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Tyler Pastornicky was born 12/13/1989, which is crazy young, good lord.

Certainly he’s too young to have been a fifth round draft pick THREE YEARS ago by the Toronto Blue Jays. Or not, I suppose.

He made his way down to Georgia as part of the semi-big trade that exiled Yunel Escobar and his “’tude” to Canada, which isn’t a portion of the United States of America.

Please, blog, may I have some more?