but he was the best — the best, Jerry!Please, blog, may I have some more?